Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started seeing

[Danoz]

So, this girl I started seeing (who is in no way a science fiction fan) came up with the idea that we write a story by exchanging text messages. I though, okay, I'll bite-- but I get to write the first line. in a matter of seconds, I replied with this:

ME: It was a beautiful day to be a space pirate. Captain strongbow looked out his window to the endless galaxy and smiled at all the untapped riches in the depths of space...

HER: He longed desperately to explore and pillage this vast galaxy. Hastily, he dressed and prepared for a day of adventure. Reaching for the door to his room he was shocked to find that it the knob didn't turn. He tried again and again to no avail. Peering through the small window on the door he was happy too see lovely women dressed in all white walking up and down the hallway. He shouted to them for help but they couldn't seem to hear. He shouted louder to no avail. Finally, one of the women stopped, looked at him and smiled politely. "Don't worry, Mr. Johnson, you'll get your medicine soon."

ME: Ever since Captain Johnson Strongbow had been infected with a rare, spacebourne virus, he had been experiencing severe dementia and voluntarily admitted himself to the mental health station on planet Kronos in the Dalaxian system. Meanwhile, his doctor, alien-- though vaguely familiar, worked tirelessly for a cure.

HER: Johnson awoke from his sudden daydream yet again in a room of padded walls. He often had trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy that the rare virus had created in him. The short, and attractive young nurse handed him a pill and a cup of water. "How are you feeling Mr. Johnson?" -- "Fine. Fine. I told you, it's Captain Strongbow. I feel like going out today. I want to explore the wonders of Kronos!" he replied. "Mr. Johnson... we've talked about this. You are in Milwaukee. It's 1997. There is no Kronos."

Something about how she responded reminds me of the Riker TNG episode "Frame of Mind" or the story arch in DS9 with Sisko. She keeps trying to bring this back to an earth mental hospital. I'm still thinking about my next text... thoughts?

 

[Kibbin]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

I say roll with it, it's like those round stories whre people add a few words or a line at a time. They may work with you or add something that disrupts what you wanted to do, all you can do is work with what you've got and see where the story goes.

 

[OdoWanKenobi]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

This girl is clearly not a sci-fi fan. That could present problems in the future.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

I'm still thinking about my next text... thoughts?

Pretend the entire thing has been a holodeck simulation so far and start again from him leaving the holodeck.

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

Throw in a "third reality" where the guy sees water coming up the window and is yelling for them to get him to a lifeboat (of the USS Milwalkee?) before it's too late.

 

[O'Dib]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

Having again been transported in his mind to a planet that he deep down knew had long been abandoned by the human race, Strongbow began to realize more was at play than his viral infection. As he broke the nurse's neck, the illusion disintegrated. She was a robot. "Good thing I have cybernetic arms... bitch", he grumbled.

 

[Jadzia]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

thoughts?

She's not letting you have the story you want, because she wants to see if you're willing to do things her way.

 

[SeerSGB]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

thoughts?

She's not letting you have the story you want, because she wants to see if you're willing to do things her way.

Could be...

That could work both ways though: If he wants to set the story in a mental hospital, roll with it. Then change the story so that the attending nurses is a kinky nympho with the wet pants for nutters that think they're space captains.

 

[Holdfast]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

I liked this story better when it was that old joke about the 8th graders taking turns to write a short story in school...




Rebecca: At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Jake: Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack Squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

Rebecca: He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth-when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Jake: Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

Rebecca: This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Jake: Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Rebecca: Asshole.

Jake: Bitch.

The End

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

^^^ I wonder if anyone ever took this format of writing and turned it into an actual rom-com short story about two lovers completing such a story and playing out the twists and turns of their relationship as reflected in the way their tale plays out? (I'm sure it's been done somewhere... or one of us could write something like it if we had the imagination or the energy...)

 

[O'Dib]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

I vaguely remember that movie adaptation, I forget its name, of Dostoevsky's Gambler, and the circumstances surrounding its writing. He had less than a month to finish the book, so he hired a scribe, whom he fell in love with. Now, this might not fit, but Luke Wilson's in it, and the scribe seems to be actively helping or inspiring the writing process, because she plays a different character in each "fiction" portion of the film.

 

[Holdfast]

Re: Writing a "short story" by text msgs with a girl I just started se

^^^ I wonder if anyone ever took this format of writing and turned it into an actual rom-com short story about two lovers completing such a story and playing out the twists and turns of their relationship as reflected in the way their tale plays out? (I'm sure it's been done somewhere... or one of us could write something like it if we had the imagination or the energy...)

Well, loads of rom-coms use the basic device of argument turning into love and playing out that shift within a play-within-a-play echoing the actual romance. Mise en abyme is a device I quite like, mind you, so I'm not complaining. Not sure if it's been done with writing a novel/story, but Music & Lyrics from a few years ago partially did this with writing a song. I'm certain it's also been done in rom-coms with putting on a play that echoes the "actual" romance (Moulin Rouge springs immediately to mind) or making a film or TV show that again echoes the main theme (I just saw the Ugly Truth a couple of days ago and it partly uses this conceit, though not to its full potential).