TNG Caption This! #375: Back to School

[Jonas Grumby]

Chang: "While the rest of your class have all been accepted to Starfleet Academy, I'm afraid we have determined that you four are so smug and arrogant that you would never be anything more than a source of friction and disruption in a starship crew. Please turn in your training materials to the quartermaster on your way out."
Mordock: "Whoa! Didn't see that comin'!"

 

[Finn]

Just noticed this…those are windows in the back

 

[Avro Arrow]

Chang: The Psych Test is a harrowing ordeal that will force you to confront your deepest, innermost fear. Except in your case, Mr. Crusher; our technicians weren't sure how to effectively simulate "bedwetting".

 

[Triskelion]

Chang: "Nothing but gravity increase, sir. Like the planet reached out and yanked at us."
Group: ...
Chang: Hikaru Sulu...?
Group: ...
Chang: Helmsman and Tactical Officer of the USS Enterprise A?
Group: ...
Chang: Captain James T. Kirk's Enterprise? Spock, Bones, all that?
Group: ...
Chang: Captain of the USS Excelsior?
Mordok: Was it Alf?
Chang: Yes, Mordock. It was Captain Alf of the USS Excelsior.

Jean Luc: Can you go get help?
Boy: Screw you, you condescending radish-puffer.

Teacher: Are you an adult "rascal" turned into a child through a freak spatial accident?
Alexander: No.
Teacher: An alien energy being growing up at a hyper-accelerated rate with super learning abilities?
Alexander: No.
Teacher: A dark hallucination from a tragic past?
Alexander: No.
Teacher: An avatar for a malevolent energy being?
Alexander: No, I'm a boy.
Teacher: Crap. I mean, go find a desk and don't touch my thermos.

Boy: Does it ever freak you out that with the flip of one little switch you'd be a catcher instead of a pitcher?
Data: Wait, what?

Bev: Am I still high on improvoline?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Beverly: "She seems a very bright girl."
Guinan: "'Smart,' you mean?"
Beverly: "No."

 

[Armored Saint]

GIRL: You mean you'll have your own adult quarters because you don't follow your mother?
WESLEY: Yeah! I'm also able to hack the replicator to have real booze and...
BEVERLY: Computer, freeze programme. Computer, this isn't Wesley at all!

JAY: Captain, I'm honored to help you, but why didn't you ask to Commander Riker or Lieutenant Worf to change the light bulb.
PICARD: You must have a damn low self-esteem if you think they're more competant than you.

CHANG: I always dreamed to be far from Earth to do an HR job.
T'SHANIK: Most illogical!

 

[Mojochi]

Chang: I'm sorry Mordock, but there's no smoking inside the testing facility

Picard: Now just weld the coupling to the crossbeam support and reprogram the motor relay to realign the manifold placement. I mean geez, I thought you were a science whiz

Miss Kyle: Ummmm....... So YOU'RE Alexander....... Rozhenko...... Clearly, I've made some errors in my cultural awareness curriculum

Boy: Do androids get touched in special places by their uncles?

Beverly: Not the Nanite project come on again. I will never be a grandmother

 

[Triskelion]

Wesley: Why do I smell carbonite?
Chang: No reason....

Alexander: You're not going to use painsticks on me, are you?
Teacher: I wouldn't want to disrespect your culture. Now go prepare for the Rite of the Lunch Line.

Boy: Query: "Inconsolable little twerp?"

Bev<taps com>: Crusher to Wesley, did you remember to take your Vulcan butt fungus creme? Come to sickbay and Mommy will rub it on your tushy for you.
Guinan: Forget Starfleet Academy, he's going to have to find a new spacetime continuum.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BEV: Damn, Timbuk3 was right!

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!