TOS Caption Contest #51: Briefing Coda

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Well, that was a doozy! The creativity really increases when the screen caps don't have big, black knobs wagging in the hero's face.

It's getting flat-out impossible to narrow down to two winners each week. What do you folks think of maybe getting rid of having winners and maybe just doing a "Best of Show" listing of the best entries? It's not really a competition, and there are always several posts that are hilarious. Let me know what you think.

We'll try it out for this past week. The best of the lot were:

Outpost4 said:

Kirk: Damn, I never leave enough room for the nacelles.

Outpost4 said:

Kirk: You'd think a Guardian of Forever would live in a nicer neighborhood.

Rat Boy said:

Kirk: "Guardian, can you show us the future?"
Guardian: "I was made to display time in this manner."
Kirk: "Well, some goddamn time portal you are."

MGagen said:

"I am the Guardian of Scratchy, Old, Black & White, Public-domain Film Clips..."

Rat Boy said:

Kirk: "McCoy? What could he have done in the past to change the present?"
Spock: "Clearly he must have intervened at some point in the 1970s. Jim, the disco era must die."

There were many, many deserving entries out of the roughly 200 that were posted, especially when you take out my 100 wanky ones. A very fun week.

This week's captions have the difficulty factor pretty high, too.

Be mindful.

Joe, voter


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdevenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdevenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x), The Squire of Gothos (3x), and galleywest (2x), Adam Ihle (2x) and DrBob(2x), DrBob (3x!) and Classic Fan, Outpost4 (5x!) and Tim M and Gertch (5x!) and DrBob (4x!!), Haggis and Tatties and A Beaker Full Of Death, Adam Ihle (3x!) and Outpost4 (6x!!), Adam Ihle (4x!) and Outpost4 (7x!!), Rat Boy (7x!!) and cooleddie74 (5x), galleywest (3x!) and cooleddie74 (6x!), Tharpdevenport (3x) and M´Sharak & Nerys Myk (6x!), Outpost4 (8x!) and Outpost4 (9x!!) and Rat Boy (8x!!) and MGagen (1!) and Rat Boy (9x!)!!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Wait 'til you see the size of his breasts."

Scotty: "I beamed all the Tribbles into open space, where they'll never drink any more Scotch that doesn't belong to them a'tall."

Spock poorly edited the slideshow of his vacation.

Kirk: "Fuckin' Dish Network!"

 

[A beaker full of death]

ok. But who did you get to play the midget?

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Awesome!

I love stuff with Rosario Dawson!"

Everybody laughed hysterically at the extra-loud whoopie cushion placed in the Captain's chair...until the realization set in that Doctor McCoy had forgotten to bring it with him.

 

[CaptainJon]

"Single, Mexican male seeking any female who enjoys a man with bigger breasts than her. Hobbies include fantasizing about Ahd-merhal Kirk, conquering whole worlds, putting slugs in men's ears, and fly fishing."

Whew! Did you smell that one?

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "This is a picture of Harry Mudd's forth passenger, who didn't make the beam-out. Apparently one of the miners on Rigel was a little <raises pinky>."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Name...Khan Noonien Singh."

SPOCK:"From 1992 through 1996...absolute ruler of more than a quarter of your world...from South Asia through the Middle East."

SCOTTY:"I must confess, gentlemen...I've always had a sneaking homoerotic fascination with this one."


(*Long, awkward pause as the three other officers stare at Scott in confusion and disbelief*)

McCOY:"That's it.

I could handle the haggis crap and kilts...but NOW you are dead to me."

OVERHEAD ANNOUNCER:"STAR TREK was filmed in front of a live studio audience!"

 

[Shatmandu]

The laughter stopped when Spock removed the tack from his asscheek, licked the blood off, and began punching himself in the testicles.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Apparently, he has some fascination with something called 'Rich Corinthian Leather.'"

No one seemed to mind the fact that the life support systems were malfunctioning, since it was pumping nitrous oxide into the ship's air.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Apparently, based on late 20th century historical documentation, he knew Enrico Palazzo."

"That's our SPOCK!!!"

(*Closing theme kicks in followed by Stephen J. Cannell logo and Erik Estrada grinning*)

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Khan Noonien Singh, a genetically engineered superman who ruled half your planet in the latter half of your twentieth century."

Kirk: "Formidable!"

Spock: "Not really, he's a Sikh with a Muslim name, who can't get the Singh in the right place. The Noonien is actually Korean, and he speaks with a Mexican accent."

...

...

"The genetic engineers of the era smoked a lot of dope."

Khan on viewscreen: "I have deprived your ship of power Captain, and when I come about I intend to deprive you of your life."

Kirk in high pitched voice: "Mr Fantasy, the plane, the plane!"

everyone chuckles

Khan stomps foot: "No one takes me seriously!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"According to available historical documentation predating the Eugenics Wars, he once raised a talking chimpanzee that led a revolt against human domination."

 

[Outpost4]

#9 win. Wow. I'm honored to be mentioned so highly in such company.

On the other hand, my mother is ashamed.

Kirk: Gentlemen, our new ship's beautician.

 

[Outpost4]

Imagine the laugher if only two crewmen had died instead of three.


(Joe - I cheated on this one. I took this joke from your file name of onlythreedeaths.jpg.)

 

[terranova]

Spock: And joining us over subspace, is renowed genetics expert Dr San Khingh.
Kirk: That sounds a bit familar,(thinks to himself), nahh.

The reason that Spock had to stop smoking on the bridge, the crew were getting passivily stoned.

 

[Woulfe]

When planing the first Galaxy Quest convention in outer space the crew could only find one host with the most, Khan....

The crew reads the winners from the last caption contest and just can't help but to laugh at themselves, a lot.

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Someone want to tell Chekov his mother is calling?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Gertch said:

Kirk: "Someone want to tell Chekov his mother is calling?"

Khan: "I never forget a face...especially one only a mother could love."

 

[Shatmandu]

Even Vulcans have limits.

Kirk: "Tell me the part again where you were working hard to get back to the library, to help save me from being burned at the stake?"



Deleted Scene from "Amok Time":

Kirk: "You sure you wanna get married? I can line her up for you, like that." <snaps fingers>

Balok Puppet: "Ha-ha, Spock, you're different from the rest of us, you fuckin' douchebag!"

 

[SciFi75]

Scotty: .....and then I shit me pants!

Scotty's stories about getting drunk, though seldom shared, were always a delight with the bridge crew.