Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #496: Here's Q!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, new contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Is it logical?" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Captain's log supplemental: Sigh. I hate Vulcan porn.


Next, we have the "Danger, Danger, Deanna Troi!" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: Commander, there's another energy being on the ship.
DATA: Data to Counselor Troi. Just thought you should know, you're probably about to be possessed.


Next, we have the "Universal Language" Award, going to Shivkala for:

Glowing Portal: Shut up, Wesley!



Next, we have the "Safety Procedures" Award, going to Mojochi for:

Geordi: Ummmm.... I'm not so sure about this. Computer, get the door ready for me to roll under it at the last second



Next, we have the "Just as painful as the shocks" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

T'Jon: I got a funny heartburn pun. You wanna hear it?
RIKER: I'm good.


Our Photoshop Award, goes to tharpdevenport for:

Worf: "Intruder alert!" whips a phaser out.

Picard: "Mr. Worf, stand down!"

Worf: "Ah, come on, I never get to shoot any intruders on the Bridge!"

Picard: "Oh, I'm not saying no this time, but unless you have an unlicensed nuclear accelorator on yoru back, you'll just have to him do his thing."

The Award goes to Merlanthe for:

Captains log: there was a minor incident at the annual talent show when one of the contestants mistook Riker for his ventriloquist dummy. Thankfully Dr Crusher was on hand to rectify the situation. Riker has been given a couple days leave to recover from the invasion of his lower decks.

Our KBL goes to Leviathan for:

Data: Enterprise, I have encountered another 'Ghostbusters' remake. Fire all phasers on my location.




Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, our new contest featuring everyone's favorite member of the Continuum, Q!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Q: That jump over the Tactical console was very good, Worf. Tasha, I hope you took notes, evasive maneuvers may be useful in your future.

Q: A letter to RIker: Quick, come to the castle, it's meatloaf night!

Q: (thinking) I'll get you back for this. I wonder how Merry a man he will be.

Q: I have gone through the history of your planet and produced its most popular beverage.

Riker: Zima?!

Q: (thinking) One day my son will provoke the Borg like this...

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: Unlimited power and, yet, even you can't make an Admiral's uniform look good.

Vash: What is it?

Q: A "Cease and Desist" letter from Warner Brothers claiming we're infringing on their movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Don't worry though, the Q Continuum lawyers will clear this up faster than you can say, "Public Domain."

Worf: Personal Log--Is this what happiness feels like? I sure hope so!

Riker: Unlimited power and you can't do anything about the sky?

Q: Yes, a shame. Apparently I used all of the Continuum's "Green Screen Budget" on "Encounter at Farpoint."

Q: Jean-Luc, draw me like one of your French girls.

Picard: Not now, Q!

 

[Hutchy01]

I am not a merry Q.

 

[Finn]

Picard: Merde!

Riker:...is that...

Troi: Mother and....the Captain in a shower...?

Q: Mon Capitaine, she thinks you are actually on Betazed with her. I will end this if you do as I ask...

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Q: (reading aloud) "'Dear Mister Q, please excuse my daughter Vash from participating in the Robin Hood simulation. She is not feeling well today. Sincerely, Vash's mummy.'" Tsk, tsk. Did you really believe I'd fall for that?"
Vash: "Can't blame a girl for trying..."

Q: "What do you think Jean-Luc? Doesn't this uniform have that certain je ne sais quoi?"
Picard: "I'd prefer if it had that certain tu n'es pas là."

Picard: "It's a vase!"
Troi: "No, Captain, it's two faces."
Riker: "I don't know, I'm kind of seeing a dumb bell."
Worf: "A dumb bell? Ridiculous! Any fool can see that it's a bat'leth!"
Q: "I'll just sit over here while you mortals try to figure it out..."

Riker: "I got to tell you, I've been to better yard sales."
Q: "Just because the Wilkinsons have a bouncy castle and pony rides is no reason to get testy...*mutters under his breath* darn those Wilkinsons..."

Q: "Look, I realize this is something of a coup for you, but do you have to play "Fireflies" every time I come too close to the force field?"

(NOTE: I like the song "Fireflies". But Q is getting tired of it. )

 

[Hutchy01]

Q: I can't believe this contest wasn't called 'Hi Q'

 

[Ithekro]

Side note: This would make for a very interesting spot the differences set, since this is basically the same angle shot of the bridge.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Q: Oh, by the way. The original dress uniforms did not look this way. I altered reality to make you look silly.

VASH: All I'm saying is, there are parts of Jean-Luc you could increase, and make him think it was that way the whole time. I'd consider it a personal favor.

Q: You gave Wesley a job just because he was really smart. I TOLD you my IQ!

Q: Actually I made a bet with the other Q that you were so self righteous that you would actually turn down our powers. They still can't believe it!

PICARD: Do you need something Q? Are you here to annoy us again?
Q: Nope. Was bored. Just wanted to hang. Whatcha doin?

 

[Catarina]

Vash: Must I wear this thing around my head and neck that looks like Wesley's jock strap?
Q: hmm. Shut up, Wesley

 

[Catarina]

And this is Seven of Nine: Tertiary adjunct of uni-matrix zero one. And you wanted to destroy the Borg, Picard. Tsk Tsk. Now Janeway has her.

 

[Catarina]

Q: You see? I told you that you needed 360 cameras installed on your bridge. For an example; You can observe what your useless wall flower crew members are up to at the science stations. Behind Worf are a pair about to suck face on your time.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Q: "Anything you want, I can give you."

Picard: "We don't ned anything you have to offer, Q."

Q: "Just think, with one snap of my fingers, I could present you with the greatest archeological find in the Alpha quadrant."

Picard: "The answer is still no, Q."

Q: "One flash of light and you could have a real beating human heart in your chest."

Picard: "There is nothing you can offer."

Q: "In an instant I could make all skant uniforms disappear."

Picard: "MAKE IT SO!!!"

Q: "Blah, blah, blah, something witty."

Riker: "Blah, blah, blah, Caption This captioning winner."

 

[Catarina]

Q: This vendor spot sucks. I should have camped out on the eve of registration. So I solute you with this drink which represents my spending account emptying into oblivion.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Q: This vendor spot sucks. I should have camped out on the eve of registration. So I solute you with this drink which represents my spending account emptying into oblivion.

DeLance: "CBS is coming! Fuck me -- hide the Axanar 2 T-shirts, coffee mugs, and retro VHS tapes!"

Frakes: "I told you not to star in it!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: This whole place looks fake. Fake rocks. Fake sky Fake horizon.
Q: This is the last time I subcontract to Trelane.

PICARD: Yeah. we don't use those anymore. They looked like dresses
Q: Damn it, how the hell can I keep up, if you change things at the drop of hat!!??

PICARD: Mister Worf, the spray bottle. Q is humping the arch again.

Q: Were the purple sparkles your idea, Worf?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Q: Are you laughing at me? I'm going to -oh crap!
Worf: ::walks away smirking::

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Security Log, Supplemental: While I wholeheartedly agree with Captain Picard's decision to throw Q in the brig, it seems to me he could've come up with a better charge than "crimes against fashion".

 

[Mojochi]

Q: LOOK! I'm the leader of this marching band now. And one and a two and a thrrrreeee.....

 

[tharpdevenport]

Security Log, Supplemental: While I wholeheartedly agree with Captain Picard's decision to throw Q in the brig, it seems to me he could've come up with a better charge than "crimes against fashion".

Picard: "Picard to Mr. Worf."

Worf: "Go head."

Picard: "Ready holding cell number two -- Wesley is wearing that rainbow thing again."