what do you think about this idea?

[Brainsucker]

Tltle : Paradize Prime; Based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

It is a story about a newly established colony called : Paradize Prime. Well, I don't put the word "Star Trek" in the title because there is no "Trek" here. But, I put "based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry because it lies in Star Trek TNG universe.

The story is about the colonists Paradize Prime. It is a kind of semi drama - scifi - action genre. Where the story will telling about the families in the planets and the danger they must faced in the planet (well, just like facing alien, etc) but, it's not just about the colony alone. the story will tell about a frighter that bring things in or out the colony, a small space station that orbiting the planet, and a destroyer type starship that ordered to protect the star system.

Characters :

1. Administrator A : he / she will be the leader of the colony. He lived in the colony centre with his family.

2. Administrator A wife / husband : he / she will be the colony doctor.

3. Administrator A teeneger son / daughter : he / she will attend school in the colony. Interest with some subject, but has problem with teeneger love and friendships with other kids.

4. Frighter captain : he / she will be the frighter captain that bring in or out things in Paradize Prime.

5. Frighter spouse : he / she usually stay in the space station as operator / engineer.

6. Frighter captain son / daughter : live in the planet, just act like abandon kid who had his / her parents. Character number 3 's friend / rival

7. Starship captain : he / she is the commander of the only starship that capable to protect the system.

8. starship captain son / daughter : well, to make the story more lively. character number 3 's friend / rival.

9. other guys : to make the story more interesing

What do you think???

 

[hellsgate]

Type it up & email it to me for the next round of updates to the anthology. (see link in my sig-line.)

trekwriter31@yahoo.ca

 

[Brainsucker]

@Hellsgate : Hei, I'm not a writer; at least not a writer who can write in english. If you want, you can write it in you fanfic website.

By the way, I have visit your sites and read Baptism of fire and Archangel. It's pity that the part 3 is missing. I can't download it via my comp.

 

[DonIago]

I'd be curious to hear more on how this is part of the Trek universe. The information you've provided so far doesn't really include any elements that are specifically Trek.

 

[Brainsucker]

I'd be curious to hear more on how this is part of the Trek universe. The information you've provided so far doesn't really include any elements that are specifically Trek.

well, there are may thing that can be connected my idea with Trek Universe. Like Paradize Prime is belong to Federation, using Star Trek known technology, using Star Trek Ship design, etc, etc, etc

Because there is no "Trek" here, the I just put "Paradize Prime" as the title, not "Star Trek : Paradize Prime". But because it lies in Star Trek Universe, then I put : Based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry to it.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Sounds very very similar TO THIS.

 

[hellsgate]

Brainsucker: I'll give it a shot in Microsoft Word.

Which era / time period is your story set in? TMP? TOS? TNG? VOY? Post-"Star Trek: Nemesis"? Close to which side of the Federation? The side closest to the Klingons? The side closest to The Romulans? Close to the Bajorans & Cardassians?

What's your e-mail address, (so I can e-mail you a copy of your idea done from my perspective.)

 

[Temis the Vorta]

We need more shows about space colonies but that doesn't really sound like it needs to be placed under the Star Trek label. AMC is working on Red Mars and hopefully skiffy will come thru with Revolution (and it's doing Caprica as well). I'd prefer your idea as a non-Trek series unless you add a significant Starfleet component. Or maybe you can follow up the idea behind The Trouble With Tribbles and have the colony on a disputed world. That would bring Starfleet into the mix in a natural way.

 

[hellsgate]

I agree with Temis. Starfleet's supervising "Paradise Prime" as a prospective new Reman homeworld, during negotiations in Riker & Troi's "Titan" era with the Romulans. But things, of course, hit a snag.

 

[Dayton3]

In practice "semi-drama" means "no drama".

 

[hellsgate]

"Earth 2" meets "Star Trek: DS9 (Relaunch-Era)"

I could see myself trying something like that in Microsoft Word. My email is trekwriter31@yahoo.ca

 

[Brainsucker]

sorry for my long absence. I have a lot of to do in my real life daysmy email address is : Liu_Yuwen2007@yahoo.co.id

@tachyon_shield : Yes, I know about it. I just want to add colour to Star Trek Universe.Just thinking. We know about ENT, TOS, TNG, DS9, VOG, and NEM era. But they just told about one thing. It is the story of one ship and her crews. What I want from Paradise One is an on going story that begin from a new colony that established by Federation.Just look at this plot (it just my idea though)

1. Federation establish a colony called Paradise Prime
2. They begin to trade with other colonies (this is where frighter crews come to screen)
3. they are realize that they are not alone in the planet
4. Team investigation formed, they found new artefact from a species that they never seen before.
5. Pirates come. The colony need protection.
6. Starfleet send one starship to protect the colony.
7. It is known that the species was come again. Paradise prime value become sky rocketed. Space Station is granted.
8. Some natural disaster come. The whole star system transported to unknown dimension. Now, they are cut off from the Federation
9. the species who have the artefact come to destroy the colony
10. etc etc etc

@Hellsgate : It just up to you. I just have an idea. If you like it and want to make it as your fanfic, just put your personal taste into it. And well, forget all the statement i put into this post. Freedom of Creativity is all what you need.

 

[hellsgate]

I'm thinking the Hur'q, as a Vulcan science expedition has already found evidence of their existence in the Gamma Quadrant. They're pissed that we've found an outpost with possible technology that could fall into the wrong hands. An artifact that could give the Federation a far too easy understanding of their culture, timing, technology & how to circumvent all of the above. In addition, allow the A.Q. Alliance, The Borg, The Dominion & other past adversaries exact explanations about how they've been able to stay out of sight all this time and how to force the Hur'q out of hiding and possibly even contain future expansionism, or allow past species (such as The Klingon Empire) they'd subjugated, to finally get retribution.

 

[Balthier the Great]

Tltle : Paradize Prime; Based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

It is a story about a newly established colony called : Paradize Prime. Well, I don't put the word "Star Trek" in the title because there is no "Trek" here. But, I put "based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry because it lies in Star Trek TNG universe.

The story is about the colonists Paradize Prime. It is a kind of semi drama - scifi - action genre. Where the story will telling about the families in the planets and the danger they must faced in the planet (well, just like facing alien, etc) but, it's not just about the colony alone. the story will tell about a frighter that bring things in or out the colony, a small space station that orbiting the planet, and a destroyer type starship that ordered to protect the star system.

Characters :

1. Administrator A : he / she will be the leader of the colony. He lived in the colony centre with his family.

2. Administrator A wife / husband : he / she will be the colony doctor.

3. Administrator A teeneger son / daughter : he / she will attend school in the colony. Interest with some subject, but has problem with teeneger love and friendships with other kids.

4. Frighter captain : he / she will be the frighter captain that bring in or out things in Paradize Prime.

5. Frighter spouse : he / she usually stay in the space station as operator / engineer.

6. Frighter captain son / daughter : live in the planet, just act like abandon kid who had his / her parents. Character number 3 's friend / rival

7. Starship captain : he / she is the commander of the only starship that capable to protect the system.

8. starship captain son / daughter : well, to make the story more lively. character number 3 's friend / rival.

9. other guys : to make the story more interesing

What do you think???

First off, not in love with the name of the planet/colony.
And secondly, I don't really know what you can do with a colony that hasn't already been done with DS9 or B5. There are only so many "world wars start near a backwater station/ colony" stories that can be told. I think this would be DS9 lite. And having the kids around sounds like a Star Trek: 90210 thing. You know, they're all loving and hating each other while going through Starfleet High and cheating on algebra homework. I'm just not digging it.

 

[hellsgate]

Well, Balthier, its not about you digging it. A scarcely livable planet with a name like "Paradise Prime". Think "Earth 2" meets "Star Trek: DS9", in the "Star Trek: Titan" era. 90210, or not, I'd like to see how the author manages to flesh out the story.

A set of freighter & starship families & crew, that somehow sets-up shop on a barely probe-scanned world without succumbing to local parasites, viruses or pollen with mind-altering properties.

A life-supporting world without sentient bipedal species like us? Its sounds too good to be true.

And mystery lovers like me (I love Sue Grafton,) love trying to figure out if we're about to step in something foul. Was this planet a weapons testing ground or a hunting ground for a species like The Hirogen? Was it abandoned? Is this world a prison or a nursery for another species off-spring?

 

[DonIago]

Given that I believe the OP was soliciting feedback, it would seem a bit hypocritical to then dismiss their feedback by saying "its [sic] not about you digging it."

I take issue with the original name of "Paradize Prime" as well, due largely to the z. It comes off as an attempt to be kewl, IMNSHO.

 

[adamczar]

I take issue with the original name of "Paradize Prime" as well, due largely to the z. It comes off as an attempt to be kewl, IMNSHO.

I thought it was a language/translation thing. The OP said English wasn't his first.

 

[DonIago]

Ah. My apologies if that's the case.

 

[Brainsucker]

oh forgive me if I did something that impolite in your culture. Just like Adamzcar said, I'm not an English Native Speaker, and my English is a bit rusty. That's why sometimes I can't express my mind with correct English manner. But well, I learn.

@Balthier the Great :

Yeah, I know what you mean. There are a lot of war that started from a backwater Station / colony. It's just recreate what we have watched in DS9 and Babylon 5. But..., well. my idea is not entirely about war although it's exciting to see "war" in stories.

This idea still rough. it needs lots of thing to be ready for a story. I'm not capable to explore this idea futher because my knowledge in Star Trek is not better than you (or maybe even worst). But someone, maybe... someone who know Star Trek better can digging this idea into one solid idea that make this idea solid.

well, honestly, this idea come from "baptism of fire" one of Star Trek Fanfic that I have read online, and Paradise Prime is no other than Eden Prime that I read in that story

 

[adamczar]

oh forgive me if I did something that impolite in your culture. Just like Adamzcar said, I'm not an English Native Speaker, and my English is a bit rusty. That's why sometimes I can't express my mind with correct English manner. But well, I learn.

I didn't see anything impolite. While your English is not perfect, I can definitely understand what you're trying to say so don't worry about it. I'm enjoying your ideas, too.