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DS9 Caption Contest 118: Houston, We've Had A Problem Here

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Jake: "Dad, why'd you shoot me?"

Sisko: "Jake, I read header on your script: 'Code of Honor: Part 2'."

Jake: "Well, it actually isn't that bad an epis--"

SISKO FIRES AGAIN.
 
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Keiko: "Miles, what's this?"

Miles: "That? Oh, honey it's an iPadd. It's the technological advancement of the 24th century. You see, computers used to be big boxy things with thick monitors. Then they got smaller and had flatscreens. Then the towers disappeared and were merged with the new thin screens. Then they invented the iPad. But it was too small, so they increased the size. But then that was too small so they increased the size again. Then people wanted buttons again, so they added mroe buttonjs which necessaitated it being bigger. Then they wanted a base to put it on, so they added a base. Then they wanted the processing and speed capabilities triple quantum neural processors gave, so they made it thicket and named it an iPadd. It's the wave of the future; completely replaced the old computer tower thing."
 
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Hudson (offscreen): That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over, what the fuck are we supposed to now, huh, what are we gonna do?

Nog: I'm not THAT kind of alien.
 
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Nog: "What's the best way to ambush the enemy?"

O'Brien: "You stand in the middle of the room, and turn your light to it's brightest setting. The rest of us will get behind these consoles and keep our lights off."

Nog: "That sounds ... hey wait a minute."
 
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Sid: Help me out, Nana, what is that big bright light?
Nana: Didn't you read the script?
Sid: I couldn't find it.
Nana: It's been sitting on the kitchen table for a week. You need to get more serious, Sid.
Sid: So, what's going on?
Nana: The digital alter-ego of Dukat is trying to blow up the station, and you are supposed to use your genetically-enhanced intellect to stop it.
Sid: What does that mean, genetically enhanced?
 
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Bashir: Bashir to O'Brien, emergency!
O'Brien: What is it?
Bashir: We have a blown bulb!
O'Brien: Fergod's sake, Julian, I'm repairing the shields!
 
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Nog: Commence Ensign's Log. I am about to embark on Operation Retrieve Kukalaka. I expect little resistance from a lightly-clothed Leeta. But I'll be ready to tangle. It will be sexy. And I can handle it. I think I can handle it. ... Computer, erase that entire log.
 
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Disembodied Voice: Step into the light, my children.
Kira: By the prophets! Should we do it?
Bashir: No! Didn't you see "Coda"?

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Nog (thinking): What was that noise!? Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! I knew I shouldn't have watched Aliens last night!

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By the twenty-fourth century, Facebook just followed everyone with cameras every minute of the day.
 
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Keiko: That's funny, Miles never asks for a second cup at home!
Emissary of the Prophets:
LaFolger's Dilithium Crystals Coffee - for those moments when you think she isn't there.
 
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KIRA: And just where and when have you take me this time, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Hmm? Oh yes. Lets see. 84th century. Micro sun of the Dolby? Not very interesting. Maybe there is a ship around here. The TARDIS rarely takes me someplace I'm not needed anymore.
 
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KIRA: And just where and when have you take me this time, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Hmm? Oh yes. Lets see. 84th century. Micro sun of the Dolby? Not very interesting. Maybe there is a ship around here. The TARDIS rarely takes me someplace I'm not needed anymore.

Well he is at a doctor who event this month!
 
Oh, and TFTW, Smellincoffee! :)

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Sisko: Jake! Wake up! I'm so sorry! I swear, I thought it was a laser pointer!

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Person in foreground: Come on, everyone! I found the cloaked ladder! Let's get out of here before it's too late!
 
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Bajoran: I can't believe our ancestors used to use copper wiring and never have these massively superfluous explosions. Primitives! By the by, has anyone seen my pancreas? Please watch where you splay!
 
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Bashir: What deity is talking to Sisko now?

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Chief O'Brien, OS: Good shot, Nog! Of course, you shot me and I'm dying now, but still.

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Keiko: I just don't see what he sees in the doctor.

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Sisko: Jake-o, it's just a B+! I'm sure Mrs. O'Brien will give you an A next time.

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O'Brien, viewing footage: See, what did I tell you about Cardassian power outlets? It's a wonder I even HAVE engineering staff.
 
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QUARK: Dammit, Rom! The microwave and the toaster are on the same circuit! You can't use them at the same time!
 
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