Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This #578: Screen Time

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Sep 10, 2020.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

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    Hello and welcome to the new contest!

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    First up to the plate, we have the "But can you do it while drunk" Award, going to @galleywest for:

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    Picard: Bet I can clear all three in one jump!


    Next, we have the "Klingon workouts" Award, going to @JesterFace for:

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    Geordi - Hey Beverly, check out these abs. I have to take part in Worf's next exercise program.


    Next, we have the "Don't mess with Lieutenant Commander Data" Award, going to @Nerys Myk for:

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    DATA: Operation A.I. Overlord is a go. The meat bags have been taken care of.


    Next, we have the "What a dreadful color and entire outfit" Award, going to @JirinPanthosa for:

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    Q: Uh oh. I have to go to the bathroom. Why did these humans design one piece outfits you have to completely take off?!


    Next, we have the "All these captions are yours" Award, going to @Tenacity for:

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    Picard: "Your evaluation doctor."
    Crusher: "It's full of stars."


    @Qonundrum had some great Photoshops this contest, couldn't choose just one winner so here's the top 2!

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    Geordi: "One more time Worf, I actually read the instructions for once. We'll get it out soon!"
    Worf: "But I am not a vending machine. But keep doing that, I like being tickled."

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    @Tenacity

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    Data: Second Officer's Log--I am not sure what led to the other bridge officers passing out. I have two possible causes, but Captain Picard was not giving another speech nor was Counselor Troi going on about "feelings." Conclusion? This is an actual emergency.



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    @TrekTee

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    "The Game" v2 now for Android.



    Many thanks to all those who participated and congrats to our winners!

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    Enjoy!
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2020
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    Picard: Data, do something! It's closing in on Riker and Yar!

    Data: This is problematic Captain, I do not detect any health packs on this level.

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    K'Ehleyr: You better not be using that console to look up how to spell my name again.

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    Neral: What do you know of this human, Jean-Luc Picard, one of Starfleet's few competent Captains?

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    Data: I have conclusive evidence that the Borg did attack this colony.

    La Forge: What do you have, Data?

    Data: They assimilated the local Poke-gym.

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    La Forge: Commander the installation is complete.

    Riker: Did we really need a Giant Magic-8 Device?

    La Forge: All signs point to yes.
     
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  3. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    NERAL: Be honest, is the frame too much?
     
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  4. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: While Starfleet forces moved around the two borg cubes from opposite directions, the Klingon fleet came out of the nebula at high sublight speed.

    Picard: And that's when we all ran into each other?

    Data; Yes sir.[​IMG]

    Worf: I thought after we finish here we could share a meal
    Kaylar: You not going to use those same old cheap moves, are you?
    Worf: No, I have all new cheap moves[​IMG]

    Romulan: Human are so repusive
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    Data: According to these reading Georde, in exactly 13.3 seconds you will be completelly submerged in the quicksand
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    Riker: I thought the replicator was down?

    LaForge: It is, we built that out of left over cardboard. Pretty beliveable huh?
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2020
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  5. TrekTee

    TrekTee Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    Data: They're in for some chop, sir?
    Picard: Five by five.
     
  6. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    [​IMG]
    RIKER: Are you sure Scruffy the Janitor is the right person for this job?
     
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  7. Dr. San Guinary

    Dr. San Guinary Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Worf: Success! I have located a Charizard in the auxiliary engine room!
     
  8. Delta Vega

    Delta Vega Commodore Commodore

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    Worf : "I'll just casually browse this console and try not to focus on her skin tight lycra suit and thigh boots"
     
  9. Oddish

    Oddish Rear Admiral Commodore

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    I still don't know how to move photos, so I will go by photo #'s. Sorry.

    3rd one:
    ROMULAN OFFICER: "So, what do you think? Our next cookie cutter Romulan hairstyle. Looks good, right?"

    4th one:
    DATA: "Your tricorder would be less prone to malfunctioning if you had not downloaded 37 episodes of 'Orion Girls Gone Wild' onto it."
     
  10. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    If you copy the image address you can using it in your post.
     
  11. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Given that the same thing happened on her previous visit, it was surprising that K'Ehleyr fell for the "superglue on the tabletop trick" a second time.
     
  12. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Captain Captain

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    Romulan: I have successfully altered our reception. We now pick up UPN.
     
  13. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    If you click on the [​IMG] in the post menu it opens a field that you can paste the image address into.
     
  14. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: "Jesus Christ ... that's Jason Bourne."
     
  15. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: So, Data, you're saying these things adapt? As in, if we were to fire on them, they'd learn how to adjust their shields and tactics? Terrifying.

    Data: Indeed, sir. However, I believe I can adjust the programming and end these attacks.

    Picard: Make it so, Data, and let us hope that we never again encounter something that can adapt to our attacks and defenses so easily.

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    K'Ehleyr: Something I could never understand, despite my human side.

    Worf: And what is that?

    K'Ehleyr: Humans have all this great technology which can be accessed from anywhere on this ship, through any console, and yet they dedicate a room, this library, to research.

    Worf: That is because Federation ships are designed by nerds.

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    Neral: Praetor, I have done as you ask, I have found a way to watch Picard without paying for CBS All-Access.

    Praetor: Excellent, Neral

    Neral: However, the human's system...YouTube...is only offering the series for a short time, so we must make haste and watch it, as the humans say by, "Netflixing and chilling."

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    Data: So you will agree that this device uses more than three sensors to record information.

    Geordi: Yeah, Data, sure. Why is this important?

    Data: Curious, the name, "Tricorder" would imply "three," and "corder" would be recording. Therefore, this device should only employ three sensors to record the information. However, if this device were to be renamed, it would be more fitting.

    Geordi: Very good, Data, you keep working on that, while I quietly walk away...

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    La Forge: Commander, the highly volatile cargo that we will not be able to jettison should a problem with the growth rate happen is installed. Should I program the transporter to scramble its atoms and spread them throughout the farthest reaches of space if the growth rate goes above, say 50%?

    Riker: Negative, Geordi, this episode already has a ridiculous "A" plot that won't do much to engage the viewers, we need some kind of stakes to keep people watching. I didn't grow this beard for viewership to drop off at the start of the second season!

    La Forge: Aye, sir, I'll program the computer for "Exciting 'B' plot mode," which will make it interesting, but not to overshadow the "A" plot, until such a time as whatever is happening with it coincides with the "A" plot around the climax of the episode.

    Riker: Perfect, Geordi. As you were.
     
  16. Oddish

    Oddish Rear Admiral Commodore

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    They could also have found a nice star and dumped that crap in it. I don't see even plasma plague surviving a 6000°C fusion powered furnace.
     
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  17. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    LAforge: How do you feels today?
    Riker: Since that ambassador showed me the Cardassian neck trick, I still can't move my head.
     
  18. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    K'Ehleyr: What do you mean they're out of Zagnut bars!!!!
     
  19. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Captain, the alien invasion fleet is heading for the center of the federation.

    Picard: Merde, if only the federation had a military to protect it.
     
  20. Captain pl1ngpl0ng

    Captain pl1ngpl0ng Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    K'Ehleyr: So, you are saying i'm FAT??!
    Worf: No no.... i just said that you looked big and strong in that red suit...
    K'Ehleyr: But what the hell worf.....