Very funny review of Godzilla (1998)

[Argus Skyhawk]

I just wanted to share this funny review of the 1998 American version of Godzilla. Here is just a portion:

Fighter jets pursue the beast through Manhattan's streets, firing missiles and bombs willy-nilly, inflicting very little harm on Godzilla himself but obliterating numerous buildings. All of New York is what they call "collateral damage," though usually that term refers to injury that befalls something in addition to the intended target, not instead of. Impartial observers could witness the spectacle and very reasonably surmise that the military is trying to tear down New York City and this giant lizard just keeps getting in the way.

Eventually Godzilla runs and hides somewhere. Lots of places in New York for a hundred-foot monster to lie low. The mayor orders all residents to evacuate the city and head to New Jersey, which they do in about an hour (New Yorkers are very efficient), so now they're safe from Godzilla but they're in New Jersey, so it's really a lateral move.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Impartial observers could witness the spectacle and very reasonably surmise that the military is trying to tear down New York City and this giant lizard just keeps getting in the way.

This would be more likely if it was Detroit.

The mayor orders all residents to evacuate the city and head to New Jersey

Better they should've stayed in NYC with the giant lizard.

 

[Trekker4747]

The mayor orders all residents to evacuate the city and head to New Jersey, which they do in about an hour (New Yorkers are very efficient), so now they're safe from Godzilla but they're in New Jersey, so it's really a lateral move.

 

[barnaclelapse]

The "New Yorkers are very efficient" line makes me laugh for some reason.

 

[Greg Cox]

Hey, it was worth my $10 just to watch the Flatiron Building get blown up in 70mm!

(I remember when they filmed those scenes. There were phony tanks and missile launchers parked outside the Tor offices for days. Not to mention a large pile of plastic fish!)

 

[Trekker4747]

I think the Flatiron Building (a building I've always loved) was the only prominent NYC "landmark" to get destroyed in the movie and it wasn't destroyed by Godzilla but by the Army. I mean, the movie could've been awesome if Godzilla had ran around and leveled NYC but he was pretty much just a nuisance rather than an imposing force of destruction. The movie spent way too much time on our "heroes" and other characters and the stupid "love story" between Ferris Beuler and that one chick.