I think that even a *token* effort would had gone a long way. Starfleet ships are designed to evacuate colonies. Just go to the border, spam we want to help, just show up. Even if only a few Galaxies and Excelsiors and Constellations filled to the brim arrive and transport as much as they can, around the clock...a lot of the bad blood would had gone away. But apparently the Admirals go 'Nah we ain't got it' - maybe there's a cold war with the Breen going on (far from implausible), maybe the Tholians are doing stuff, so they can barely spare anything. But why not just throw the Merchant Marine at them if that's the case? Do something, anything, you know?
I think that, if there's a sapient species on the planet and there's a natural disaster that could be averted without them knowing, Starfleet should try, of course without them knowing. A asteroid on a collision course within 10k years? Move it slightly. A Volcano about to erupt that'll Toba them? Do what into Darkness did. A small genetic disease killing their crops or their reproduction rate? Just throw a cure down and about. Just to give them a chance due to their sapience alone. Geopolitical stuff or actions caused by their own sapience, however, gets far more trickier, and thus I can understand the hands-off approach, though it still leaves a sour aftertaste. I don't doubt for a second that immediately after FC, many people blamed the Vulcans for not interfering in WW3, the Eugenics Wars, WW2, WW1, or whatever.
For a long time it seemed to be implied that the Vulcans were barely aware of Earth....not to mention watching them...but some ENT went and contradicted that I believe.