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What to do if you're the first contact with aliens

Gavin

Cadet
Newbie
If you were the first person on Earth to make first contact with aliens, how would you act? Now there is speculation that contact has been made and the masses have been lied to by their governments but for arguments sake let's continue.

Let's say you're camping or on a ranch, someplace remote enough for a spacecraft to land. Aliens land the ship in front of you and come to greet you with no visible weapons on them. What do you do? There is a guide online that explains what you can do and how to communicate with extra-terrestrials. Even though it sounds a little sarcastic, I'd have no qualms with this strategy.

http://io9.com/#!5510801/what-to-do-if-youre-the-first-human-to-ever-make-contact-with-aliens
 
Hopefully the video will include how not to crap your pants or how not to faint.

That guide assumes that the aliens stumbled onto us by accident and has absolutely no previously acquired knowledge about us. Given the guide's own assumption, "The Alien race's technology will most likely be more than 5,000 year ahead of ours." it is extremely unlikely that the alien race would make contact with us without first knowing something about us.

This wouldn't be like Columbus discovering the Native Americans. This would be like us now discovering an indigenous tribe in New Guinea and wishes to make contact. The Aliens will sure as hell study us for a while to make sure there is a reason to disturb our existence before actually showing up.

Still, becoming the spokes person for our entire race is a neat idea.
 
I've always thought this advice from The Firesign Theater was prudent:

"If you meet an alien, avoid eye contact. If there are no eyes, avoid ALL contact!"
 
If you were the first person on Earth to make first contact with aliens, how would you act? Now there is speculation that contact has been made and the masses have been lied to by their governments but for arguments sake let's continue.

Let's say you're camping or on a ranch, someplace remote enough for a spacecraft to land. Aliens land the ship in front of you and come to greet you with no visible weapons on them. What do you do? There is a guide online that explains what you can do and how to communicate with extra-terrestrials. Even though it sounds a little sarcastic, I'd have no qualms with this strategy.

http://io9.com/#!5510801/what-to-do-if-youre-the-first-human-to-ever-make-contact-with-aliens

If they've come to Earth, I expect them to be able to talk to me. Why would they just show up? And why is a remote area necessary for a spacecraft to land? (I only know that it might be a preferable location for a spacecraft to crash.)
 
So...on a planet with a very visible world-wide civilization, extensive communications networks, and easily identified centers of governments, the aliens have instead chosen to clandestinely approach little ol' nobody me at my isolated little campsite? The only advantage I can see for them in such a strategy would be not having to worry about any witnesses. Doesn't sound very promising, does it. :D
 
Given how my allergies are acting up right now, I'd just hope I wouldn't sneeze on them!
 
I already met aliens last week while I was camping. They were speaking in perfect English, said something about their wopcore failing, and asked to use my Android phone to construct something, I think they called it a "subspice transeiver". They told me not to tell anybody about them, it was their directive or something.
 
If you were the first person on Earth to make first contact with aliens
Well, they couldn't choose better.

But I don't do camping. If they want to meet me, they need to ask me out for dinner.



On second thought, I am choosing the place. You never know...
 
While I would love the idea that in someway I am special enough(if they are peaceful and don't want some kenny meat) to be the first contact. I would have to ask myself why me, then I would ask if they simply need help, or are they setting up camp on my land? I have heard tons of that conspiracy alien contact stuff. I even watch UFO files and anceit aliens to amuse me at times, the most interesting was the computer code that some guy got by touching the hull of some UFO and when translated said contact with Earth, mission go ahead or something like that. their technology though would be far more advanced than ours and I believe it would be more than 5,000 years.
 
This idea that for an alien race to come by FTL technology in the first place, they would have to have developed it over a period so long that they would by virtue of having developed it, be much more advanced than us... but there's always the possibility that at least one alien race out there came by FTL technology by some means other than the long, hard, technological solo road, right?

There a number of conceivable scenarios that would allow an alien race to come by the ability to travel to other star systems in a faster manner than we're developing it. There could be two civilizations in one star system that make contact with one another and interact... possibly pairing or combining their efforts... (or destroying each other); there could be a legitimate crash landing of an alien ship from which a race makes an asymptotic leap forward in aeronautics technology; there could be a simple first contact incident in which some OTHER race who it DID take 10,000 years to figure out simply hands it to them at a pre-warp level of advancement; there could be some freak intellectual mutation that allows them to develop it far ahead of its time commensurate with their average level of development.

Some would argue that the last case isn't all that dissimilar to the circumstances around Einstein's development of relativity; Newton's Laws of Motion; or even Maxwell's work. There were others beginning to tread on the same ground in some cases, but generally some of their most profound suppositions were paradigmatically different than the mainstream trends of their respective fields. I guess all I'm trying to say is that their work represented "leaps" forward, not incremental steps.
 
1) tell them I'm not into butt play.
2) offer to take them to my leader.
3) take them to the nearest politician.
4) tell them that my leader is REALLY into butt play. Possibly offer them a pointy stick.
 
See if they would answer my questions. Why in the wild universe would they want to come here? Do they have tomorrow's lottery numbers? etc...
 
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