Wedding Mishaps

[DanTheGrey]

The two that jump out of my memories are...

The bride who was so drunk (and naturally a bit clumsy) who cut her hand on the cake knife and didn't realize it until she bled on the cake and her dress.

The one where the grandparents gave one of the 8 yr old flower girls a glass of red wine and were laughing at her stumbling/flailing around the dancefloor...until she puked all over it. They were drunk enough they were laughing uproariously when the girl's mother came over to give her parents supreme crap for what happened as the calls for a wet mop cleanup went out.

 

[trampledamage]

Makes me glad there were six people in total at my wedding, including me and mr trampledamage.

 

[SmoothieX]

I think we had all of 18 ourselves, including us.

 

[B.J.]

A friend of mine was a very religious Roman Catholic, and even though his fiancee was not, they were getting married at the church his parents attended. The pastor gave them a rough time with the wedding preparations, even refusing to perform a full Mass for them because the bride-to-be hadn't had all her sacraments. In the end, my dad, who was training to become a deacon, took the priest aside and had a word with him about Catholic charity.

I had some issues with the first priest I approached when I was about to get married. He was the on-campus priest at the time, and my wife was then a member of the Church of Christ. I wanted to make everything "right" with the Catholic Church, but he wouldn't hear it because he hadn't seen me at mass, and said there was no way to marry outside the Catholic church. That really infuriated me, since I'd been going to my parents' church plus some CoC services with my wife, and I knew of plenty of mixed religion marriages. I ended up going to my parents' priest, who just said we had to go through a class and a few other details, and we were good! We even had a "compromise" service, which for us was a Baptist wedding. (My wife has since converted to Catholicism.)

 

[Guartho]

Not nearly as gasp-inducing as yours, but I do have a funny one. I was the videographer for my ex-girlfriend's wedding. We're talking by far the longest relationship outside of my current marriage ex-girlfriend here.

It was a high school (and some college) relationship though and we did a lot of stupid HS crap to each other. It was an ugly breakup, but by this time we were both well past that. But the photographer's wife had also gone to school with both of us and knew both of us. She must have asked me four different times leading up to the wedding if I thought it was going to be awkward etc.

So, after being all concerned about me on the wedding day, she called my ex's groom by my first name while posing them for pictures! We all had a great laugh at her expense.

 

[SicOne]

At the time of my marriage, 19 years ago, my dad (actually my stepfather) was on wife #3, my mom was on husband #3 (each was each other's second marriage), and my biofather (who was never much of a factor in my life, and was uninvited but came anyway) were in attendance. My in-laws hadn't had a divorce in their family, ever.

The official receiving line consisted of my wife, myself, my new mother- and father-in-law, my mom and her husband #3 (a swell guy), my dad, his wife #3 (a beloved stepmother)...and, unbeknownst to me until later, my drunken biofather had inserted himself into the receiving line, and introduced himself to astonished guests as "the groom's real dad".

To say I was mortified by this was an understatement.

 

[Aurian]

Well, when one of my best friends got married last year, it was a gloriously well rehearsed and planned event. Lovely food, lovely church, great partyplace. And.. no serving and clean up staff. They had misunderstood the caterers if this was included or not... This they found out while the champagnetoast had just been made..

There was a little under 100 guests, so this was no little matter at all.. ontop of that the grooms father was a bit tipsy and was feeling up the ladies in the room whenever he happened to stand. Adding quite a bit of drama to the whole shabang.

So, me and my girlfriends (one being the bridesmade) deemed ourselves as "closest kin" and relieved the "mothers of the bride and groom" of duty and took care of things. We served food and cleaned the dishes (thank god for the 4 minute-dishwasher) in our best party outfits and took care of things. All of us taking turns to enjoy the discodancing and cake etc in turn. Quite a mishap, but it is a good memory to all of us because it allowed us to show how much we care about C and her family, and just a general "we did a good thing".

 

[Thena]

Lovely food, lovely church, great partyplace. And.. no serving and clean up staff. They had misunderstood the caterers if this was included or not...

^Oh no!

I've seen the opposite happen. At a wedding I attended last summer, the wait staff was a little too efficient. I had just gotten a fresh drink and had two sips when my girlfriends dragged me onto the dance floor with them. When the song was over, I came back to the table to find that my barely-touched drink had been cleared away. And better yet, when I went to the bar to get another one, they had already shut down.

The groom's sister hadn't gotten to eat her wedding cake when they called for the bouquet toss. She joined everyone, went back to her seat and discovered that they'd cleared away her untouched cake. She asked for another and told that there was no more cake left.

I had brunch with the groom's parents the next day and they were furious about all the reports they were getting about the wait staff. They'd also paid extra for premium liquor at the bar and only learned the next morning that the wait staff told guests that there was only wine and sangria.

 

[Kronos]

Makes me glad there were six people in total at my wedding, including me and mr trampledamage.

That's the way to go, Me and MrsK had 3 others plus us. We told nobody until it was done.

Oh I wish I could have recorded all of the "You did WHAT?"

 

[Bloodwhiner]

At my wedding half the attendees spoke only English (my family) and the other half only Spanish (my wife's family - though really spoke Cuban with is a difficult dialect of Spanish)

Knowing this could create some difficulties we brought a translator in to assist. She was fluent - in Castillian Spanish. That is like an Oxford grad being told to understand a Brooklyn accent.

So the translator hears the first Cuban go off on a long spiel, turns pale nd hides in the kitchen for the rest of the wedding.

 

[Green Shirt]

Anyone ever been to a wedding where things went haywire?

Other than the fact that I shoulda ran like hell at my wedding when my wife-to-be entered the chapel, no-not really.

 

[Shatmandu]

Well, when one of my best friends got married last year, it was a gloriously well rehearsed and planned event. Lovely food, lovely church, great partyplace. And.. no serving and clean up staff. They had misunderstood the caterers if this was included or not...

Made me think of a similar one.

Our friends got married in their own back yard and planned on doing everything themselves: food, music, decorations. For 75 people. Pretty fucking stupid.

My wife and I knew they were going to be overwhelmed, so got there way early and started pitching in, eventually helping serve food, keeping soft drinks and beer flowing and cold, etc.

I noticed that no one from either family thought to help, but I didn't care.

Eventually, we started clearing tables of trash, etc. The groom's sister, a local judge/bitch, came up to me pissed off, shouting, "That trash can over there is overflowing! I just cannot understand why one of you people haven't taken it out!"

I smiled and said, "The cans are down the steps and to the right; how 'bout you yank it out of here and take it out yourself, lady? Make sure you don't trip and hurt yourself, now."

She huffed and puffed, ran over to the groom, and told him what I had said, apparently hoping to get me fired. I couldn't hear, but he explained that we were guests, too, and just helping.

He later thanked me for sticking it in her ass, so to speak.

Joe, ass-sticker