Crusher: "We have a break room? Why didn't anyone tell me we had a break room?"
Riker: "...where the hell's Shelby...?"
Worf: "You don't know?"
Riker: "Of course I don't know. Why would I be asking if I didn't know?"
Worf: "It's just that I assumed that..."
Riker: "Assumed what...?"
Worf: "Well, with all that tension between you two, I just figured you two had sex last night."
Riker: "What? Come on! I know I've got a reputation, but give me some credit."
Worf: "...so when you said you wanted to flog her..."
Riker: "I was being literal! I mean, non-sexual!"
O'Brien: "...can I go back to being alone and bored, please?"
Data: "It is made of 'Insert Material of the Week Hereium.'"
K'Ehlyer: "Mother was right about you. Being with you would be the end of me. And anyone else you date."
Worf: "Wasn't your mother arrested for fraud while doing fortune telling?"
K'Ehyler: "Yes, but occasionally she was right!"
Admittedly, Picard only enjoyed the books because it gave him license to say "private dick" around the house as a child.
