Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #554: The back of the bridge
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Picard: So when will winners be announced?
La Forge: According to LeadHead, Saturday or Sunday.
Riker: I'll believe it when I see it.
Riker became jealous when an internet poll said Worf looked better in the red uniform than he did.
Computer: Warning: Blue Screen of Death. Evacuate Bridge Immediately.
WORF: It's not here, I'm telling you.
RIKER: It was there yesterday, check again.
WORF: It's gone sir. It's either General Targ's Chicken or Sweet & Sour Tribble With Broccoli.
RIKER: Last time I'm ordering chinese from Quarks.
PICARD: Make it bigger, I can't see anything.
GEORDI: If only we had a large, 17-foot screen for displaying images and video....
PICARD: Shut up, Wesley.
GEORDI: ...It's Geordi, sir.
PICARD: Shut up, Geordi!
When employees just sitting down and doing their job becomes such a rare thing around the office that when somebody actually does, it draws a crowd.
Picard waits patiently for the winners of Caption This! #553.
Steadily getting impatient for the winners of Caption This! #553.
Winners. Glorious blinding winners.
Picard: (thinking) Dammit, I'm the Captain of this ship, could choose anyone I wanted for my crew, so why did I turn it into such a sausage factory?
Worf: Commander, given that these uniforms are made from spandex and don't breath, you might want to lower your arm.
Special Guest Director: JJ Abrams
"Mr. Worf, haven't we been down this road before?"
"Captain, while scanning various channels, we're picking up a strange anom-- it's Q! He's taking impressionable teenagers onto the hull of the ship!"
Picard: "Q, what is it this time!"
Q: "Just proving to Wesley that everything he knows about physics is wrong. Care to join me?"
Wesley: "No. Not because I'll asphyxiate and explode in the vacuum of space but because there are girls out there and they have Riker's cooties."
No reason.
PICARD: Really, that's your OK Cupid profile?
GEORDI: Sorry, I didn't mean for you to see that.
RIKER: You look so bored in your picture. You really picked that one?
GEORDI: I think it looks good.
DATA: Based on my research, heterosexual human females prefer males who appear confident and powerful. This picture objectively makes you look socially awkward and uncomfortable.
GEORDI: I didn't ask for feedback!
WORF: Shaving is without honor.
RIKER: Okay, I'm not self conscious. (I'm totally going to stop shaving.)
WESLEY: Oops! I created a super intelligent computer race that can destroy us all. Oh well, odds are they are virtuous.
Laforge: Anyone want to volunteer to take over now? I do run an entire engineering section. Geordi make ship go... Anyone?
Worf: The technical thing isn't thinging like it's supposed to. I hate when they don't thing like they're supposed to
Picard: Dammit Wesley, stop flying the ship with your traveler powers
Wesley: Captain, I recommend that all of J.J. Abrams' works be scrubbed from the historical database immediately.
Captain's Personal Log: I'm now sure Geordi was not the right choice to promote as he keeps going to work from Science 1 rather than the engineering station...
Riker: But seriously, which beauty contest did you win?
Bob: Christ, you see that they've cancelled Brooklyn 99 but renewed Big Bang Theory for another two years? No justice man. No justice.
Worf: So why is it that I'm allowed to wear this sash, a symbol of my Klingon heritage, but Ro couldn't wear her earring?
Riker: Continuity error.
Worf: I can't accept that. I need a convoluted, batshit crazy in universe explanation. I'll post it as a topic on TrekBBS.
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To appease the Klingon council? Or The house of....help me out
Worf: So why is it that I'm allowed to wear this sash, a symbol of my Klingon heritage, but Ro couldn't wear her earring?
Riker: Continuity error.
Worf: I can't accept that. I need a convoluted, batshit crazy in universe explanation. I'll post it on TrekBBS.
Or "It could get ripped out from an exploding console. Star ship OSHA."
[Riker leans on upper piece of console. Several button sounds heard]
Computer: Self-destruct activated. Initiating one minute countdown. 60. 59. 58.
Riker: When did they put a button panel up here?
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