TOS Caption Contest #294: Proper Tribute

[T'Girl]

Kirk: Mister Spock that's a snowball, the tribbles are on the table.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty (thinking): Don't look at his hair, don't look at his hair...ach, borgus frat!

Spock: "It is asking if I want to kill all humans."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Even the tribbles are spoiling the ending of The Jinx."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: This isn't Scotty! Look at that hair and that's the worst Scottish accent I've ever heard!

 

[HarryM]

KRAKO: I want those heaters now, Kirk!

SPOCK: This is the galaxy's smallest Vulcan Lyre playing...

NIMOY: Now remember, if Bill asks who the star of the show is, it's me...

DOOHAN: Hey, it's not called the Scotty Variety Hour for nothing...

KELLEY: You speak in strange whispers, friend.

NIMOY: <sigh>

SHATNER: [OC] Where's the bike, Len? <laughter>

KIRK: Scotty, if you can't fix the food-slot program for my chicken sandwich and coffee....you're fired.

SPOCK: What is the price of two tribbles--one credit? But not a single tribble can fall to the deck without your Father knowing it.

KIRK: Again, Spock?

 

[golddragon71]

Spock: You're all smiling at me...why are you all smiling at me?
Kirk: No reason Spock...No...Reason...At...All...
Uhura: (thinking) Easiest way to mess with a Vulcan...get a whole bunch of folks to smile at him all at once without saying a word.
Spock: My parents are here..

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock: Mr Scott advises it is a delicacy from Earth, beneath these coconut flakes I am promised sponge and jam.

 

[Triskelion]

Spork: Sigh. Picked last again.
Krik: Well in our defense, the game is Whack-a-Douche.

Captain Peaspock: Mister Lucas, are you free? In the future I would like to wash the dummies with jim jams on.
James T. Lucas: Err...is it all right if I keep me socks on?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Scotty...you...are my number one...guy!"

Scotty: "Was that Jack Palance or Jack Nicholson?"

Spock: "Sounded more like Jack Crap to me."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: The redshirts wish to register a complaint about the make up of the landing party.

 

[Sir Rhosis]

SPOCK: The redshirts wish to register a complaint about the make up of the landing party.

KIRK: Oh, good God, Spock! Uhura, loan the redshirts your make up kit.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Captain, before the landing party beams down to the surface, I would like to formally request a red shirt.
Kirk: But MisterSpock! Why? You can't! Be! Serious! Spock! Bones!
Spock: You constantly doing Kevin Pollack is just getting too much.

 

[Rat Boy]

Krako: "You know, as my bookie, Spock-o, you could at least pretend that I have a shot in hell of my bracket holding up."

Scotty: "Ach, these Counselor Troi captions are harder than I thought."

 

[Gary7]

Spock: Welcome back from your vacation on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, Captain.
Kirk: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Spock: Dr. McCoy, I suggest you have the Captain accompany you to sickbay for his usual treatment of STD cleansing as top priority.
Kirk: What?

Spock: You realize of course, that you have no pants on.
Norman: But they are tights.
Spock: Tights are not pants.
Kirk: Get him some trousers, and quick.

Spock: And then the rabbit said to the fox, "So when are you going to eat me?" *grinning*
Scotty: ... that's it?
McCoy: I don't get it.

Spock: They only start out this small. Once fully engorged, you'd be ashamed of yours.

Another one of Kirk's endless stories about his shore leave escapades, and Spock figured now is as good a time as any to take a nap.

Spock: My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts...
Kirk: Spock.
Spock: Yes, captain?
Kirk: You do realize that these things don't have a brain, right?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Trust me. The right 'stache and the ladies will be eating out of your hand."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

SPOCK: "Seriously, he's hung like a gerbil, all his talk is a bluff"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "Captain, this is an intervention. The red-shirted crew members fear for their safety on away missions."

Kirk: "Nonesense. Uhura wears red and she never dies. Maybe all you guys would like to wear red mini skirts, too?"

Spock: "Ah, now that you mention it..."

Kirk: "Good God. Let's keep this under our vests -- I don't want to start a trend that lasts into the 24th century."


ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS LATER...

 

[Triskelion]

I am crushing your head.

 

[Rat Boy]

Guy in Skirt: "Thanks, Obama."

Michelle and Malia Obama: "Hey, we're right here!"

 

[Drob]

It’s national headbutt-a-scotsman day!

Spock-o: Axe me again if you wants another Vulcanian nipple pinch.

Kirk: Bet you can’t chuck him into that garbage can in one.

Kirk: I said no more barber shop or A cappella over there!