Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #485: It was a dark and stormy night...

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New contest has arrived!

First up to the plate, we have the "Command Assignments" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Crusher: Can I command the ship if I give you my special "Croissants"?

Picard: Is that a euphamism for sex?

Crusher: Yes.

Picard: yes.



Next, we have the " So THAT's what Assimilation means" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Worf: "We're too late."
Shelby: "The Captain!"
Data: "... has been assimilated by the Borg Queen."
Crusher: "The slut!"


Next, we have the "Hallelujah for the Empty Nest" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Crusher, sipping bourbon: Only two more years until he's off to the Academy. Two more years.


Next, we have the "Leonard H. McCoy" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:

Riker: "It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery just under the left ear."


Next, we have the "Harsh Criticism" Award, going to shivkala for:

Waiter: A 1 star review on Yelp? Already? You've barely ordered.

Worf: Bringing us our drinks an hour after we ordered is without honor!



Our Photoshop award goes to Zombie Cheerleader for:

RAMSAY: So, is the the #&@$*^<! table that can't pay the #&@$*^<! bill because they don't use #&@$*^<! money?

The award goes to The Green Monster for:

CMO's Log: We should have known something was up when Wesley stopped the reactor core from exploding back at Starbase 32 when he was only two weeks old.

Our KBL goes to Leviathan for:

A rarely seen deleted scene: Starfleet first encounters the Borg Probe-u-lator.



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a brief break with our character contests for a spooky contest....

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Riker to Enterprise. Given our current surroundings, I think we need a few nameless Ensigns to join the Away Team.

Borg: Be my friend Data.

Data: Allow me to demonstrate how I show friendship.

Data fires phaser at Borg.

Worf: Captain, mood lighting generators are down to 20 percent!

Next on the Doctor Who/TNG crossover...

Worf: Worf to Picard, we'll need another new Chief Engineer.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Riker: Reminds me of my fraternity days

First Officer's Log: She still turns me on...

 

[Hutchy01]

Geordi: I don't remember Holmes ever fighting ghosts!

 

[Tenacity]

May I ask you The Illusive Man, why the images you use are so dark?

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Night vision AND a tricorder, Geordi? Isn't that a bit much, like wearing suspenders AND a belt?
Worf: What's wrong with suspenders and a belt? A warrior's pants come down when he TELLS them to come down.

Riker <com>: Let us know when you find the Captain, Data. We've still got his flute recital and a lot of Shakespearean speeches we haven't heard yet.
Data: Inquiry...just how much effort was I supposed to be putting into this?

Riker: Counselor, are you sensing any green?
Troi: As a matter of fact, I am!
Riker: Uncanny!
Troi: I know, right?!

Data: The spirits of Victorian England have asked us to stop conjugally imposing upon their childhoods.

Riker <com>: Cleanup on deck thirty-six!
Worf: @#$% Starfleet recruiters.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Beware of hitchhiking ghosts

Data's heroic pose subroutine would kick in at the most inopportune moments.

Geordi: Why were the villagers so insistent about us staying off the moors?
Grrrrrrrr grrrrrrrr rwwwwl
RIker: Stop growling, Worf.
Worf: That's wasn't me.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, it was just what the Doctor ordered!

LaForge: SIR, I'M PICKING UP SOME HIGH THAYLARION EMISSIONS FROM OVER HERE!

Riker: See, this is why I don't like picking you for these things, Geordi! You always yell on away missions even though we're literally three feet away.

LaForge: DAMN, I WAS YELLING AGAIN?! I'M SORRY I'LL WATCH THAT IN THE FUTURE.

Riker: Right, anyway, on an unrelated note, Worf and I are going to explore over there. Way over there. Way the Hell over there.

Data: Second Officer's Log--I have downloaded all of the Marvel movies that were popular in the early 21st Century and have mastered the heroic pose. It was definitely worth it.

Picard: Merde, green lightning. Nothing good ever happens in green lighting in space.

Extras: Star Trek, you say? I thought this was the set for Masterpiece Theater!

Worf: The chief engineer has gone on a killing spree in engineering. I guess you could say he has no impulse control.

*The CSI: Enterprise music plays as Worf dons his sunglasses*

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the KBLA!

Neither Data nor Troi were amused by Riker's boisterous rendition of 'Ghostbusters'

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: Ceiling Tim! Stop watching Geordi masturbate!

 

[Hutchy01]

Data: And we can see that it was the ghosts of the Stapletons that released the hound on the enterprise

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW!

Riker: For the last time, vapping is not allowed in this room!

Data: Who puts lighting in the floor?

Picard: So now we can kill Superman?

Riker: The Lex Luthor resemblance has really gone to his head...

What Republicans think Obamacare is like.

Worf: *Sigh* Another obsessive fan chronicling every change made to the set since it was first built for Phase II...

 

[Triskelion]

Borg behind Data: Can't won't isn't aren't wasn't weren't couldn't wouldn't shouldn't....
Data: <Runs out simulating crying>

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: This Romulan lighting is making me horny.
TROI: Will, everything makes you horny.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win.

Geordi: "I'm detecting high concentrations of water vapour in the air."
Riker: "I know. It's called fog."
Geordi: "Really? That's what fog is? All this time I thought it was something that just my visor picked up."

"Captain's Log, We've beamed Commander Data over to the Borg cube to download its tactical database, and as per Starfleet recommendation, his operating system has been downgraded to Windows 10 for the duration of the mission to avoid assimilation. The tactic appears to be working, although it is now the 22nd day of the away mission. We keep getting 'Not responding' error messages and system freezes."

Deanna: "Will, can you cancel the Green Alert? I keep getting an urge to cackle."

PIcard os: "This is unprecedented. Suggestions people..."
Data: "P.K.E. valances are off the scale, Captain. I believe proton accelerators and a laser confinement grid is in order."

Worf: "Worf to Captain."
Picard: "Picard here. Report. And remember I've had a real bad day. I only want good news. No bad news, good news."
Worf: "Well. There's a great opportunity for promotion in engineering!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Number one, the lights have gone out! Quickly -- take out your pocket palm flashlight and hold it to the level of my head and shine it directly into my face like a jackass even though you're only mere inches away from me. You're good at that, you know."

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Who's been messing with my filters!!!!???

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!