Or seeing T'Rul having to put up with Quark's shtick while having a drink at Quark's bar. I wonder if Bashir would have hit on her.I really wish the Romulans got more focus. It's a shame they never kept Sub-Commander T'Rul around as a recurring character so that we could start to get some insight onto their culture, it may also have tempered all the Klingon episodes we got--plus who wouldn't want to see T'Rul and Worf go toe-to-toe?
I feel that the Federation is similar in many ways to other nations that have been through 'cold wars' throughout history. Because of the nearly universal mutually assured destruction that is possible during these cold wars, various aggressive and/or possible sabotaging events go unpunished. It is no different with the Federation (if not allied) and the Romulan Star Empire. They would likely have ended up in a stalemate with much death on both sides. So, they likely felt it was best to avoid war over 'relatively minor' infractions. Obviously, not canonical, but my two cents.
From the Romulan perspective, I suppose they would have had their own gripes about Federation "mischief". I don't know if the Romulans ultimately (off screen) took any retaliatory action against the Federation for its violation of the treaty of Algeron regarding the Pegasus phase cloak incident, even though the violation would appear to be a significant matter regardless of the excuse Picard gave.
There was also the operation where Troi involuntarily impersonated a Tal Shiar to help smuggle out a bunch of high ranking Romulan defectors.
The Romulans might also have viewed the death of one of their officers while in Federation custody as Federation aggression (when Worf refused to give a transfusion).
None of these incidents led to all out war. I guess some "minor" transgressions by the other side had to be written off because they were probably not worth going to war over.