Public Display of Affection in schools

[TrickyDickie]

When I was in kindergarten, in 1972 (yeah, yeah, I hear you), I had a girlfriend and we kissed each other when we felt like it. In my senior year, I had a couple of acquaintances---guy and a girl---who were so constantly joined at the hip that I jokingly called them 'the colony creature'....a la 'Bem' from TAS.

Today, a lot of schools seem to be establishing prohibition against 'PDAs'.

I don't see where schools should be allowed to dictate about anyone's personal life. School is a public setting, not private except for the non-public schools. Life is too short to have simple joys taken away by dictators.

Establish reasonable parameters, but don't interfere with love.

And I can only imagine how bad it must be for same-sex couples who just want to show each other a little affection.

I think Bones was right about the inquisition....

 

[Velocity]

Schools don't dictate private behavior, just behavior on campus. When I was a jr high student and also later a high school student, we could hold hands in school but necking in the stairwells was prohibited. Some did it anyway and some teachers or the Deans would regularly flush the perpetrators out of the stairwells. No one really had a problem with this, in fact it was fun trying to grab kisses before the Deans found you. It was more aggravating to have dress codes and we had those up to about Sophomore year. BTW my granddaughter is always hugging her best friend in First Grade and I've never heard anyone fuss about that.

 

[Amaris]

I'm fine with PDA, as long as it's consensual and doesn't go beyond casual. A chaste kiss, a hug, holding hands, I consider this perfectly acceptable in school. It's how humans behave in large groups, and trying to discipline that out of them is foolish and shortsighted.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Schools don't dictate private behavior, just behavior on campus.

Exactly. As is their right. It's not the damn Spanish Inquisition (which nobody expects... ), just a bit of common sense.

Most schools wouldn't bother with the occasional kiss or hug or held hands, and nor should they (since those are pretty harmless), but who wants to watch strangers going at it in public?

 

[TrickyDickie]

Exactly. As is their right.

Most schools wouldn't bother with the occasional kiss or hug or held hands, and nor should they (since those are pretty harmless)

My point is that some prohibit all of that. They say no PDAs period. That's where I feel that they are taking things much too far, especially when it's in public schools. I wasn't referring to "going at it".

 

[Taylirious]

I hate to be a prude but schools are a place for learning not making out!

 

[tomalak301]

I hate to be a prude but schools are a place for learning not making out!

Agreed. I remember when I was going to school, I would see couples kind of hugging and kissing for a long stretch of time and my thought was always, "Get a room". I don't mind a small kiss or hugging, but know your surroundings. Making out on school grounds should not be allowed.

 

[Amaris]

Eh, some of us look back at that and realize we missed a golden opportunity to experience something that could have made life seem a little better, a little more tolerable. We missed out because we followed the rules, we were "good" kids, and we didn't make waves. Sometimes doing all that still leads to nothing valuable learned except, "seize the day."

 

[Taylirious]

One can show affection in more appropriate settings IMHO. Sorry J. I

 

[Amaris]

One can show affection in more appropriate settings IMHO. Sorry J. I

Sometimes people can't show that affection in more appropriate settings. Sometimes the only opportunity some kids had to connect with people who were their peers was while they were at school. I certainly didn't have any kind of after-school social life. Particularly during my high school years, I was busy taking care of a sick mother, towards the halfway point of my high school years I was also working a job. I had no time for a lot of the social opportunities so many other kids had at that time. During school, though, I could see my friends, I could connect with them, and sometimes I wanted to hug them, or kiss them, because I knew that opportunity outside of that environment would be severely restricted.

To put it another way: some of the most treasured outward affection I had when I was a teenager happened when I was in school. To take that away because of some silly little rule that helps no one but harms plenty seems to be an example of idle rule making, and serves no real purpose beyond the desire to deny the simple, enjoyable, human things that bring us together to those who are considered less than full human beings.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Eh, some of us look back at that and realize we missed a golden opportunity to experience something that could have made life seem a little better, a little more tolerable. We missed out because we followed the rules, we were "good" kids, and we didn't make waves. Sometimes doing all that still leads to nothing valuable learned except, "seize the day."

^^ This.

Again, I'm not suggesting that anyone should be 'making out' in school.

"Little things mean a lot." That's what should not be taken away from anyone's life.

 

[stardream]

I don't care as long as they don't get sloppy about it...or make those slurping sounds.

 

[Amaris]

^^ This.

Again, I'm not suggesting that anyone should be 'making out' in school.

"Little things mean a lot." That's what should not be taken away from anyone's life.

Indeed. Little things mean far more than, I think, most people realize, because we engage in the little things every day, and are often surprised when those little things are denied. I believe it creates holes in our emotions, and in our own psyche. It becomes something upon which we fixate, something that causes changes in how we perceive the world. These little human things that just make sense to us but are denied by a system that doesn't allow for the nuances of humanity.

 

[rahullak]

Just to throw this in, here in India it is culturally taboo to have PDAs beyond brief hugging. Though it happens sometimes, it can be dangerous too. There could be a moral brigade out there with a political bent of mind. If you ask the young urban people, they'd say they believe PDAs including kissing should be allowed. But it's still a dare to do it, even in a metro city in a secluded coffee shop.

 

[Taylirious]

Sometimes people can't show that affection in more appropriate settings. Sometimes the only opportunity some kids had to connect with people who were their peers was while they were at school. I certainly didn't have any kind of after-school social life. Particularly during my high school years, I was busy taking care of a sick mother, towards the halfway point of my high school years I was also working a job. I had no time for a lot of the social opportunities so many other kids had at that time. During school, though, I could see my friends, I could connect with them, and sometimes I wanted to hug them, or kiss them, because I knew that opportunity outside of that environment would be severely restricted.

To put it another way: some of the most treasured outward affection I had when I was a teenager happened when I was in school. To take that away because of some silly little rule that helps no one but harms plenty seems to be an example of idle rule making, and serves no real purpose beyond the desire to deny the simple, enjoyable, human things that bring us together to those who are considered less than full human beings.

Total BS.

 

[Miss Make It So]

Being a mom to an almost teenager getting ready to enter middle school, I'm torn between being "ok" and "not ok" with PDA in school. Part of me would love for my daughter to be able to hold hands with someone she has a crush on, yet on the other hand I'm afraid it would lead to much more than she is ready for.

 

[Taylirious]

Being a mom to an almost teenager getting ready to enter middle school, I'm torn between being "ok" and "not ok" with PDA in school. Part of me would love for my daughter to be able to hold hands with someone she has a crush on, yet on the other hand I'm afraid it would lead to much more than she is ready for.

You should be afraid! Kids aren't raised the same and some do to their parents become mini predators.

 

[Kemaiku]

Total BS.

Do tell us why, properly this time. With words.

 

[Taylirious]

Do tell us why, properly this time. With words.

"Sometimes people can't show that affection in more appropriate settings. Sometimes the only opportunity some kids had to connect with people who were their peers was while they were at school."

Schools for learning. Much like work is for work. If you can't make that fit within your life then that is your propblem not school or work.

 

[Miss Make It So]

You should be afraid! Kids aren't raised the same and some do to their parents become mini predators.

I know you speak the truth. Trust me, my anxiety is building thinking about it all.