ENT Caption Competition #98: Unexpectable, by Nat Klingon Cole

[Nebusj]

A happy Wednesday again to all, and I'd like to present the winners of last week's Caption Competition. We're getting many fine submissions and I hope folks are having at least as much fun writing them as I have fun seeing them written.

Winning the ``But Who Doesn't Love That New-Planet Scent?'' trophy is ...

Cutler: This planet smells like wet dog.

The 2015 Nobel and Zee Magnees Peace Prize For Bridging The Gap Between Nu and Auld Trek goes to ...

YARNEK: "Welcome to Excalbia. Your concepts of good and evil are strange to us, and you will be pitted in battle to help us understand the difference between this ... RealTrek and AbramsTrek."

Winning the ``Don't Even Talk To Me Before The Third Cup Of Plomeek Coffee'' certificate from Space Biggby is ...

T'POL:I'm not really a morning person. So this better be good!

This week's Rimshot Regent is ...

Archer: "Is he going to be all right, doctor?"

Phlox: "It appears he's taken leave of his senses."

Archer: "Doctor, this is a very serious situation; perhaps jokes aren't the best thing right now."

Phlox: "You're right. Don't worry, I'll get to the root of the problem."

Archer: "Doctor! This man is a patient, a fine officer, and one of our friends, respect is in order."

Phlox: "Of course, yes."

Archer: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make like a tree and leave."

Reminding us that everybody has their silly little problems too this week is ...

PHLOX (muttering): "I'm a doctor, not an engineer I said ... now you're an engineer Commander Tucker says ... just sneak up to Emergency Manual Monitor without getting caught Captain Archer says ... switch the automatic transporter settings while Hoshi distracts scarfaced Reid, no problem he says ..."

And for the ``Your Father Can Turn This Shuttlepod Around Right Now And Go Home'' medallion this week is ..

Archer: Are we to another planet yet?

T'Pol: No, still Earth

Archer: How about now?

T'Pol: Earth

Archer: Now?

T'Pol: To me this is an alien world.

Archer: Alright!

And among the belly-laughs this week I saw:

T'POL: There is no T'Pol, only Zuul.

Trip: Worst mission ever. I can't imagine anything harder to deal with than the paranoia inducing spores that nearly killed us and had me inches from killing T'Pol. You're never gonna let me live that down are you, Subcommander?

T'Pol: As long as you don't do something ridiculous within the next week, I'll move on from this.

Six days later in sickbay...

Phlox: You're pregnant.

Trip: Oh $%&#!

And one last brilliant, devious plot:

Archer (singing): ♪♫ A whole new world ... ♫♪

T'Pol: Shh! We weren't bought by Disney! Star Wars was.

Archer: Oh, yeah. ♪♫ June is busting out all over! ♫♪

Cutler: It's September.

Archer: ♫♪ Oh, what a beautiful morning! ♪♫

Novakovich: It's afternoon, sir.

Archer: ♫♪ I love you, you love me ♪♫

T'Pol (later): Personal log, supplemental. The captain can't stop singing the Barney theme. I've had Phlox sedate him for the remainder of the mission, and I've taken command.

♪♫ I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts ♫♪

This is how the crew was destroyed by the little-known Romulan Musical Virus.

Thanks to everyone for writing captions and for reading other people's, even if I feel surprisingly alone in seeing something from the last scene of Blow-Up in that last picture. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, now on for this week's special selected pictures --- with a bonus award to go to the whoever is able to find the Sid and Marty Krofft Supershow program that I just know is lurking in this action somewhere:

Best of luck to everyone!

 

[Ithekro]

Archer: I mean who ever looked at a shower and said 'this needs to be more sonic'?

Trip: I might be a bit hazy and think you are reptilian, but you gotta nice rack ma'am.

Trip: So this is the future as we use to imagine back home. Full of long eels and metallic tight clothing.

Hold on, I'm going to shoot out the camera so we can be alone for fifteen minutes.

"Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man. The kind of man you would never disrespect.

He stood 8 foot, wore glass and he had a third nipple on the back of his neck."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Had some fun with a similar image in a an old contest

Wish I could remember the captions!

 

[Willow]

Archer: so, if this is the shower water floating around, where is the toilet water?

Trip: What's on the cocktail menu tonight?

Trip: So this is your "fertilization tank?" And exactly what species have males that can produce THESE?

Trip: Damn, forgot my tie dye uniform!

Got milk?

 

[jespah]

Thanks for the wins!

My pole dancing lessons are paying off.

This outfit comes with a tinfoil hat if you'd like me to model it for you.
- Maybe later.

We pay for our space flight with aquarium exhibits, and you?

- The Cap'n does a lil pole dancing on the side.

Didja know the portal looks like a hooha?

This is why the arm bra was invented.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Phlox: "Captain, it appears you are developing female nipples on your body."

Archer: "Female nipples? Do they work?"

Phlox: "Ah, yes, the should be fully functiona -- CAPTAIN! Please don't do that in front of me!"



(Use your imagination. Your dirty imagination...)

 

[Nerys Myk]

ALIEN: Sorry, the kids got hold of the chalk and markers again.

TRIP: Kids!?

 

[Nebusj]

The old winners and new competition are ready!