I know I should let this go.
But I'm not going to.
I don't understand anyone expressing surprise, shock, or amazement at seeing the word "fuck" on this board. I mean, perhaps if this was your very first day and very first post, the word choice of my OP might have genuinely elicited that response. But I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
A quick search, just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, came up with 200 recent instances of that word alone in less than 2 seconds. Scrolling quickly through those posts, I also found uses of, sometimes accompanied by discussion, of shit, piss, cunt, and of course, mother fucker. I didn't bother looking for damn or hell. I don' t have that kind of time.
Some of those uses came from other authors, some from readers.
I've been posting here with some regularity for five years or so. I was delighted to be christened Kirsten Mother Fucking Beyer here because while coarse, yes, the phrase when used in this manner carries with it a certain power. There aren't any other two words that when put together in this way, particularly as a "middle name" capture precisely the same sense. So much so that it is difficult to articulate all that this combination contains but at the same time, the intended meaning is instantaneously clear. As it was offered with love and respect, I accept and really cherish it. It also tickles me when I meet some of my fellow authors in public and they make a point of referring to me as "Kirsten Mother Fucking Beyer," also with love and respect.
So, to be absolutely clear, my choice to use that particular phrase in the original post was both a nod to my new middle name, which is quite dear to me, and an appropriate modifier for the noun "excerpt" in that I found the excerpt in question to be exceptionally, gobsmackingly long. For whatever reason, "mother fucking" were the first words that came to mind when I went searching for a modifier to capture my genuine surprise in the moment.
It did not occur to me that anyone would take offense, or be surprised to see me use that modifier, given the frequency with which I have seen words of similar power used here. Indeed, these days, when anyone around here fails to refer to me as Kirsten Mother Fucking Beyer, someone usually pipes in fairly quickly to remind them to use my full name. I chuckle to myself, and get on with my day. But even were this not the case, the number of times I have seen the word "fuck" or any of the others I listed above used here has left no doubt in my mind that such usages are common enough to go without comment.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with anyone expressing surprise when seeing a word they do not expect to see somewhere, nor is there anything wrong with then proceeding to make use of that word in any way they wish.
But let's be clear. I didn't let any genies out of any bottles. I did not set any precedent here. I merely continued to follow what has already been established.
What concerns me is for my choice to be singled out as inappropriate because of my gender. To call attention to my language and to indicate that the source of surprise was heightened because I am a woman strikes me as sexist. Perhaps the words would have elicited the same response had they come from a man. We'll never know now. But several subsequent posts remarking on my choices as a woman and a mother make it pretty clear that seeing a woman use coarse language, noting that it is unnecessary, in your opinion, forces me to conclude that your intention in pointing this out at all is to publically shame me for behaving in a manner you feel is inappropriate, perhaps unprofessional, or at the very least, unnecessary.
To justify your position by using your age or background and then note that anyone in disagreement should feel free to "go fuck themselves" doesn't help. In fact, it adds insult to the original injury. It suggests that you don't care to hear from anyone who might take issue with your position. Yours are the last words on the subject that need be considered.
I find your position and your continued defense of it unacceptable. I'm just not going to be able to allow the arrangement of my reproductive organs to dictate or limit the words I use on a regular basis. I will also not hesitate to discuss this sad reality with my daughter long before she has cause to read the source material for herself.
I am particularly sensitive to this as the mother of a daughter. I did not miss the insinuation that there might be something questionable in my choices as a mother, given my decision to express myself here in the same manner that many male posters do. Rest assured, I will prepare her to face much worse than careless, ignorant words. I am all too aware that this is my responsibility; an unfortunate fact this exchange has made all too clear.
I expect the conversation to go something like this:
"Yes, my love, there are people in this world who will attempt to make you doubt yourself because they are threatened by women who dare to demand parity with men in every way. They will try to belittle you. They will try to shame you. They will question your integrity and your motives. They will call you names. They will insist that you are at fault for the limits of their imagination. When you encounter such people, you have my blessing to suggest that they drink deeply from a steaming hot cup of shut the fuck up."
KMFB
