Apparently, all of my housemate's complaints are legitimate and all of mine are not. Story of my life.
Woke up this morning with an anxiety attack and I can’t seem to shake it. It’s all work related. Doesn’t help when one child won’t get out of bed because they hate school and won’t go to sleep at night, and the other one talks incessantly and this morning is compiling a Christmas list with running commentary.
Here's the thing...I think I'm becoming more and more paranoid. I simply cannot take a compliment, especially an enthusiastic compliment. I always wonder if I'm being patronized which gets me even more paranoid. Things have not been going too well with my housemate lately, either. I mentioned above that none of my complaints are valid but all of his are. The thing is, it's always been the same with my mom. Oh, and if I mention something from my past that may have contributed to my current mental health my mom always jumps right to, "I DID THE BEST I KNEW HOW!!!" and there can be no rational discussion. No critical analysis of my upbringing. And if I ask any detail about my past that I'm not sure of, mom: "I don't remember details, just feelings," and then goes on to relay a detailed story that happened 20 years ago involving my brother or dad or her sister or friend. I guess I know where I stand.
Despite the glorious weather and the good results in my allotment, I am having a down day. Everything seems so difficult. I need a Nike slap.
I hope things start looking better for you. Just curious, is this a case of Autocorrect Gone Wrong? Being hit with a shoe might not improve your situation that much.
It’s the Nike slogan, ‘just do it’. Sometimes I feel like I need a good (metaphorical) slap to snap me from my malaise and get back on track.
@Scribble: I understand how you feel. It's hard when a parent can't or won't acknowledge how their actions or inaction affected you. An update on my stuff: I got a letter written to my dad and it went well. I voiced my feelings on things and he voiced his. It's a way that works with my autistic anxiety and he feels better knowing that I'm communicating.
Good for you! I'm proud of you. I've had some worrying developments. Actually, it's been happening for a while, but I've noticed an increase in the frequency of me seeing little movements just out of the center of my vision. They're not floaters as there is almost always something where I think that movement was, but it's always an inanimate object like a pebble or piece of lint. I'm worried I've begun hallucinating. It's possible it has to do with my glasses and that it's just a reflection or glare from making tiny head movements, but I'm not so sure.
I know things are tricky with insurance and such, but as someone who has had a lot of eye issues, my first recommendation would always be that if you're noticing changes occurring in your vision, you should get your eyes checked, just in case. Hopefully it's nothing, but if there is an issue, it's usually better if it's detected earlier.
I’ve had a rather down week, glad it’s Friday and I can catch up with a kindred spirit and a few proper pints. This week has been marked by depression I think. I just haven't been able to get anything done. Starting a new business whilst caught in the thrungs of depression and chronic anxiety isn’t exactly ideal, but the money will dry up very quickly if I don’t get on with it. It’s times like this that having wealthy parents would have been really useful. Maybe in the next life.
Depression sucks, in general, but it can also be a huge inconvenience! Just when things seem to be going our way, here comes depression to screw everything up!
Yup. It’s bloody annoying. For one thing, I’ve got the time to do the things I always wanted to do but didn’t have the time to do it. I should be living the dream, but sometimes, like now, I can’t even rally the will to make myself more comfortable on the couch. All I need to do is sit up a little, why is that difficult? I don’t get it.
^^ THIS EXACTLY!!! Those that do not know cannot seem to understand how much of a negative force this is.