Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #162 Seventh Heaven

Lame title oh well.

Here are this round's winners



Refreshing Computer Sounds Award for ACT2



<<< Blaring music >>>
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWWWN!!!

Janeway: I knew I shouldn't have let Lt. Paris design the self-destruct warnings...


Tenacity's Terrific Taunting gets an award

Paris: YOU MISSED me!!!



Laura could defeat Harry any day

EMH: "What's he holding his breath for?"
SEVEN: "He stated his intentions to cease normal respiration until such time as I would agree to consume nutrition with him this evening. I informed him that I had no intention of doing so, but that did not dissuade him in the slightest."
EMH: "Hmm. Foolhardy and immature. How long has he been like this?"
SEVEN: "Three minutes and 47 seconds."
EMH: "Harry, she said no. Breathe already."
KIM *shakes head*: "Mmm-mm."



"haha" Award goes to Finn


Seven: I'm getting a field commission of Lt. Commander and an assignment at Starfleet command

Doc: They are going to make me a Commander and having me run the medical ward at Starbase 515....and you, Harry?

Harry:...They are sending back to the Academy for retraining.




So Much for Loyalty Award goes to: Mr. Lazerbeam (did I get the right man? LOL)


Janeway: Dammit! This is the last time I buy a Samsung Galaxy Note 5 Shuttle!

Sore Loser Janeway Award goes to Jirin



ADMIRAL JANEWAY: OWW, that hurt! Man, I am TOTALLY resetting this timeline!


Kick the can wins

Paris: I'm sorry I brought you a decaf-nonfat latte back from the planet! They screwed up your order! IT WASN'T SUBTEXT!!!




This round:

 

Thanks for the win! Kind of surprised none of the Doctor captions won, though...

 

Ensign Vulcan: I can't wait for Ponn Farr!

 

I wasn't as giving this week. I loved most of them but then there's no competition because everyone wins. I have a tendency to scan down "like that and that and that....oh I need to narrow it! *nail bites*
and before I know it I think all but one person got an award. We have some funny guys here.

 

Thanks for the win, but DAMN! I missed a typo




Tom: Do you think she heard us?

 

7 of 9: "And this one, this one, this one and this one, and that one over there. And, and most importantly -- this one."

Naomi: "What's that one?"

7 of 9: "The straw."





7 of 9: "This conga line is inadequate."

 

Naomi: Seven, why do all of your Borg romance novels have their own PADDs? Back in my great-grandfather's day they had tablets with hundreds of books in them.

Seven (grits teeth): How many kids get a chance to live on a starship?




Seven: Snipe hunts are irrelevant.




Vorik: This mannequin is quite lifelike.

 

T4TW, Coffee Black Cat!
Seven: After you've finished with your Engineering, Medical and Astrometrics "internships", get started on crew evaluations.
Naomi: I wouldn't have volunteered for Captain's Assistant if I'd known it was all her dirtywork!
Seven: Oh and if you could name these new subspatial vortex anomalies without using the words "subspatial", "vortex" or "anomaly", reallocate officer replicator rations from all holographic "masseuses", and fire Neelix without him going postal - that'd be great.
Naomi: I'll remember this on Catsuit Approval Day!!!


Seven: Species 6382 shit.


Seven: So..."Seven Minutes in Heaven" doesn't involve an Omega Molecule radiation chamber? First I've heard of it.

 

Or...

Vorik: In the interest of cultural research, I would be willing to act as a participant in this human ritual of "Heaven Minutes in Seven".
Seven: It is "Seven Minutes in Heaven". And - AS IF!
Vorik: Oh. As long as it involves a chaperone and the mutual raising of eyebrows.
Torres: Saucy.

 

SEVEN: "Hello, Naomi. I am presently on my way to keep a follow-up appointment in sickbay. Is that your destination as well?"
NAOMI: "Nah, I'm taking these PADDs back to the ship's library."
SEVEN: "Hmm. Would it be an inconvenience for you to return this one for me, as well?"
NAOMI: "Sure, I can do that!"
WOMAN PASSING BY: *whispers* "It's three weeks overdue, and she's afraid of the librarian."
NAOMI *surprised*: "Really? Even I'm not afraid of Crewman Terwilliger."
SEVEN: "I am not afraid. I merely have no desire to engage in a heated conflict. I have better things to do..."
NAOMI AND WOMAN *in unison*: "Aaaandd?"
SEVEN: "And the last time I returned an overdue book, she behaved most irrationally. Which, incidentally, is why I am heading to sickbay. Have you ever had somebody throw a xenolinguistics textbook at your head?"

 

Seven: Voyager...I require assistance....I can't tell the real Chakotay from all these duplicates.

 

SEVEN: Sensors show a large pile of animal excrement..... too late

 

Seven....and there's Pokemon in the Captain's Ready room. and Neelix's bathroom. I'm tasking you to catch them.

 

Torres: (Whispers) Tom, what do you think would happen if Vorik infected Seven with his Ponn Farr?
Tom (whispers back) I don't know, but somehow I don't think her reaction would be very...logical.

[

Seven: You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out...

 

Chakotay: Now watch a master tracker at work.
Seven: You're standing in poison oak.

 

Vaurik learned about human courtship rituals by studying those of 21st century Earth presidents.



SEVEN: Your report, Lieutenant Wildman.
NAOMI: Thank you. Tell Ensign Kim I want his on my desk by tomorrow morning.



SEVEN: Seven to Captain Janeway. I still can't find Commander Chakotay, only a lot of trees.

 

TOM: I changed my mind. We shouldn't try swinging.

 

Naomi: Did you do this much homework when you were my age?
Seven: Not exactly, I got to roam about my irresponsible parents starship all day and got cybernetic implants to assimilate teraquads of data within a shared hive mind of billions.
Naomi: <drop kicks the pile of padds into Sevens face and runs off>




[Exterior Holodeck]
Tom: They're putting bets on how long you two will last in there. Were exhausted!
Seven: <death stare>
Tom: Doubles. In the ping-pong tournament... what did ya think?




Broken Trichorder: Looks like we landed in Canada, eh. There should be a Tim-ho's just up ahead-eh. Watch out for that rock, eh. Poison ivy-eh. You two would make a nice couple, eh.




Chakotay: I hope we don't bump into any creepy clowns out here!
Seven: Don't worry, that meme died out as soon as their parents dressed up the same at Halloween.

 

NAOMI: I heard in the 21st Century all the information on these PADDs would fit on a device you could hold in the palm of your hand.

 

Picard (os): "Barbarians."