caption contest 42: frontin' in my ride

" 'Twas television budget CGI that killed the beast..."

 

"The breathalyzer test...AGAIN?!

Dammit, Lieutenant...I WASN'T DRINKING!!"

 

Reed: "There you go, Captain. That's the last of those pesky Sopwith Camels."

Archer: "Excellent. Now Kong will live to become First Primate and King of the Earth. History has been restored."

Reed: "I, for one, welcome our new lord and master."

 

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

 

Vosk: "All is well. I've been beefing a lot of German broads, despite the smell.

 

MC Vosk: "We got some bangin' choons right here at your local N - A - Z - I station. Check it!

Tech Guy: "You've changed, man! It used to be about the music, the devil worshipping, headbanging and heavy guitar riffs. Now you're just another rich little grey kid gone R & B..."

 

"Attention, troops! I want to nip these rumors right in the bud! There are no such things as aliens, ok? Just so we're clear on this."

 

"...and a case of Visine. STAT."

 

Reed: "Captain, why are we firing on New York?"

Archer: "Because Cleveland has already been destroyed."

Reed: "Oh, of course, that makes sense."

 

"Calling Car 54, Car 54.......Car 54 where are you?"

 

Berman: "Because it looks kewl, that's why."

 

T'Pol: (analysing scope) "We have just completely levelled the Late Show studio.

The CBS broadcasting system has now ceased..."

Enterprise's Alien Doctor is getting quite tearful.

Archer: "What's up Doc?"

Phlox: "Was that really necessary, Captain?"

Blows nose on a hankie

"Back on Denobula, a man with that kind of stamina would be hailed a public hero."

 

Reed: Direct hit.
Archer: Riding a horse in the street. Who does he think he is, Officer Napoleon?

 

Vosk: "This is a Bronx bound 5 Express train. The next stop is 138th Street-Grand Concourse. Stand clear of the closing doors, please."
Technician: <adjusts knobs> Hold on, try it again.
Vosk: "This ** * Bronx bound * Express train. The *stop is *Street-*Concourse. Stand *of *closing *, *."
Technician: <adjusts knobs> Once more.
Vosk: "This vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm. vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm. vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm vhmm ."
Technician: Perfect.

 

"Tuning in Tokyo, come in Tokyo."

.....

"Hmmm, I don't understand the significance of this phrase to the humans. No one is responding."

 

"...and the next song on our Classic One-Hit Wonders rotation?

MR. SPACEMAN by the Byrds!"

 

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. CLICK.

Vosk: "There. Finished!"

Removes top and blows stubble out.

(Grumbles)

"Try the Riker beard, you said.

Be a hit with the Ladies, you said."

Collegue: "Have you considered it might be the uniform?"

Vosk: "What's wrong with it? They all go for a guy in uniform."

 

"Today, K-Mart shoppers we have a Blue Light Special going on all Gestapo and SS uniform jackets and riding crops...and in the housewares section we have a 25% off sale on ALL potted plants!"

 

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade finally gets TOO badass for its own good...

 

Reed: "Hull plating is down to 9.11 percent!"
Sounds of the rest of the bridge crew wincing.
Reed: "...Too soon?"