Your son is not the only one. My nephew, the one we said could move in with us(?), said he wanted to go to Cal State here. Once he's up here, he tells us he wants to transfer to University of Delaware. Where his GF is. And then I find out that the music program he was taking before precluding him taking general ed classes (required for the first two years of college). And the courses he's taking in California may or may not be transferable to Delaware. And he has no idea how he'd pay out-of-state tuition in Delaware (not me, that's for sure!).
I've met a few intelligent young people, but are most 20yo's that damn stupid? I wasn't at that age. No, seriously. I was finishing my AA (and had most of my general ed courses but decided not to get a Bachelors then) and began working the day after I turned 21. At a job I kept for 16 yrs at pay that would be considered good even now.
Can somebody speak up for the average 20yo and show they're not all foolish?
Oh
Propita ~ I wish I could speak up for them. Son is intelligent but makes stupid decisions, which are mostly, obviously my fault!
Do we expect too much? I've given him as much advice as I can which he takes when it suits and then blames me if it doesn't go his way.
I hope your nephew works it out, Son got up late one morning for College and said 'I won't be able to get in the class if I'm over 10 mins late'
Me ~ 'I know, I'll give you a lift in this time'
Son 'How do you know that'
Me ' Cos I read the ****ing rules!'
Just buy nephew a teeshirt that says "RTFM"
Can somebody speak up for the average 20yo and show they're not all foolish?
I wish I could, but I can't. After graduating High School I skipped out on going to College and got a job at a mobile phone factory. After 3 years working there I finally decided to go to College. I enrolled in a local community college and spent the next seven years dicking around in courses that I really didn't need.
I did finally get my associates degree, but no one should spend seven years wasting their life to get it.
What are you doing now
Aldo?
Son and I have already decided if he doesn't have a specific aim then there's no point in Uni if he's not committed ~ well unless
he wants to committ to a huge loan
My mom and me are having similar conversations about my sister. She graduated from college with a BS in Theater, last may and is not yet pursuing her chosen career field. She is currently a Zumba instructor, not even trying to find work on Broadway or elsewhere. My mom is pretty much footing the bill for her, paying her rent and putting money in her banking account. My dad is about to retire and they won't be able to do this for much longer. I was all for this, if my sister was searching for things on Broadway but not doing that and not having a real job is putting a real strain on my mom and dad.
Oh
Tom, dreams and ideas are brilliant, but there does need to be a realistic reward at the end.
Old boss at my work spent 3 years at Uni and achieved a degree in textiles. She now makes bacon sandwiches and pours coffee for golfers
That's nothing. My brother in law graduated with a degree in Computer Graphics. That was 4 years ago.
What's he doing now? Working at Babies R' Us.
Not that I'm applying myself to my full potential, but then again I don't have a degree in Computer Graphics.
Surely BIL could get work with a degree in CG?
Then again, qualifications are all very well and admirable. But you still have to go and knock on doors and pester people for employment.
And as for 'full potential'
I know what you mean. I don't have a degree but I know I'm better than working in a cafe.
Have I given up hope?
This totally confused me...
A case of doing the opposite of what mum says?
Maybe
Jadzia, but what Son said was he only wanted to do one day and I backed him up on that. He wants to get his qualifications too.
For him to agree to do more days has just flummoxed me
I wouldn't worry, since he has a job at so young an age already, he will be learning how to say "no" to people in a position of power over him at a much earlier age than most of his peers. This is good practice for him. First he has to get screwed, then he'll understand why he needs to say "no" the next time. More than likely, the next call in for a "chat", he will have suffered enough and mulled over it enough to stand his ground with conviction.
I hope so
An Officer ~ Son does have to learn to stand up for himself and I am proud that he has lasted 10 months in his first proper job, with a Michellin starred chef and all
But he does tell of some horrible things that have been said to him in the kitchen ~ homophobic references etc. And the 'jesting' that non-English speaking workers don't understand.
To be honest ~ I'm torn between saying "you can't allow anyone to speak to you like that, quit now" and "it's life, it's going to happen. Make a way of dealing with it and putting them down at the same time"
That eye roll is not big enough to sum up my "What part of standing your ground did you not understand?"
