Dear lord no.
I'm waiting for the four-hour, one film cut of the trilogy.
I'm waiting for the four-hour, one film cut of the trilogy.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Grade/Discuss (Spoilers)
- Thread starter DimesDan
- Start date
Sums up my take on it. The idea of a never ending stream of Middle Earth films, with their requisite increase in invented storylines and characters, makes me cold.J.R.R. Tolkien said:
With all the other high fantasy out there, much of it just as good or even better, I've had my fill of Tolkien adaptations. Mind you, I'm a huge fan of everything Arda, but there isn't exactly a dearth of material. Nearly 30 hours of film, dozens of related books, fine art, stage productions, poetry, tie in games, arguably an entire literary genre inspired by it (and their film adaptations) and more.
We'll be fine without another cow-milking, "blockbuster" movie about something which is barely covered by the 20 or so pages dedicated to it in the legendarium. I think we'll manage.
Hey, at least they toned it down from the original draft...
Thrandruil: Legolas, my son, you're part of a bigger adventure; you just don't know it yet.
Legolas: Ha?
Thrandruil: Go seek out a man named Strider - he wants to speak with you about something called The Fellowship Initiative.
Legolas: Ha?
Thrandruil: Go seek out a man named Strider - he wants to speak with you about something called The Fellowship Initiative.
Anyone else surprised not to see Serkis/Gollum get a drawing tribute? IIRC, Boromir got one in RotK, didn't he?
Yep. Largely for that reason, I now know how I'd like my ideal Hobbit fan edit to go: start with the extended AUJ, but with a trims for pacing and relevance (cut Frodo, for instance), and when we get to the end of AUJ, where the company looks out at the mountain and Bilbo says he thinks the worst is behind them, fade to black and a "eleven weeks later" title card... then fade back in with Gandalf and Bilbo journeying back to the Shire. That way, if one starts with that edit and then watches LotR, the whole Smaug confrontation becomes a noodle incident, and the only dragon you see is the firework - and this then enhances the stature of the fell beasts, because they're very dragonlike, albeit much smaller than Smaug. (Also, I don't remember if the company of dwarves are even mentioned in LotR - not counting Gimli's non-speaking pops at the Council of Elrond, of course - which shows just how disposable their whole quest is in the bigger scheme of things.)
(Maybe even make The Hobbit grayscale? That way, even if the proverbial newcomer to the series were to start with The Hobbit, LotR would still look totally spectacular in comparison.)
So, the climax of the adventure actually becomes that little scrap with the orcs on the clifftop? Hey c'mon, we were promised a DRAGON!!! I know, I know, the dragons are coming... 
In my fanedit, I would just cut the orc-fight scene out altogether (since it ends Bilbo's growth arc too early) and try to give greater emphasis to his rescue of the Dwarfs later on, as it is in the book.
Is it wrong that I spent most of The Hobbit 3 spotting scenes that could be removed without affecting the overall story? The Laektown Dwarfs just paddle and rejoin their companions, REALLY?
In my fanedit, I would just cut the orc-fight scene out altogether (since it ends Bilbo's growth arc too early) and try to give greater emphasis to his rescue of the Dwarfs later on, as it is in the book.
Is it wrong that I spent most of The Hobbit 3 spotting scenes that could be removed without affecting the overall story? The Laektown Dwarfs just paddle and rejoin their companions, REALLY?
No, with judicious editing, the climax becomes the part of the story I most care about - Bilbo finding the Ring, and taking pity on Gollum by not knifing him. That, and his introduction to Elrond/Rivendell, is all I really need from the whole quest/story (with the White Council scene at Rivendell a pretty awesome bonus).
... Also, I am not down with the Children of the Corn-eyed Leggy. At all. Looks creepy and not like the LotR character I fondly remember. Dear Pete, please don't even think about f*ing with his eyes in future LotR reissues or any shit like that.
NO
Hugs,
Gaith
Yes, he did, although he technically did appear in the film (as an illusion to Denethor during one of his mad spells).
That being said, it was a little weird he didn't appear. Maybe he'll be added in in the extended edition like Saruman and Wormtongue were for Return of the King (although that was because their scenes added back in).
Not at all wrong. I did the same thing and even made a list of the scenes I would remove.
I've always the Wargs as the fifth army (as distinct from the wolves which were ridden) but I suppose you're right, they and the bats fought on the same side.
Come to think of it, so did the Men, Dwarfs and Elves, didn't they?
Also, were the Eagles really an army? There didn't seem that many of them.
This whole "Battle Of The Five Armies" thing sounds like something made up by the minstrels who needed a stronger consonant in their ballads!
Come to think of it, so did the Men, Dwarfs and Elves, didn't they?
Also, were the Eagles really an army? There didn't seem that many of them.
This whole "Battle Of The Five Armies" thing sounds like something made up by the minstrels who needed a stronger consonant in their ballads!
I was just playing along with the "Yes", "No" posts.
The Hobbit movies pretty much killed the idea of new Tolkien films (especially from Peter Jackson) for me for a while. Maybe twenty+ years down the line someone will reboot them for a new generation.
45 is way too early to be complaining about having to go pee all the time.
There's a part of me that wonders if Jackson might not just do that very thing -- "Fans, I've heard you. I've heard your wish for a single film. And I've decided to recut the three films into a single film, for release on Blu-Ray in 2016. We're going to call it 'The Hobbit: There and Back Again.' How long will it be? No more than four hours."
Oh, it probably won't happen, except as a fan-edit. But I could see the studios thinking there's money to be made in a re-edit of the films, and why would they want to give that up?
^ Counting the years in development, Jackson has probably spent a decade of his life making the Hobbit movies, and probably had little to no studio interference doing so - a luxury very few filmmakers attain. So, why would he want to rip his own trilogy to shreds and encourage people not to watch the regular (and extended) versions? Especially when he's intimately aware of all the work so many put in to make the movies, even the scenes we general geek audiences find flabby and self-indulgent.
And no, the studio's not going to piss off one of the world's most successful filmmakers by drastically re-editing his movies even years down the road. Even apart from that, however, what if they did, and people liked the shorter version more? Then they'd only be selling one movie instead of three, even though they've paid to make all three. Studio executives are generally in the movie-making business to, you know, run a business. What the hell business sense would that make?!
And yes, there will be fan edits of the trilogy. There are already multiple fan edits of the first two parts as is.
And no, the studio's not going to piss off one of the world's most successful filmmakers by drastically re-editing his movies even years down the road. Even apart from that, however, what if they did, and people liked the shorter version more? Then they'd only be selling one movie instead of three, even though they've paid to make all three. Studio executives are generally in the movie-making business to, you know, run a business. What the hell business sense would that make?!
And yes, there will be fan edits of the trilogy. There are already multiple fan edits of the first two parts as is.
I never said "all the time", and whatever the details, you have precious little say in the matter.
Regardless of that, I've decided not to see this in the theater. My utter lack of enthusiasm to see this mess of a trilogy through has killed that. My wallet is voting for the two-film option. Good job, Peter.
See it in 3D, it looks pretty!
I just hold it. I spent the second half of Interstellar holding it in.
See it in 3D, it looks pretty!
I just hold it. I spent the second half of Interstellar holding it in.
I know movies need to squeeze in as many showings as possible, but I wish there would be some sort of intermission at long films.
^This. The Peter Jacksons of the industry make it seem like a practice that should be brought back on an as-needed basis. They could run all the stupid commercials and crap that they make you sit through before the film.