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Old July 28 2009, 12:40 AM   #2259
TheGodBen
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Re: A Hater Revisits Voyager

Ashes to Ashes (*)

BALLARD: You're a sight for sore eyes, Captain. You, too, Harry.
JANEWAY: I'm sorry, but do we know you?
BALLARD: I'm Ensign Lyndsay Ballard. I was a member of your crew.
Ensign Ballard, how I missed her! She was a great character back in the early seasons, her interactions with Harry were very memorable and her death was one of the most emotional moments of the show. I remember that she and Harry were Best Friends Forever at the academy and they both ended up on Voyager so that Harry wouldn't be relying upon the friendship of a criminal like Tom Paris. Harry was in love with her all that time, of course, so that means his engagement to Libby was a sham because he was too much of a pussy to ask out the girl he really liked. But that's par for the course for our Harry.

TUVOK: This is Lieutenant Commander Tuvok.
BALLARD: Sounds like someone got promoted.
BALLARD: When we landed, we realised it was a trap set by a Hirogen hunting party.
BALLARD: The girl you were in love with died three years ago.
Word to the wise, don't let the noob write an episode where he retcons in a character, he'll mess things up.

SEVEN: I've allotted one hour for recreational activity. There's no time for irrelevant conversation.
I wonder what lesson Seven is going to learn today?

SEVEN: Fun will now commence.
Perhaps she'll learn that she needs companionship?

CHAKOTAY: Doesn't sound like there's much time for fun.
SEVEN: On the contrary, I've scheduled recreational activities.
CHAKOTAY: You can't always schedule fun, Seven. Sometimes it needs to be spontaneous.
Perhaps she'll learn to put some faith in her instincts?

SEVEN: Then grant my request. Choose a more suitable crew member to instruct them.
CHAKOTAY: Sorry, Seven. Permission denied.
Damn right! Who cares how much Seven screws up a bunch a children's lives? She needs to learn a lesson, godsdamnit!

KIM: In six years, I have never been invited to the Captain's quarters for dinner.


JANEWAY: My replicator decided to liquefy the pot roast.


REPLICATORS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

BALLARD: Why did you choose me for that away mission?
JANEWAY: Why, I suppose I thought you were best suited for the job.
BALLARD: No, I wasn't. Dilithium extraction was always Lieutenant Torres' speciality and Tuvok had far more experience conducting away missions, but you didn't send either one of them. Was it because they were closer to you?
Hot damn, this episode might just have a purpose!

JANEWAY: You blame me.
BALLARD: No, no, that's not what I meant.
Ah, bugger.

KIM: I'm crazy about you. I have been since the day we met.
BALLARD: Why didn't you ever tell me?
KIM: I was never good at public speaking, remember, but I figure, how often do you get a second chance? Which is why I'd very much like to kiss you now.
BALLARD: Own the day.
Dagnabbit, why does he get the ladies and I don't? We're both annoying, reserved, pathetic and nerdy, and I'm not that unattractive.

ICHEB: She deviated from your instructions. Aren't you going to implement a punishment protocol?
SEVEN: No. Resume your disorder.
Oh, she's going to learn the importance of fun? I totally did not see that coming.

JANEWAY: Your ship is no match for Voyager.
Q'RET: Every life is precious to my people, Captain. I won't be coming back alone.
This was an interesting race, why does the show have to go the "evil" threat route with them?

KIM: So I was giving some thought to number thirty two, make Tuvok laugh? He has this holo programme, The Temple of T'Panit. I thought we might tweak it so that instead of Vulcan prayers, the monks recite Ferengi limericks?
...
KIM:You're not laughing.
Maybe that's because you're NOT FUNNY!

Come on, what does she see in this guy?! He doesn't even have the funny thing going for him. I've got the funny thing going for me!


Minus half a star for being a TNG episode.
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Last edited by TheGodBen; July 28 2009 at 01:48 AM. Reason: spelling errors
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