TNG Caption This! #378: Paramount Importance

[Triskelion]

Picard: Why won't he say "Help take a bite out of crime?"
Riker: You're thinking of McGruff the crime dog, sir. You didn't...?
Picard: Merde.
MacDuff: I knew the Enterprise didn't need an assistant manager in charge of fries!
Picard: Get my pirate Chief of Security up here.
Riker: ...Yar, sir?
Picard: Aye, Yar, he'll know how to fix this situation.

Wesley: Mommy, is he my daddy?
Beverly: I don't know. Did you ever pour pitchers at the Anchorage Mother Lode Roadhouse wet T shirt contest?
Riker: Winona? I mean, no, do the what now?

Admiral: PI-card?
Picard: Pi-CARD, sir.
Admiral: Pee-card?
Picard: Pi-CARD, sir.
Admiral: Pickard?
Picard: Pi-CARD, sir.
Admiral: Pi-KARD?
Picard: I don't expect you to use a French accent, sir. May I ask why you are calling, sir?
Admiral: Sakray blue, I forgot.
Picard: Oy vey, with the admirals.

Picard: Welcome aboard, young man. I'm Captain Jean Luc "Drumhead" Picard. This is my First Officer William "Pegasus" Riker, my security officer Tasha "Code of Honor" Yar. What's your name?
Wesley: Oh nicknames, cool! I'm Wesley "-
Picard: Just kidding. Shut up, Wesley.

Wesley: So, your holodeck fantasy is - He-Man?
Worf: You are mistaken. This is a Klingon warrior calisthenics program.
Wesley: So this isn't the Castle Grayskull?
Worf: No. I mean, it's gray, and it has a skull, but that is where the coincidence ends.
Wesley: But isn't that the sword of power?
Worf: It's a sword of power, sure. But I would not call it the Sword of Power.
Skeletor: Dude, just admit it so we can get to the gay sexrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!
Worf: <Slices Skeletor in two> I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR! ..........What?

 

[Mojochi]

Officer: LOOK! I've been piloting this thing for nearly 2 years, and every day I have to remind you my name isn't Crusher! Get over it pops!

Riker: Onboard the whole 5 years, you say? We'll see what we can do about that

Riker: Uh oh... Ferengi Stargazer flashback. I suppose it's better than the Borg ones

Picard: Oddly, you bear little resemblance to your father, but you do look familia-.....uh...... Anyway, I should be going. Nice to meet you

Worf: (slowly realizing) Not. A. Batleth.

 

[f14peter]

WORF: "Ahhhhhh, the perfect weapon to savagely carve the pictures of Wesley out of this thread and send them to Gre'thor! Klingon Warriors will sing great songs of this honorable feat for centuries. "

 

[f14peter]

RIKER (Thinking): "well, he looks like an annoying little know-it-all sh!tbird, but I'm sure he's a nice, respectful young man"

BEVERLY (Thinking): "oh God, Riker knows Wesley is an annoying little know-it-all sh!tbird"

 

[f14peter]

PICARD: "Captain's Log, Stardate 45493.6, it is with grave concern that I find myself in a TrekBBS caption thread shoehorned between two pictures containing Wesley Crusher. Neither Commander Data nor Chief Engineer Laforge have been able to determine how this happened, or what steps are needed to save us. This is far beyond and more diabolical than even Q is capable of."

 

[Armored Saint]

ENSIGN BONO: But I give this album to everybody in the Federation! You don't understand?
PICARD: Erase that shit from our music libraries right now!

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Oh ... I find this highly offensive. What did you say this was called, Number One ... 'Pepé Le Pew'?"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard desperately tried to keep Beverly from seeing what he had in his hands, for obvious reasons.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Then, we have an agreement here, Mister Crusher:
Your Immortal Soul - mine, for all eternity - in exchange for one night of bliss with Ensign Robin Lefler. An equitable trade, I'm sure you'll agree."

"Now, what do you say, Wesley?" "I didn't forget, mom! Thank you, Captain Jean-Lucien Picard."

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Welcome aboard, Wesley. Number One, get this boy and his sticky hands into a unitard - stat!
Riker: Have to make him an officer first, sir.
Picard: Bloody Unitard Directive!

 

[bbjeg]

Picard: Troi, sometimes I envy your unitard.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Awesome sauce Leadhead!

MacDuff: All I said was Worf could maybe borrow Geordi's visor to keep his hair out of his eyes...

Commanders personal Log: After years of sexual harassment lawsuits I have finally learnt to look at the face. And with an expression like that I'm wishing I could dare glance downwards...

Picard: That Patrick Stewart guy totally did the ice bucket challenge wrong!

Picard: Welcome to the Enterprise Mr. Crusher, a ship full of beuttiful women in tight costumes and totally committed to our 24th century ideals of free love and self expression, a haven for a 16 year old boy.

And your mother will be here watching you the entire time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be needed at the nude-love-in on deck 12.

Doctor Crusher: Time for homework Wes!

Worf: Wait, I've been using this rubbish blade all these years and now it turns out Klingons have a special super awesome sword of their own?

 

[Triskelion]

Yar: Drugs make you feel good, Wesley -
Picard: NOT NOW, YAR!

 

[Armored Saint]

Worf: Wait, I've been using this rubbish blade all these years and now it turns out Klingons have a special super awesome sword of their own?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Shut up Wesley moment #1

RIKER: You're right Doctor, "parade rest" does make me come off as stiff and unapproachable. I'll try something more casual.

WES: Maybe if you put your foot up on something and leaned in?

RIKER: Love it!!!!

 

[Hutchy01]

The people on the ground soon regretted sending the Male ensign in the Skant into the tree

 

[shivkala]

Shut up Wesley moment #1

RIKER: You're right Doctor, "parade rest" does make me come off as stiff and unapproachable. I'll try something more casual.

WES: Maybe if you put your foot up on something and leaned in?

RIKER: Love it!!!!

WES: If you love that, you'll really love my thoughts on how you should sit down!

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!

 

[Avro Arrow]

Extra behind Riker: Uh, why the hell are there *arms* in that tree?!?

So now that the contest is over.... does anyone know the story behind the tree arms? They seem too far apart to be the same person. Are they production staffers, and if so, what are they doing? Or were there actually kids playing in the tree in that scene, or something?

Just curious...