Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #199 Am I interrupting?

Looks like you had some fun last round. Wonderful! Let's keep going. Almost to 200



Yes! @cutiemcwhiskers


Tom Paris never really understood Rorschach tests, but he always liked what he saw.


Not surprised. THey didn't know what horse shit was. @Nerys Myk

PARIS: I think it might be a hat.
EMH: Or a crown, you said this vehicle was a "Buick Regal", right?


damn, now i sort of want to watch this: @tenacity

Janeway: "You're leaving without saying goodbye?"
Seven: "I didn't want to hurt you."
Janeway: "You already have."


Simple yet makes me laugh award: @KatyJane


Captain, If you were using this terminal you could have just told me...





Two people for this award. AC2T and Mr. Soak.

Ryan: You’re too late, Kate. I’ve already replaced Jennifer!! Muhahaha!!!

To Mr. Soak


Seven: Actually, captain, the urinal was installed further back.




Collaboration award: @Orac and @imcheadquarters


CHAKOTAY: May we have some of your stem cells? Our captain and chief helmsman are in a warp ten pickle...



@cutiemcwhiskers




This round:

 

Janeway : Ah, Ayala. It’s nice to see a regular face in Security.
Tuvok: Aren’t you forgetting someone?
Janeway: Relax, you’re main cast. You’re invulnerable.
Tuvok: Tell that to Tasha Yar.

 

SHIRLEY BASSEY: Gold(trigger)finger.

 

KIM: Wait, wait. Seven is not my superior officer. Did somebody tell you she was?
DOC: The Captain.
KIM: The Captain?! Seven isn't even an officer!
DOC: She didn't tell you? Seven was given a field commission of Senior Ensign.
KIM: What. Did she make up a new rank just to make her my superior?
DOC: Oh, I thought she already told you.



TUVOK: This colorful ball should give Neelix a distraction for at least a week.



SECURITY OFFICER 1: Is it really necessary to have a full time guard detail on the coffee supply room?
SECURITY OFFICER 2: SSH, she's coming!

 

Kim: Doctor, what do you mean "our 'mensies' are synching"?

 

Kim: Hairbrush. Makeup. Silky undergarments. Skintight bodysuit. Get ready Delta Quadrant for the impending arrival of Ensign Kimberly AKA One of One!

 

Janeway: Tuvok, get Chakotay in here immediately. If the crew is going to play "Cowboys and Indians" on my starship then, by God, they"ll use the right "Indians!"

 

The new type 4 jizzer rifles had an unfortunate tendency to fire prematurely.

 

Guard 1: Where'd th' cheese go?
Guard 2: I don't know!


Kim: What did you do to her?!
7: I'm alright, I just had some bad motherfucken cheese, know what I'm sayin..

 

Guard 2: So uh, I been thinkin about some shit tonight, thinkin about some shit I like to eat. I like all kinds of shit you know what I'm sayin. I like uh, I like the mozarella cheese and shit like that. I like to get the uh, you know, the uh, the pepperonis and stuff like that. Oh baby! Gimmee that pepperoni one more time, that's what I'm talkin about..

Guard 1: Shut. Up.

 

Yippie, thanks for the wins!


And now, onto this week's entries:


Tuvok: "Captain, the box read 'fill bowl with milk. But I am lactose intolerant. Nor are these Froot Loops made with fruit, but I ascertained that from the fact Neelix was incapable of spelling 'fruit' correctly on the packaging."


Janeway, always eager for a gun measuring contest, enjoyed this year's participants.

 

WOMAN: Just gather up all your stuff and get out!!!!
HARRY: Ok...wait a minute, these are my quarters!!!!

COMPUTER: Scans indicate it is Talaxian fecal matter...
TUVOK: Neelix!!!!!!

HARRY: You said she could take a punch!
EMH: You might want to run.
HARRY: Huh?
EMH: Her Borg nanoprobes should have her up and running in .06 seconds.

 

Tuvok: By the sacred temple of Mount Seleya I am thankful my wife packed me a Pon Farr ball "just in case."

 

JANEWAY: How many death threats did he receive?
TUVOK: Seventy-three. It is such a high number that I felt it prudent to assign him a security detail.
JANEWAY: Agreed. All from one batch of Red Alert Chili. Crewman Chell sure knows how to make an impression.
TUVOK: His "impression" is one which has exhausted sickbay's resources . He is requesting that Lt Torres assist him erect a containment field in the mess hall for the next batch.
JANEWAY: What do you suppose he puts in that stuff?
TUVOK: It defies analysis.

 

TUVOK: My thoughts to your thoughts. We are as one. We are joined by our unique consciousness...
CHAKOTAY: Chakotay to Tuvok - how's the mind-meld proceeding? Any impressions yet?
TUVOK: This loofah is proving to be difficult. It has placed a film around its thoughts. I am unable to Dial up a connection. There must be some Safeguard at work. Lava could not get through. It is as unyielding as Ivory.
CHAKOTAY: Keep at it. We need the coordinates it holds to safely navigate this meteor shower.

 

HARRY: Is Odo spending the night, too?

 

HARRY: Don't you know what this means? We can defeat the Borg once and for all! Just let them assimilate Chell's Red Alert Chili. It'll work! Right Seven?
SEVEN OF NINE: Resistance is....DEFLECTORS ON FULL!

 

JANEWAY: We will Supercharge every Tesla. With a phaser rifle. Should be good for the life of the vehicle.

 

Guard 2: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 

Due to a shortage of crew members, cardboard cutouts were employed whenever possible.


Ballard: "I really appreciate you helping me tidy my quarters, Harry."
Kim: "Sure, no problem."
Ballard: "Just remember to fold all the clothes before you put them in the drawers."
Kim: "Crud."