The phrase 'this is why we can't have nice things' springs to mind. Yesterday, I was waiting for a package from Amazon. The delivery time was 9pm but I knew that it'd arrive early afternoon. (Which it did.)
Currently, I want to ease back into live streaming and rebuild a youtube channel. I've finally found a niche after nearly three years of disruption.
Long story short, most activities that I've looked forward to over the past three years has been bookended by problem neighbours. Whether it was creative projects or social events. I can't associate a good memory without a bad one. I had to stop going out because (a) something bad would happen the night before and (b) accumulative stress impacted my quality of life. This happened more times than I care.
For example, I saw one of my fave bands from childhood on my birthday. It was a really good concert, watched from the front row, although I was in pain that day from prolongued anxiety/sleep deprivation. Afterwards, I came home more exhausted and couldn't go to bed. My neighbour played loud music until the early hours of the morning.
Anyway... Live streaming is my way to move on. I'm finally excited about something. At least, grateful to have control of my life again. It was impossible beforehand.
The Amazon package arrived sooner. No problem. Although the delivery guy had trouble finding my door number and, of course, my problem neighbour had to be outside to 'help.'
It might sound petty but I didn't like that. Plus, it's approaching the three year anniversary of the start of trouble. I'm still dealing with long term ailments because of it. Guess that I just want a good memory that's truly mine without bad reminders of the past cropping up.
