I must start again with apologies. I didn't intend to leave this or any thread running unattended so long. I especially didn't intend to abandon TrekBBS for something like a month. All I can plead is that my schedule got busier than I expected, faster than I expected, and I had to pick priorities. I don't want folks around here to think I don't like them, or the fine work being done hanging out and being a fun group of people. But I did have a string of events that just ate up time and concentration. The most important of them is with our pet rabbit. He's been arthritic and we put him on medicine for that. He loves it. He's actually, literally, and without exaggeration ripped the syringe from our hands so he could get more of it. But then after a couple of weeks on this he stopped eating. This is a serious problem because a rabbit who stops eating for about two days suffers a catastrophic collapse of the bacteria environment in his digestive tract and whatever the minor problem was at the start, it's suddenly a major problem. Happily, this does seem to have been a small problem, mostly a furball. With some medication and probiotics he was back to normal. And we're even testing him on this slightly dubious-sounding laser treatment for arthritis that we don't see how it could work, but it also can't hurt, and the vet is letting us try a course for free (they're deciding whether they want an anti-arthritis laser, or whether there can be such a thing, themselves). So that's the kind of time it's been. A lot of things, maybe none of them all that serious by themselves although I'll give the stomach flu I got this past week high marks for driving me crazy. And, you know, the world of competitive pinball calls. Anyway, to get the Caption Contest back up to speed let me give you this extra-big size set and my hope to get the new one going before the Back To The Future II date. And now ... the winners! Answering the question that's haunted Enterprise fans since 2001 is ... The ``No, no, that's just Travis'' medallion goes to ... The Trophy for Started Christmas Shopping Like Four Minutes Ago goes to ... The ``Going To Be Disappointed This Week Too, Actually'' award-winner is ... Reminding us of the Burdens of The Tall this week is ... And Why Won't Netflix Be Making A Season Five, Doctor Phlox? ... Opening up the ever-exiting world of new things Jonathan Archer doesn't understand is ... My belly laugh for the week was a collaborative effort ... And the classic references for the week are ... ... and ... And ... Really, Really Trying, But Our Pet Rabbit Has Needs; (If you want to see him there's a picture of him outside, scaring the squirrels away, at https://nebushumor.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/after-our-pet-rabbit-had-a-day-outdoors/p1160988/ ) And now ... the pre-winners! Please try out these: Thank you, one and all, for your patience and kindness.
ARCHER: Of course, Porthos has to go walkies. It's perfectly natural behaviour for a dog. TRIP : But he just peed on the warp engine, and it smells. ARCHER: You're an engineer, Trip. You should be used to getting your hands dirty. TRIP : [mutters under his breath] Aaargh!!! It's that Taylor Swift song again! Get it out of my head! "No, I LIKE wearing my trenchcoat while working at my desk. Shut up." This laxative-in-the-birthday-cake joke was going to be HILARIOUS.
Glad to see you back, and I hope you're feeling better soon. Stomach flu sucks. I hope all goes well with your rabbit.
Mr. Reed: Damn, you found us! Mrs Reed: (whispering to husband) I thought you said we weren't going to tell Malcolm we moved! Reed: (thinking) I'll bet Hoshi could help me out with this Sodoku. Alien: Wow..These humans are UGLY! Reed: (to Mayweather) Now, to find the area of that crater, you take the radius squared and multiply by pi. Mayweather: Uh, what does a "square" have to do with a "circle", and does it matter what flavor pie? T'Pol: I believe this contraption is called a "selfie stick". However, I'm not certain how it got aboard Enterprise, as I believe these items were turned to scrap metal in the early 21st century. The 22nd century- and humans STILL can't take a good selfie. No candles. Because Hoshi spent hours on subspace transmissions, asking everyone about Malcolm's favorite food, but couldn't be bothered to ask his age.
Alien: "Would you like to see my weird alien slide-show collection?" Crew: "Well, not really..." Alien: "And that's whereI took a shit on a moon. I had been eating at the human food chain Chipolte and you can see the blast radius."
Archer: "My God, look at the size of it, T'Pol how big? T'Pol: "Slight over 30 centimetres. Archer: "Incredible. Uhh ... T'Pol ...? T'Pol: "12 inches Captain." Archer: "Malcolm, let's ease the magnification back a little, okay?" T'Pol: "Sensors show several dozen Humans in cryogenic freeze." Archer: "Didn't hear about casual Fridays?" Alien: "My species calls it "a mouth." Archer: "My species has a different name for that." Trip: "What's written on that hatch?" T'Pol (dryly): "The number two." .
Captain's Starlog Supplemental. Now that we've deployed the new subspace amplifier, we can resume mooching HBO GO off of our parents subscriptions. Mr. Reed: What do you mean, you are Captain of the Enterprise. Malcolm said he was in charge! Trip: I'd try to keep Porthos out of sight for now. We've been in space for 6 months and everybody is really starting to miss their pets and wondering why you got to be the only one to bring yours along. Reed: We're being hit by a sonic beam from the Led Zeppelin planet! Malcolm's sister: ...Anyway, so after that I told him to stop being such a stick in the mud and go out to big parties with his friends. I was after him for 3 days about this until he finally gave in. So I called around to find out where the next big event would be and it turned out it would be around the corner at Marci's house next week. I took him shopping, got him new clothes, new hair cut, then introduced him at the party as my sweeeeeet big brother and started showing some of his baby pictures to endear him to some of the girls there. Hoshi: (thinking) No wonder he wanted to get off of Earth. Hoshi: Are you listening to me or playing a game on the padd? Reed: Certainly not. I'm playing two different games on two different padds. Alien: You may have won here today, Captain Archer, but you will see us again! Archer: T'Pol just used Logic on me again. T'Pol: This formation is quite interesting, if I had a few hours to run scans... Archer: Testing the new cannons is more important. Mr. Reed, fire. Travis: (offscreen) I've lured you all into my trap! Get ready for those doors you're standing on to open!
MR.REED: He wet the bed until he was twelve. Slept with a nightlight on till he went to University. When did you stop breast feeding him? At ten? MRS REED: He was six, dear. HOSHI: Uh...thanks. Just need his favorite dessert.
This is not my face. It is what you would call my "butt". ♫ Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? ... ♫ T'POL: The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that there is no escape from reality. TRIP: Darn. That was a nice sing-along we had going there. _
Thanks for the wins, Nebusj! (And I hope your rabbit is doing well! ) Speaker: Mph-mph mmm zzz-mph. Archer: Hoshi, can you clean that up? Sato: No, sir, the problem is with the source. Maybe just try again? Archer: (sigh) OK. I'D LIKE EIGHTY BURGER COMBOS... Reed: (hits console) Stupid (hits console) Windows 10 (hits console) nag notes (hits console) just stop already!! I'm sorry, Carmen is out in the field right now. No, I really can't tell you where! Reed: So in this way, I can monitor my Facebook feed here, and my Twitter feed here. God, I love the twenty-second century! Archer: Are you sure you're using that correctly? Tucker: Definitely. By the way, there 's a German u-boat 100 metres off our bow. Archer, Sato and Tucker: Happy birthday! Reed (O/S): Thank you! I don't know what to... wait a minute, there's already a cut in it! Were you going to start my own birthday cake without me?!
MADELEINE:Hoshi Sato? It's so nice to meet Malcolm's girlfriend. HOSHI: Girlfriend? MADELEINE: Oh, I'm sorry, I meant fiancee. HOSHI: MALCOLM!!!!!!!
REED: [reading] "Starfleet Manual on How to Eat. Part 1, Section A: Pick up your fork." Okay, that's done. What's next? (Because he's a by-the-book kind of guy.) _