TNG Caption This! #414: Finales

[LeadHead]

Hey there everyone! New Contest Time!

First up to the plate, we have the "I know it's your birthday, but I can't take this anymore" Award, going to:

GEORDI: When will the Saints be marching out?

Next, we have the "Specialized Software" Award, going to:

Picard: "So, there's nothing in your programming that would allow you to go to bed with me?"
Madeline: "Nope. You'd have to get a hack from the Bynars for that."

Next, we have the "Tough Questions" Award, going to:

Vash: So what do you actually DO on this ship?

Troi: I have no idea. Oh and while we're at it, what's your first name?

Vash: ... Damn you!

Next, we have the "Dangerous Enemies" Award, going to:

Geordi: Hey Worf! That bulkhead called you a PetaQ!
Ro: You should go butthead it!
Geordi: It's "headbutt."
Ro: Whatever.
Worf: Which bulkhead??

Next, we have the "Gambling with a purpose" Award, going to:

Data: "Come on, favorable outcome. The infant requires a new set of footwear."

Picard: Personal Log: She had legs like two long nacelles. Her lips were photon torpedo-red. And her hair was as golden as a phaser beam. She had a way about her which was like a tractor beam pulling me in. And all I could think was, "I've been in space too long."

VASH: Oh, I recognize you, you're the woman from Jean-Luc's sketches?
TROI: What sketches?
VASH: Jean-Luc likes to do sketches of himself with you, me, and some orange haired woman. He tells me, it's his deepest fantasy.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a salute to the Season Finales of TNG...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data: Put the phaser away, Mister Worf. I'm sure an Earth space vessel with cryo tubes can't possibly be dangerous.

Borg Collective: This is why we can't have nice things.

Locutus: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, the ratings will improve.

Gowron: Duras' last words were what?!

Worf: "You'll probably kill Gowron too."

Guinan: Did my father send you here?

Data: Seriously? You're an alien who never ages a day over centuries and you have daddy issues?

 

[Finn]

Data: Put the phaser away, Mister Worf. I'm sure an Earth space vessel with cryo tubes can't possibly be dangerous.

Worf: you never heard of the old urban legend? They said Justin Beiber went up in one of those things in the late 2010s

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: These readings. Douchebaggery levels are off the chart!

SHELBY: You know I've never noticed this before, but isn't it weird how selective phasers are about vaporizing things?

LOCUTUS: Your cat will be captivated by this little red dot for hours. Resistance is futile.

WORF: You know what the sad part is?
GOWRON: What?
WORF: This is still a better choice than humans ever have for President.

DATA: I'm a droid, and you're a noid.
GUINAN: What does that mean? That's pretty stupid.
DATA: In the 24th century it is considered hilarious.
GUINAN: Really? Then in the 24th century I might just have to use it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: He's brought out the laser pointer....

TROI: You mean...

RIKER: Yes, he's in full lecture mode!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOWRON: I can see the seams. Truly, your make up is without honor!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Gowron: "No, I am not! I am Gowron! Marty Feldman was an Earthman, and he's been dead for centuries!"
Worf: "Sorry. My mistake."
Gowron: "That's okay. I get it a lot."

 

[hux]

Worf: This is seventeenth door we've tried. If this isn't the toilet, I'm just gonna have to shit in your chest compartment
Data: But you'll ruin my phone

Shelby: I can't seem to get my phaser to fire
Crusher: I think mine is stuck
Worf: Dumb bitches

Picard: I am Keith...sorry, I mean Locutus. You will be amalgamated. I mean assimilated. Existence is futile. I mean resistance is futile
Borg: Noob

Gowron: My God, you have beautiful eyes

Data: No really, you'll win an Oscar and then have a bizarre sexual relationship with a man named Ted Danson
Guinan: Shut the fuck up
Data: I am afraid I cannot shut the fuck up. It is true

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHELBY: I give one simple order,"Shoot out the lights" and you idiots can't even get that done!

 

[shivkala]

Thanks as always for the win, Leadhead!

Data: Do you suppose we will find Captain America frozen in here?

Worf: I am hoping for Captain Kenta District, talk about an Avenger. He was said to have slain an entire city in retaliation for one of their inhabitants questioning his honor.

Shelby: Sorry boys, but I'm going to have to call it a tie again. You both are quite good at using your phasers to carve caricatures of the Captain into walls.

Riker: Acting Captain's Log--Yeah, I think I F'd up real good today...

Gowron: No one believes me, but I swear it happened! I was minding my own business, when Kruge appears and yells, "Gowron, you've got to come back with me, to the future!"

Guinan: Me? A Time Lady? Some people have too much time on their hands. Now help me find my TARDIS, so I can...oh crap, you got me, I'm a Time Lady...

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Gowron: Worf, this 21st-century television program you showed me, is truly a work of art. This "Hugh Laurie" is a man of honor!

Worf: So you enjoyed that peek at the Federation cultural database, then?

Gowron: Absolutely! Glory to you...and your "House"!!!

 

[T'Girl]

Data: "Captain, there be hobbits here."

 

[Nerys Myk]

GUINAN: This is the last time I agree to be a bridesmaid!

 

[Ithekro]

SHELBY: I give one simple order,"Shoot out the lights" and you idiots can't even get that done!

DATA: Sir, There Are Four Lights. You and the Doctor with need to hit the other two at the same time as us for us to continue to the next stage.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf: I do not think we should pitch the timeshare to them, commander.
Data: They have only threatened us with violence, lieutenant, not death. Let us press on.

Riker, watching on viewscreen: You know, they HAVE taken a level in badass. Even Crusher looks imposing.

Picard, tinny voice: Heeeeeeee-eeelp mee-eeeeeee! Heee-eeeelllllp meeeeee!

Gowron: The Federation may be weak, but its razors are commendable. I have never seen a closer shave. And no irritation?

 

[T'Girl]

Riker: "HAH, La'cutie we've shot out you little laser thingy, you're powerless.

La'cutie: "Curses, foiled again."

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Leadhead!

Data: Now remember, do not shoot until we assess the interior of this room.
Worf: Shoot and assess the interior of the room. Got it.
Data: DO NOT shoot until we have first assessed the interior of this room.
Worf: Do NOT shoot the interior of the room first. Got it.
Data: Do NOT shoot before we assess the contents of whatever is in the interior of this room.
Worf: Do NOT assess the contents while shooting unless they are in the interior of this room.
Data: Just - do not shoot at all!
Worf: Do not shoot at all the contents of this room.
Data: DO NOT SHOOT ANYTHING AT ALL EVER IN THIS ROOM.
Worf: Fine! I got it. Can we go in now?
Data: Very well.
Worf: Stun whatever is in the room, so we can shoot it later.
Data: How you ever got through the interview questions at that Klingon beauty pageant I will never know.

Shelby: "Cube Sweet Cube??" This is what I think of your cutesy needlework display!

Locutus: Guess what I'm doing right now.

Worf: If you have time check out the holoprogram "Goddess of Rixx."
Gowron: Q'Pla!

Guinan: You'd better not come in. They don't really welcome baggers in this century.
Data: Carpetbaggers?
Guinan: Douchebaggers.
Data: Ah. I am indubitably guilty as charged.
Guinan: You don't have to prove it!

 

[Finn]

Second Officer's Log: I've gotten trapped in the late 19th Century, with no way of getting back to the 24th Century. With the help of Guinan of this period, I have assumed an new identity, a Dr. Brakish Okun. I don't believe this is the past of my 24th Century but an alternate past. I'm curious to how it might turn out.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Excellent thought, Mr. Worf. We can use these mannequins as cover.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Locutus: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. And kindly do not address me as "Mr. Laser Beam".

Me: Ain't that the truth.