In my defense, being a gay man born in the early 70s, I've lived thru decades where there was virtually no LGBT representation anywhere. Even now gay men with much of a role in anything outside Torchwood (which was over years ago, and I'd debate how gay the men on the show actually were) there still isn't much gay male representation in sci fi/genre material. Not only am I very used to having to interpret media thru a queer perspective if I want to identify with it, media, including Star Trek, encourages that kind of perspective, by doing things such as trying to pass off a story about mind melds being taboo as a gay story.
Sure, I understand the need to find representation where it isn't overtly included. I just think friendship deserves representation too, and I get tired of the kneejerk tendency to try to read
every close relationship, whether same-sex or opposite-sex, as a sexual one. For me it isn't about hetero vs. gay. There are a number of male-female relationships on TV that I'd hate to see turned romantic because they're such great friendships. The producers of
The Middleman were constantly dismayed at fans urging a romance between the Middleman and Wendy, because they'd so clearly set up MM as a surrogate father figure for Wendy, making the suggestion rather incestuous. I know that I and a lot of
Warehouse 13 fans felt offended and even betrayed by the way the final season forced Pete and Myka into a romance and thereby ruined and devalued the great, siblinglike platonic relationship they had. And I'm hoping that Ichabod and Abbie on
Sleepy Hollow don't follow the path that the "Ichabbie" shippers want from them, because they also have a great partnership and friendship and don't need anything more. Don't get me wrong, I welcome the fact that these characters do have romances with other people. The Middleman's romance with Lacey was a love for the ages, and I think it's a crime that Myka didn't up fulfilling her romantic tension with Helena Wells. But I want characters to have close, meaningful friendships too. I don't want to see every friendship turned into a love affair.
The thing is, I haven't had that much luck with romance in my life. The most cherished relationships I've had have been friendships, often with women. So when I see friendship being ignored or shoved aside in favor of sex, I see that as a failure of the media to represent something that's been an important part of my life.
So I certainly understand why you want to see your life represented by the inclusion of LGBT relationships, and I have nothing against embracing subtext where it can be embraced. I just think it's become a bit too much of a reflex in fandom to try to read
every relationship as a "ship" waiting to happen. So Garak and Bashir, sure, no problem. I can see the basis for that. But Bashir and O'Brien too? I just don't see that, any more than I see Pete and Myka as a couple. Can't Bashir have
both a romantic chemistry with one man and a platonic friendship with another? The two aren't mutually exclusive, and representation should be for everyone.