Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #550: Q? Q!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    LeadHead
    Hello everyone! Sorry I missed last weekend, real life keeping me busy.

    I haven't had the time to judge winners, but Q has been patient, so we can get the new contest started!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    Sitting on a cornflake.
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    Q:Hands down, Frenchie. Don't be such a stereotype.
     
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  3. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    LeadHead
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    Picard: Get out of my chair!

    Q: I'm having some Me Time. Stay quiet or I'll make you be frozen in place until I'm done.

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    Q: That's a Pakled, drunk with a head cold. You can take him.

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    Picard was not amused when he realized that Q deleted the starcharts on the shuttlecraft.

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    Q: How long are you keeping me in here?

    Picard: Until that outfit becomes fashionable.

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    Q: Smoking is bad for your health.
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Sitting on a cornflake.
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    PICARD: Are you just going to sit there?
    Q: Hold your horses. I'm doing a little research. Buddy of mine really screwed the pooch once by messing up the date.
     
  5. Mr Soak

    Mr Soak Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Mr Soak, [Redacted]
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    Picard: Get out of my cosplay outfit!

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    Q: Relax, Jean-Luc. It's not a gun.

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    Q: Please state the nature of the navigational emergency.
    Picard: Dammit, Q, take us back to the Enterprise.

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    Troi (o.s.): Congratulations. It's a Q!
     
  6. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    PICARD: Are you telling me you made the Earth flat?
    Q: Just for a minute in the 21st century. A flat Earther built a rocket, so just for a few minutes while he was in the air, I made it flat, then went right back and made it round again.

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    Q: Stick em up, I have a gun!
    GEORDI: Umm...sir, why are you putting your hands up? He can kill you easily with or without a gun.
    PICARD: Right, I knew that.

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    Q: You do realize, your outraged reactions make you the perfect foil? I've received orders from the continuum to keep harassing you just so they can make reality show out of it.

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    PICARD: Alright, I'll let you out under one condition. You know the rules. If you save the ship once, we completely trust you forever. Saving the ship is non-negotiable!

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    PICARD: Number One, what exactly is in these cigars?
    RIKER: Where did you find them?
    PICARD: In the special shipment you got from Risa.
    RIKER: ...Uh oh.
     
  7. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Ensign Extra (in back) - <thinking> Oh shit! I guess I picked the wrong week to quit drinking
     
  8. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    "And you stay in there, LeadHead, until you judge the winners of about five passed Caption This! contests you have yet to judge."
     
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  9. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    CT - The Sad Land of Malloy
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    Troi: <offscreen> Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar
    Picard: Thank you, Counselor Obvious
    Q: That reminds me, I promised Bill Clinton I'd visit him again sometime.
     
  10. Marynator

    Marynator Logic Lady Premium Member

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    Q: Ok good, now pretend the invisible box is all around you.
     
  11. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "Q! What are you doing in my chair?!"

    Q: "A war re-enactment."

    Picard: "But you're not doing anything."

    Q: "Exactly -- I'm re-enacting the boring parts where nothing happens that are so often neglected!"
     
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  12. Marynator

    Marynator Logic Lady Premium Member

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    Captain Picard: Well? What do you think?

    Q: Mmmmmm ... well to start, you've got too many run-on sentences ...
     
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  13. Cutie McWhiskers

    Cutie McWhiskers Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
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    Picard: "That's MY chair!"
    Q: "Do I look like Sheldon Cooper to you?" (gives look of exasperation and snorts)


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    Q: "He's more interested in my hairline, but I appreciate your acting as bodyguard."

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    Picard: "Space is dark. Why didn't anybody invent a large enough light bulb?"
    Q: "Because nobody was bright enough."

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    Q: "You do realize that you are the one who's really stuck in the brig?"
    Picard: "Don't get philosophical on me."

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    Q: "Those aren't my eyes you're staring at"
     
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  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    PICARD: What's this all about.
    Q: Just looking at the Picard family history. Sad, just generation after generation of vinter, making a second class wine.
    PICARD: What? There were Picards at Trafalgar. And in the first Moon colony!
    Q: Yeah....about that.
     
  15. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Q: (acapella) Stop. In the name of love.
     
  16. Mr Soak

    Mr Soak Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Mr Soak, [Redacted]
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    Q: The joke's on you. I changed reality so this is the only place of freedom. The rest of the universe is a prison.
     
  17. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    shivkala
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    Picard: It's been weeks! What do you have to say for yourself?

    Leadhead: I'm busy at my day job.

    Picard: And what, exactly is that?

    Leadhead: Textbook caption editor.

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    Q: Oooh, you put your hands up, but Q didn't say to do so! You're out. Now, Q says, hop on one foot!

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    Picard: Does it have to be so dark?

    Q: Of course, we'd be fools to fly into the sun during the day when it's bright and hot!

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    Q: Q was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Nechayev to help her advance her cause. A smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is Khan.

    Picard: Cut the crap, Q.

    Q: Fine, but I'm bored. At least let me watch Worf get his Klingon ass kicked in his calisthenics program.

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    It's 4/20, yo!
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Sitting on a cornflake.
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    Q: What? I'm big Rita Hayworth fan.
     
  19. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Q: "Pft -- it would be just like you to drive on the wrong side of the shuttle."


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    Q: "Jean-Luc, this is an intervention; you've had your left turn signal on for the last five light years.


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    Q: "Now put your hands in the air."

    Picard: "Ah huh. Now what?"

    Q: "And wave them like you just don't care."

    Picard: "Okay. I'm waving them. Now what?"

    Q: "That's it."

    Picard: "I don't get it. Why would I care about waving my hands in the air anyway?"
     
  20. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Q: you stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
    Picard: Who me? Couldn't be.
    Q: Then who?
    picard: Vash?