TNG Caption This! #392: The Spirit of the Season
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Vash: "What is it?"
Picard: "No idea, but some person called Star Lord was asking around about it."
Vash: "Who?"
Star Lord: "Star-Lord, man! The legendary outlaw? Guys?"
Picard: How is this the 100% effective birth control you mentioned?
Vash: It's a suppository.
Picard: By jove it works! Beam me up, Reginald!
Data: Sir, here's some more crap you have to pick up off the floor every time we hit turbulence.
Picard: Oh great, that is much cooler than the Darth Vader Pilot helmet I wanted.
Riker: Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
Dude: It's quite pungent.
Boy: I don't want a toy for my birthday! I told you I want New Mommy to take up breast feeding!
New Mommy: I still get paid to babysit, right?
Worf: I hate leaving my quarters.
Data: I've told you before, sir, no skants in my holoprograms.
Kid: "Lookie! Lookie! The Easter Bunny! Wow!"
Worf: "Lt. Worf to transporter room three, increase your signal strength, I'm loosing the lock."
O'Brien (over comm): "I've got it at full intensity."
"Worf: "Pattern is degrading. I'm loosing the signal. I've lost the signal. Do you have the Easter Bunny?"
O'Brien (over comm): "Negative, lieutenant. He's not over here."
Kid: "But...!!!"
Worf: "I'm sorry. He died a most honorable death. Today was a good day to die. Excuse me, I now must perform my duties."
Vreenak, OS: It's a faaaaaaaaake!
Data: Captain, it is my understanding that you like horses.
Picard: ...thank you, Data. It is...nice.
Troi, whispering: Data, the captain likes to RIDE horses.
Data: Ah --I should have gotten a larger one?
Troi: *sigh*
Every year, Worf had to replicate his own anniversary gift and pretend it was from Kehleyr.
Spiner: Patrick, I realize you were Scrooge, too, but for the love of Marley, could you stop whispering his lines under your breath? I CAN HEAR YOU.
Picard: "I got this for you, my dear!"
Vash: "Is it real or replicated?"
Picard (pauses): "Does that really matter? I mean, especially since it's zirconium and not real diamond."
Vash: "Looks like I shaved my legs this morning for nothing."
Worf: Computer, one Hegh'bat dagger, with which I can commit ritual suicide by disemboweling myself for the quickest possible end to this unceasing ordeal of misery, carnage and inhuman struggle for survival that is our pathetic humanoid existence.
Crewman: Hello! Kids??
Worf: I mean - one Hegh'bat ritual birthday cake dagger, computer. And one bucket for the entrails. I mean candy.
Picard (off screen): "Mr. Data, that's not quite what I meant when during the exchange with Commander Tebok earlier..."
Picard: Riker told me the best way to enjoy my holiday was to get my rocks off, so I've decided to take his advice.
Data: It is lucky that I do not feel emotions as the fact Captain Horse is the latest officer to be promoted above me despite my years of Universe saving service would be most annoying.
Troi: At least I don't outrank you!
Data: Yes, that would be a wrist slitting moment.
Man: A crate of mouthwash?
Riker: Oh yes, you need it.
Boy: WORST BUNNY SUICIDE EVER!!!!!!!!!
Data: I have based my performance on the mathematically perfect mixture of Bill Murray and Kermit the Frog.
Picard: Kermit didn't play Scrooge...
Data: I am not at the Michael Caine level yet Sir, his mastery of accents is legendary.
Picard: To be honest, you're barely at the Kermit the Frog level.
[door chime]
Picard: Who's that at the door?
[Upbeat music starts]
[Data enters and runs around the room for a short time then exits]
[Upbeat music stops]
Crewman: Computer, fluffy bunnies for everyone!
Worf: Ohhh?
Crewman: Except any Klingon crew, naturally.
Worf: Awww.
VASH: "Have you finished?"
JEAN-LUC: "Nearly. It's the only answer. If he remains here with us... he will die as surely as we will."
VASH: "But why Earth? They're primitives, thousands of years behind us."
JEAN-LUC: "He will need that advantage to survive. Their atmosphere will... sustain him."
VASH: "He will defy their gravity."
JEAN-LUC: "He will look like one of them."
VASH: "He won't be one of them."
JEAN-LUC: "No. His dense molecular structure will make him strong."
VASH: "He'll be odd. Different."
JEAN-LUC: "He'll be fast. Virtually invulnerable."
VASH: "Isolated. Alone."
JEAN-LUC: "He will not be alone. He will never be alone."
Picard: It's the fabulous Baseball Diamond. Once owned by Lady Holiday.
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