Puns

[Groppler Zorn]

Why was Data arrested after shutting down his brother?

He broke the Lore.

(Only works in accents that don’t pronounce /r/ after vowels. Also I’ll go away now).

 

[Jayson1]

On a scale 1 to 9 how angry do you think Mulgrew was that Jeri Ryan got hired.

7 of 9.

Jason

 

[Coyote Annabis]

Why was Keiko so tired after her vacation?
She put in a lot of miles...

What does the Voyager have in common with a dead cell phone?
No Data.

What do you get when a chicken gives birth to a Ferengi?
Egg Nog

Why did Kirk bring so much toilet paper on the Enterprise?
To get rid of Klingons.

What did Picard dig up on his last archeology trip?
Bones

 

[JirinPanthosa]

I've got a buddy who got in trouble with the Dominion. He neglected his duties as a solider and got obsessed with collecting jewelery. He collected way too much jewelery and then refused to throw any of it out.

He was a Gem'Hoarder.

 

[Qonundrum]

What's another name for a male monk? "Guinan".

Commander Data's least-favorite video game is "Yar's Revenge"...

 

[Jayson1]

What would you call a fan story about the Enterprise making love to the Voyager?

Shipping.

What do you call a Trek episode airing at 7 p.m

Prime Universe

Jason

 

[Coyote Annabis]

Why doesn't Picard shop at the Apple store?
He's got an Android.

If the Defiant broke down, and her captain had to push, could you say she's going at Worf Speed?


What do you call a group of Lurian cosplayers?
Morn-ers

What do you call a funny movie about a Ferengi?
A Rom-Com

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Why did the director of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon start to get greedy when he started growing more body hair?

He was becoming a FurAngLee.

 

[Jayson1]

Why will Data never be pregnant?

He can't make contractions.


What did that one Starfleet security officer fall through the floor and die from "In Theory?"

She was standing on a hollow deck.

Jason

 

[Farscape One]

Why doesn't Captain Picard shop at an Apple store?

He's too busy with a Galaxy.

 

[Jayson1]

Why is Meatloaf so scared he will do anything for love, but he won't do that?

Charlie X turned him into a chicken.

Jason

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Turkey.

 

[Lance]

My new neighbour (a plain, simple guy, so he tells us ) used to work for the Obsidian Order... now, I'm not so much keeping up with the joneses, as I am keeping up with the cardassians.

(Aw c'mon, someone had to say it! )

 

[Farscape One]

Yes, someone did have to say it. And it was funny.


How does Worf take his rokeg blood pie?

With mint frosting.

 

[f14peter]

Why did Captain Terrell lose command of the Reliant so easily?

He was Khanned out of it.

 

[Carpathia86]

Why did Captain Terrell lose command of the Reliant so easily?

He was Khanned out of it.

I guess you could say that Khan really gave Terrell and Chekov an ear full...

 

[GeordiFan]

So in the episode "Dawn" when Commander Tucker crashed on that planet, you could say he had a bad Tripp...and by the end he seemed to be pretty tuckered out

 

[Qonundrum]

Troi was no longer fond of being vegetarian when Broccoli showed up.
Troi was even more fond of being vegetarian when Broccoli showed up.

 

[Qonundrum]

Why didn't Sisko become a movie critic? Because Ebert would get confused.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Why did Guinan fail as a proctologist?

She kept saying “You’re a roid, and he’s a noid!”