Voyager Caption Thread #182 How much woody could Chakotay chuck if Chakotay could chuck wood?

Thanks for your patience.

The "I'm not Picard!" award goes to Laura Cynthia Chambers

Janeway: "That Picard thinks he's so great. Well, I can be smug like that, too. 'Hey, I'm Jean-Luc Picard and I'm so awesome everybody else should agree with me or just shut up.'"
Picard (offscreen on comms): "Or try saying, quote, computer, end transmission, unquote."
Janeway: "That too..."

I picked two winners for the old photo of Mulgrew's...

The "Thank goodness we were saved from Murder, She Wrote references for seven years" Award goes to Bry_Sinclair
The moment the two candidates to take over from Geneviéve Bujold waited to hear who'd gotten the part.

The "TATVification of Murder, She Wrote" award goes to Leviathan

Janeway: Computer freeze program. This holonovel is terrible, we saw the killer in the opening scene...now I'm just being annoying asking questions. Toss the entire series into that space-time vortex we just passed.

The "Spiteful much?" award goes to A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees



Mulgrew: This costume is so uncomfortable. Note to self: Don't go to war against the producer's girlfriend.



The "The Indiana native doesn't give a crap..." award goes to Kick the Can
Chakotay: My people have a saying....
Janeway: I'm lovin' it?
Chakotay: No....
Janeway: A mind is a terrible thing to waste?
Chakotay: No....
Janeway: Between love and madness lies obsession?
Chakotay: No....Look, why don't you let me finish my own thought.
Janeway: Let your fingers do the walking?
Chakotay: No....
Janeway: When you care enough to send the very best?
Chakotay: No....
Janeway: Have you figured out I don't give a rat's ass?
Chakotay: No.... Oh.


The "Don't mess with the Bun" award goes to JirinPanthosa



JANEWAY: I know you were the one who stole my coffee. Now we're going to spend some alone time.


Congratulations to all! Now, it's Chakotay's turn!








Please pin this thread, @Akiraprise Thank you

 

Chakotay: There's a Charmander around the corner!




Beltran: This is it! That's how not to be wooden, by looking in the opposite direction than the star...to show some kind of suspense or...whatever.




Tuvok wasn't thrilled when his spirit guide turned out to be Neelix....




Beltran: *mutters*

Brannon: Cut! What's going on? Why are you overacting today?




Jeri Taylor: (OS) Perhaps too much....

 

TUVOK: My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.... I got nothing.

 

The Tuvok/Chakotay romantic sub-plot didn't last long but it was memorable!

 

Beltran: I've tried everything else. Maybe the scripts will improve while I'm not looking?



Beltran: My people have a saying... Crap! I can't read my own writing!

Mulgrew: A REAL thespian memorizes their lines, my friend.



When I told them I was sick of wearing that damn tattoo, this isn't what I had in mind...

 

CHAKOTAY: Brace yourself. The 'wooden' jokes are coming.



TUVOK: I found this axehead among Seska's possessions.
CHAKOTAY: My god...she was planning to cut me down!



CHAKOTAY: I'll get my chance. I'm Captain in every future where you die.
JANEWAY: Somebody make sure to reset the timeline every time I die.



TUVOK: I'm actually a Vulcan AND a Vampire.
CHAKOTAY: Do your worst. The blood in my body hasn't moved in years.



BELTRAN: ...Find me a stagehand to take copious notes.
BERMAN: Why?
BELTRAN: For the deposition in the racism lawsuit.

 

Chakotay: I've found out your secret, Captain. I know why you never run out of coffee and why you never have to wait to use the holodeck for your insipid 19th century holonovels. You've been turning a blind eye to Tom's illicit betting pools and getting kickbacks!

Janeway: So? Nobody ever claimed that capitalism isn't alive and well in this series!

 

Tuvok: My thoughts to your thoughts ... a cuchi cuchi? Is you spirit guide Charo?

 

The title of this thread alone deserves an award!

 

Chakotay: Thanks for beating the boss for me, I'll take it from here.





Chakotay: Captain, a shuttle just crashed!

Janeway: Impossible, you're right here.



Tuvok: My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your... Fascinating. I should warn Seven of Nine.

 

Janeway: Good god Neelix, don't you ever clean your ears?

 

Even though they were on the Paramount lot, both looked around anxiously to make sure Harvey Weinstein wasn't nearby.....

 

T4TW and the new contests The Orange Monster! Good luck!

Chakotay: According to the latest data, I'm second in line for most popular ship's officer.
Tuvok: It appears that it is in the category of "Most unlikely to be invited to a crew party". A plaudit no doubt reserved for a most ineffective Starfleet officer.
Chakotay: Well don't get too cocky. You won.
Tuvok: ................................Parties are illogical.


Janeway: Well we're facing certain annihilation at the hands of that swarm of alien ships. I'm open to suggestions.
Chakotay: Let's retreat.
Tuvok: I say we hide in the nebula.
Neelix: Why don't I just make them a nice potluck dinner of leola root casserole?
Janeway: Brilliant! We'll poison those bastards.


Tuvok: Pagh'tem'far, b'tanay. Now is a holy time.
Chakotay: Pack them for botany.
Tuvok: Pagh'tem'far, b'tanay.
Chakotay: Packers team found on ebay.
Tuvok: Pagh'tem'far, b'tanay!
Chakotay: Part time job in the airponics bay
Tuvok: PAGH'TEM'FAR B'TANAY!
Chakotay: A-KOO-CHEE-MOYA B'ELANNA!
Tuvok: ........................................... KILL YOURSELF.
Chakotay: KILL TAL CELES
Tuvok: Meh, I'll take it.


Chakotay: I went from Captain to First Officer. Kirk went from Admiral to Captain. I must be as good as Captain Kirk.
Janeway: ........
Chakotay: On the other hand, I'm so stoic I must be the logical Spock in our command structure.
Janeway: ........
Chakotay: But then, I'm your Number One. So that makes me a Riker figure, while you stay aboard the ship and take no risks.
Janeway: ........
Chakotay: I am literally Kirk, Spock and Riker all wrapped up in one. I must be the best officer in Starfleet!
Janeway: OK, but that logic makes Neelix Ambassador Surak.
Chakotay: More coffee, boss?


Chakotay: A-Koo-Chee-Moya.
Chief Squatting Bull: Your butt itches again? You should pick up some hemorrhoid cream.

 

Oh thank you, The Orange Monster, for this thread. I had a good laugh in the office, this morning! :-D

 

Tuvok: "Vulcan logic is superior to Human irrationality...Vulcan logic is superior to Human irrationality..."
Chakotay: "The irrational Human is wide awake."
Tuvok: ...

 

Narrator: "By the 24th century, the 'Vulcan Hello" took on a totally different meaning..."

 

First officer's log, supplemental: Note to self: strike Gideon off the list of acceptable shore leave destinations. Activities available appear to be limited to staring contests and awkward conversations...

 

TFTW!



The Vulcan mind meld does not work on wood!

 

(in honor of the excellent thread title)



Tuvok: I've done the math Commander - you could chuck 42 kilograms of wood....not counting yourself.

 

Count Chakula: "I have the reports from all the department heads, plus the monthly crew evaluation reports. In addition to the padd in my hand I'll be leaving another one hundred and seventy padds on your desk today because of course each report is in a separate padd."