Favorite humorous dialogue exchange.

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

^That's about perfect.

I'm no fan of Into Darkness, but there is one dialogue exchange that just crackles classic Trek. i don't know why it does, but it's just so perfect.
BONES: "who is qualified to open a half-ton stick of dynamite?
SPOCK: "The admiral's daughter appeared to have interest in the torpedoes, and she is a weapons specialist. Perhaps she could be of some use."
KIRK:"What admiral's daughter?"
SPOCK: "Carol Marcus, your new science officer, who concealed her identity to board the ship."
KIRK: "When were you going to tell me that?"
SPOCK: "When it became relevant, as it just did."

I don't know, it's just so classic to me. Very sharp

 

[Phily B]

Two that that spring to mind immediately, both from DS9.

When Quark says he is going to defend his bar from the Klingons and says "WITH THIS" and shows Odo a box who responds "You're going to hit them with a box?" cracks me up every time - not to mention when he opens the box with the note from Rom.

Also when they're training in Magnificent Ferengi and one of them kills Moogie and says he did it because he saw they were going to lose so decided to put her out of her misery.

 

[golddragon71]

From Time For Yesterday:
Kirk: “Damn! I wish that once, just once, I could command a mission where everything goes perfectly. Everything. The transporter functions without a hitch...
McCoy: Amen!
Kirk:...both the warp drive and the impulse engines stay on-line for the duration nobody from Security suffers so much as a hangnail and the ship’s computer doesn’t even hiccup. Not to mention avoiding power-mad tyrants, megalomanic computers, tribbles, or, God forbid, Harry Mudd! Just once, is that too much to ask?”
Spock:Jim, there have been a number of such missions since we have served together. The time we were dispatched to contact the wave-dancers of Bellatrix V, for example. The incident with the Giant Rat of Tamuras. The deathday celebration for the Arch-Duchess sa’Gliszppkk of Rumon Alpha III. The investiture of the Neo-Pope of Ecatholos, which resulted in the peace treaty between the Ecatholans and the phlyrinigi of....
Kirk:Okay, Spock, I concede your point. There have been some. I just wish that this could be one of them. So much for the adventure of field-work.
McCoy: Rain’s turning to snow.
Kirk:I’m not surprised. And to top it all off, I think I’m catching a cold.

 

[B.J.]

Also when they're training in Magnificent Ferengi and one of them kills Moogie and says he did it because he saw they were going to lose so decided to put her out of her misery.

"You shot Moogie!"

Also, "I hate Ferengi."

 

[Iamnotspock]

Janeway: "I can tell from the expression on your face that you have bad news?"
Tuvok: "I have no expression on my face; however, you are correct."


Riker: "Data, have you got a flush or a full house?"
Data: "It will cost you fifty to make that determination, Sir."


Picard: "Mr. Worf, you need a haircut."
Worf: "Accelerated hair growth is often experienced by Klingons during jak'tahla."
Anij: "Jak'tahla?"
Picard: "Roughly translated; puberty. Although, for a Klingon, that scarcely does it justice."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I know it wasn't intended to be funny, but I still thought it was...in the science council scene in ST09, when Spock closes with a line spoken in a tone reserved for telling somebody they can go straight to hell: "Live long and prosper."

 

[Iamnotspock]

I know it wasn't intended to be funny, but I still thought it was...in the science council scene in ST09, when Spock closes with a line spoken in a tone reserved for telling somebody they can go straight to hell: "Live long and prosper."

I'm pretty sure it was intended to be funny.

He should have done the Vulcan salute backwards.

 

[Kor]

"Do you like Italian?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"I love Italian.... and so do you."

"Yes."

Kor

 

[Iamnotspock]

Worf: "A true warrior has no need to exaggerate his feats."
Kor: "You'd better hope that I exaggerate, or else when they start singing songs about this quest and come to your verse, it will be "...and Worf came along"!"

 

[Willow]

And I got a chuckle from this one last night while rewatching ENT: Babel One

Tucker: (after refilling Reed's air supply with oxygen found on the alien ship) How you holding up?

Reed: A little light-headed.

Tucker: That's nothing new.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

That bit in ENT's pilot (I think) where Reed imitates Tucker's accent was pretty funny.

 

[Captain Rob]

And I got a chuckle from this one last night while rewatching ENT: Babel One

Tucker: (after refilling Reed's air supply with oxygen found on the alien ship) How you holding up?

Reed: A little light-headed.

Tucker: That's nothing new.

I believe this was after the interesting discussion regarding T'Pol's bumm.

 

[Willow]

And I got a chuckle from this one last night while rewatching ENT: Babel One

Tucker: (after refilling Reed's air supply with oxygen found on the alien ship) How you holding up?

Reed: A little light-headed.

Tucker: That's nothing new.

I believe this was after the interesting discussion regarding T'Pol's bumm.

Yes it was I enjoyed the entire Tucker /Reed stuff aboard the Romulan vessel. From the beginning, all the way to the end when Tucker threatens to put Reed "on report".

My favorite part was when Reed sabotaged the ship and then clues Tucker in with " did you read the manual that came with that thing ?" That wasn't so much "humorous" as " enjoyable " for me.

 

[Starborn Dragon]

Worf:

SIR I PROTEST I AM NOT A MERRY MAN!

Captain Picard spouting poetry to Luwaxanna Troi when she was captured by that Ferengi.

All he was doing was following her clues.

 

[ThankYouGeneR]

Spock: [in response to Kirk pawning his antique spectacles] Excuse me, Admiral. But weren't those a birthday gift from Dr. McCoy?
Kirk: And they will be again, that's the beauty of it.

* * *

Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No -
Kirk: Yes. I love Italian. And so do you.
Spock: Yes.

* * *

Kirk: Oh, the neglected works of Jacqueline Susann. The novels of Harold Robbins...
Spock: Ah. The "Giants".

Yes!

From "Deja Q" Worfs response to what Q must do to prove he is human.
Q: Q, the miserable. Q, the desperate. What must I do to convince you people...
WORF: Die.

Yes!

Lwaxana: Mister Homn is my valet. He doesn't say much.
Geordi (mutters): How can he?

Yes!

in the science council scene in ST09, when Spock closes with a line spoken in a tone reserved for telling somebody they can go straight to hell: "Live long and prosper."

Awesome awesome awesome!

And I add:
NEELIX: Kes! Now look what she's gotten us into! I'm smart enough to go around nebulas when I encounter them.
KES: These people are natural born explorers, Neelix.
NEELIX: These people are natural born idiots. This ship is the match of any vessel within a hundred light years, and what do they do with it? Well, let's see if we can't find some space anomaly today that might rip it apart!

 

[maneth]

Worf to Odo: Why are you talking to your beverage?
Odo: It's not my beverage, it's a changeling.
(The Begotten)

 

[Iamnotspock]

Worf to Odo: Why are you talking to your beverage?
Odo: It's not my beverage, it's a changeling.
(The Begotten)

It's the way Worf then looks at his own drink that makes it for me.

McCoy: "Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever."
Spock: "Nor have you, Doctor, as your continued predilection for irrelevancy demonstrates."

****

Nog: "It's my money, Jake! If you want to bid at the auction, use your own money."
Jake: "I'm Human, I don't have any money."
Nog: "It's not my fault that your species decided to abandon currency-based economics in favor of some philosophy of self-enhancement."
Jake: "Hey, watch it. There's nothing wrong with our philosophy. We work to better ourselves and the rest of Humanity."
Nog: "What does that mean exactly?"
Jake: "It means... it means we don't need money!"
Nog: "Well, if you don't need money, then you certainly don't need mine!"

 

[lizlovestrek]

From "Operation - Annihilate!"

"McCoy: Unusual eye arrangement. I might've known he'd turn up something like that.
Kirk: What's that, doctor?
McCoy: I said, please don't tell Spock I said he was the best first officer in the fleet.
Spock: Why thank you, Dr. McCoy.
Kirk: You've been so concerned about his Vulcan eyes, Doctor, you forgot about his Vulcan ears."

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Kirk: [responds to a tapping within the wall] What's that noise?
Spock: [tapping continues] I believe it is a primitive form of communication known as morse Code.
Kirk: You're right. I'm out of practice.
[tapping]
Kirk: That's an "S".
Spock: "T".
Kirk: "A"... "N"... "D", end of word.
McCoy: "Stand".
Kirk: New word... "B"... "A"...
Spock: "C"... "K".
McCoy: "Back". "Stand back".
Kirk/Spock/McCoy: "Stand back"?
[the wall explodes]
Scotty: [on the other side of the wall] What are you standing around for? Do you not know a jailbreak when you see one?