Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon 145: The Dominion Strikes Back

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back to another round of captioning folks! Thanks always for your participation, but -- in this last contest -- thanks especially for indulging me in a little Star Wars crossover.

tharpdevenport's "Quoted for Truth"

Dukat: "Gentlemen, I think we at least can all agree Han shot first. No human can move his head like that in the special edition. For goodness sake, you loop it and it looks like he's dancing."

Nerys Myk's "Spittake"

OPAKA: I love you.
SISKO: I know

JirinPanthosa's "Double Play":

KIRA: My...Schwartz...is...BIGGER!

Bad Thoughts' "But It Would Have Been so Poignant!":

Ziyal: Dukat is here. He's come for me. He is my father. The pagh is strong in my family, even my sister.
Kira: Oh, don't give me that bullshit that we're related just because Dukat took my mother under duress!

Triskelion's "Stop Talking and SHOOT!"

Sisko: The Defiant stands alone!
Nog: Just like Björn Borg's 59 titles at the age of 25, and 49 consecutive matches won in any single season, and his 92.72% match winning percentage at Wimbledon spanning 1973 to 1981?
Sisko: Never tell me the odds!


Emissary's Choice, and another spit-take.....USS Triumphant lives up to the name!

OPAKA: I'ma lookin' for the man that shot my pah.



And now this week, continuing with the naming theme but that's as far as it goes -- enter THE DOMINION!

===

 

[Smellincoffee]

Weyoun: It's a lovely ship, Dukat. Be a shame if something....were to happen to it.
Dukat: Now that you mention, I could use some fire insurance...
Weyoun: -- don't forget flooding --
Dukat: And flooding! Yes. Cardassians are the master race, sure, but our plumbing leaves must to be desired.

Sisko: @#!%* Cardassian plumbing.

Dukat: Cardassia has always been at peace with the Dominion. Slavery is freedom. Kanar is delicious.

Garak, from the sideline: Federation troops are dismal at marching. Not a single goose-step.

Weyoun: What does it mean?
Dukat: "Tomorrow. Noon. Our field." He's challenging us to a game of...base-ball.
Weyoun: And what's that smell?
Dukat: Green onions. Earth thing.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DUKAT: How much could we get for this this on ebay?
WEYOUN: Are you insane? If you think Sisko is mad about losing the station, it wouldn't even compare to him losing that baseball!

Weyoun and the Jemtones, winners of "the Dominion's Got Talent" .

Cardassian in front: "Keeping Up With the Cardassians" has really gone down hill this season.

Hup. Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup Hup

...Well the first thing you know old Ben's a millionaire

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Thanks for the win, Smellin' Coffee!

Dukat: Sisko says it's a game of heart and character, but it seems that baseball was played by men who chemically enhanced themselves in a process known as "juicing."
Weyoun: Really! I'll get right to whipping up a special batch of "white" to make the perfect Jem'hadar baseball player.

Dukat: I did not have sex with that woman ... Tora Neprem ....
[Mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Kira Meru ....
[More mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Mika ....
{More mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Kai Winn ...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Dukat: I did not have sex with that woman ... Tora Neprem ....
[Mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Kira Meru ....
[More mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Mika ....
{More mumbling off camera]
Dukat: Or Kai Winn ...

Cardassian In Front: Pass the brain bleach.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Obsidian order reports record crowds turning out for Dukat's Inauguration

 

[JirinPanthosa]

WEYOUN: Us Weyouns always learn from our mistakes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to keep all these FOUNDER-HATING Gem'Hadar loyal with the white. If it weren't for the white these Gem'Hadar would REBEL AGAINST THE FOUNDERS AND KILL THEM ALL.

When Kassidy was in prison, Sisko needed something to do in his off hours, so he took to filling the Defiant with Art Deco to liven up the place.

CARDASSIAN ON TV: Today on Cardassian Justice, we find some people we don't like and convict them of murder.
CARDASSIAN ON RIGHT: Murdering bastards!

The first time they played Changeling Hide and Seek, it was to prepare for a war with the Dominion. Then they just decided they liked it and made it an annual tradition.

DUKAT: You know I just thought of a way to really piss Sisko off.
WEYOUN: What is that?
DUKAT: Say Buck Bokai was on steroids.
WEYOUN: That's cold.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Sisko: "False alarm, Cheif, Odo's toilet backed up again. By the way, I just came up with a new job for you....."

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Sisko: Chief, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
O'Brien: Dead changeling?
Sisko: Gumbo!

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW, Smellincoffee!

Weyoun: I'll have one vanilla cone and six Happy Meals, please.
Burgerland Clerk: Do you want fries with that?
Weyoun: Let me see. First, do you or your men want fries with that?
<Jem'Hadar confer>
First: Yes.
Weyoun: We'll take the fries. All glory to the Founders.

All right, who put Mentos in Odo's bucket again??

Dukat: This??? This is all the people who turned out for my inauguration??
Cardie: We were told something about a free hat?

Julian: Eyes, open everyone. That Changeling could be anywhere or anything.
Ensign: Could he be a light bulb?
Julian: Maybe.
Ensign: Could he be that little ribbon tied to the air conditioning vent to let you know the air is blowing?
Julian: I suppose so?
Ensign: Could he be Captain Sisko's butt?
Julian: Look, does anyone want to switch partners with me? I'm starting to root for the Dominion over here.

Weyoun: What is it?
Dukat: It's a kind of game that involves linear causality with unforeseen outcomes.
Weyoun: - The hell are you smoking??

 

[Ithekro]

So why did you mount the new quantum 64K TV Oval up there anyway? This strains my neck bones.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Weyoun:

I'll have one vanilla cone and six Happy Meals, please.
Burgerland Clerk: Do you want fries with that?
Weyoun: Let me see. First, do you or your men want fries with that?
<Jem'Hadar confer>
First: Yes.
Weyoun: We'll take the fries. All glory to the Founders.

Second: Can I get a milkshake with mine?
Weyoun: No White until you prove you can behave!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Jem'Hadar chorus (singing):
Is this the wormhole? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in Ketracel-White, no escape from reality...

Weyoun (singing):
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Weyoun: "What is that?"

Dukat: "If I remember my Earth history correctly, it's a 'football'."

Weyoun: "Hum. And what is a football?"

Dukat: "A football was an eighteenth century analogue device used for entertainment."

Weyoun: "Fascinating. How was this done?"

Dukat: "Well, if I remember correctly, the person in front of you bend over, then you bend down and smelled their ass. When a flute is blown, you reach under and grab his balls."

Weyoun: "Then what was the football for?"

Dukat: "Ah, well, it was a victory item used to throw around and toss on the ground after successfully running away with the opponent's balls to the other side of the tennis court."

Weyoun: "I am in awe of your memory skills, Gul Dukat."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DUKAT: There's an inscription, "Property of Mister Laser Beam"?

 

[Triskelion]

Vorta: Commander Sisko, myself and the Wormhole Rollers here would like to bowl your team for control of the Quadrant.
Sisko: You're joking, right?
Vorta: Well you can't say we didn't try. Back in the big beetle, Rollers.
Second: I told you we needed a new name!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Weyoun: "He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgoooot..."
JemHadars: "He forgoooott..."
Sisko: "I have got to get a better encryption on my 20th century holiday film collection..."

 

[Ithekro]

Vorta: Commander Sisko, myself and the Wormhole Rollers here would like to bowl your team for control of the Quadrant.
Sisko: You're joking, right?
Vorta: Well you can't say we didn't try. Back in the big beetle, Rollers.
Second: I told you we needed a new name!

Bashir: Clearly the Dominion is not as advanced a civilization as they would like us to believe. They do not resolve all forms of arguments with the traditional use of a Children's Card Game (of Mass Destuction).

 

[publiusr]

Where do I put that thermal detonator for Jabba again? Ugh

 

[Finn]

Cardassian: I'm happy to announce that Seska has been declared lost and killed in the badlands, by Cardassian Union, the United Federation of Planets and the Maquis Resistance. Seska is dead, never to set a foot on Cardassia again...

Crowd: *cheering*