Lindsay Lohan
Justin Bieber
Miley Cyrus
Kanye West
Donald Trump
Shia LeBouf
Tom Cruise
and special guest star
George W. Bush
I think those are what would be known as "disposable heroes"
Justin Bieber -- first to die because he's just worthless to the program. Whatever horror awaits them....he'll encounter it first with unceremonious finality.
Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan-- because every good venture to save the universe needs at least one (formerly) hot chick(who gets a temporary return to form) to meet a horrible (or perhaps even semi-erotic) demise. As to which will be the more desireable participant in the endeavor to go first? Hmmmm....but the other will surely follow after putting up a decent fight. (Kinda like Dietrich, Ferro, and Vasquez from ALIENS)
Kanye West -- Because black guys usually die in these endeavors. Just ask Joe Morton(circa Terminator 2: Judgment Day), who
jokes "never be the black man in a sci-fi movie. He always dies.".
Donald Trump -- he'll be the Peter Weylan (Prometheus) or even Charles Bishop Weylan (Aliens vs Predator) of the team. He'll have his own agenda (which doesn't get revealed until after he's sweet talked the rest of the team into getting this far into the venture) which perverts the mission of the dream team (as if it weren't perverted enough with this ensemble as it is), and he'll meet his demise...perhaps not as horrible as Miley Cyrus', Kanye West's...and especially Justin Bieber's. Money can't buy you everything.
Shia LeBouf -- He might be the only person who would actually last about as long as Tom Cruise, but in the end will snuffeth...and might even die a decently noble death.
Special Guest Star "Dubyah": The old guy in the team... and he'll perish from some technical mishap or just a stray bullet/blaster bolt/spear/falling boulder, etc....or just general incompetence.
...although, like the unexpected heroine, Ripley, I think Tom Cruise might actually be the soul survivor....to be emotionally and physically bereaved from his experience, only to be selected for a future adventure with another cast of disposable heroes. (Minaj, Barrack Obama, Taylor Swift, with One Direction as the inept, pretty boy mercenaries, and special guest star H. Ross Perot).
Again, Cruise...sole survivor. Although, as an option, Taylor Switft..or worse, one of the One Direction kids... might survive, ala Newt from ALIENS....only to hopefully meet a horrible demise at the beginning of the next adventure.
