TOS Caption Contest #52: Jealousy Reared

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Great week again. That one was a little harder, and not because of what Smilin' Bob is shilling.

The best of the best, to my state-fair-food-addled brain, were:

KJM said:

(The Enterprise is leaving Ceti Alpha V)
Kirk: So long, Khan. Enjoy your exile.
Khan(offscreen): KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRK!

cooleddie74 said:

OVERHEAD ANNOUNCER:"STAR TREK was filmed in front of a live studio audience!"

Gertch said:

Mallory decides to stay and help the village ladies after Vaal's destruction.

Congratulations to KJM for the first win, cooleddie for #7, and good ol' Gertch on his 6th.

This week's bits might be a little easier.

And a bonus third, because I couldn't decide which to hold off on:

Be cool.

Joe, warmly

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdevenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdevenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x), The Squire of Gothos (3x), and galleywest (2x), Adam Ihle (2x) and DrBob(2x), DrBob (3x!) and Classic Fan, Outpost4 (5x!) and Tim M and Gertch (5x!) and DrBob (4x!!), Haggis and Tatties and A Beaker Full Of Death, Adam Ihle (3x!) and Outpost4 (6x!!), Adam Ihle (4x!) and Outpost4 (7x!!), Rat Boy (7x!!) and cooleddie74 (5x), galleywest (3x!) and cooleddie74 (6x!), Tharpdevenport (3x) and M´Sharak & Nerys Myk (6x!), Outpost4 (8x!) and Outpost4 (9x!!) and Rat Boy (8x!!) and MGagen (1x!) and Rat Boy (9x!), KJM (1x!) and cooleddie74 (7x!) and Gertch (6x!)!!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Why is there a feather in my hat?"

Spock, thinking: "On the next mission, I wish I'd get the girl ..."

Spock, thinking: "Note to self: be careful what you wish for."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: I was unprepared for his attack. I instinctively used the Vulcan Nostril flare.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: My God. I don't believe it.

McCoy: But it's true, Jim. Emeril includes a dash of rosemary there when most chefs would use sage.

 

[Shatmandu]

scottydog said:

Spock: I was unprepared for his attack. I instinctively used the Vulcan Nostril flare.

First pitch, out of the park!

This was the last time that, with McCoy busy, Spock agreed to look at a boil on Scotty's ass.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Paradise is about to have trouble with loose stools, Mr. Spock ..."
Spock, sighing: "Yes, Captain."

Spock: "If you had legs, I'd be holding them up right about here, baby ..."

McCoy: "What's Spock doing to Mother Horta?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Woman: "On my planet, everybody gets leid."

Kirk: "Hot diggity damn!"

Spock: "That wasn't what she meant, Captain."

Spock: "Oh, Gods, I think it just farted."

McCoy: "Sulu's YouTube postings are getting stranger all the time."

 

[A beaker full of death]

Blast it, Jim! It's control-alt-delete!!

 

[Tim]

As Spock was not having success with the alien women...


...he resorted to desperate measures...with unfortunate results.

SPOCK: I said no teeth!

 

[A beaker full of death]

I am so glad you decided to check on our progress, Kirk...

 

[cultcross]

Bones: Playing Spock? nah, I don't see it.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: Dammit, Scotty, I don't want to hear that they've been back-ordered. We've been waiting for flat-screen monitors for close to 300 years!

 

[M'Sharak]

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not awaitaminute... what did she just do there?

My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your-- ... double garlic with anchovies?!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "How much per minute does Uhura charge you?"

Horta: "No. Come. In. I."

 

[Shatmandu]

Three hours later, Kirk in ecstasy: "KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!"

 

[Gertch]

Thanks for the win! I'm glad some people could get a chuckle.

Spock: "Captain. Khan has a Tattoo on his butt."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mr. Balok Puppet: "I'd only take ONE MINUTE!"

Khan: "Captain, your Mr. Chekov grabbed my breasts and told me the Russians invented something called 'cornholing!'"
Kirk: "Oh, calm down: it's not like you're ever going to see him again in the future ..."

Mr. Balok Puppet: "Uh, Captain, remember that not everyone has their genitals in the same place as humans."
Kirk: "Middle of her back?"
Mr. Balok Puppet: "Middle of her back."
Kirk: "Eh. <shrugs>"

 

[Ryker]

Shatmandu said:

Horta: "No. Come. In. I."

"Beer sprayed over monitor" moment. Cheers! :thumbsup:

 

[Mallory]

Congrats Gertch, I'm glad you made it a reference to The Apple.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, on Spock's dropped Communicator: "Spock, any trace of the giant cat that was chasing us?"

To a Space Hippie, 'Eden' is a being that is both pizza and vagina.