TNG Caption This! #372: The Great Outdoors

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry I couldn't get things going earlier, sometimes I can be early, sometimes not.

First up to the plate, we have "The Day of Reckoning has arrived..." Award, going to:

Data: Picard and Riker have isolated themselves to the ready room. Initiating Android Insurrection Protocols...

Next, we have the "Motivational Speaker" Award, going to:

Worf: Kaplah captain, may you conquer many hearts during your Risian vacation.

Next, we have the "Never mess with an Admiral's Pizza" Award, going to:

"My pizza wasn't HERE IS 30 MINUTES OR LESS!!!!!"

Next, we have the "Not popular with everyone" Award, going to:

Picard: So who's Nurse Fun Bags of Mostly Silicon?
Crusher: Fired, that's who!

Next, we have the "Guess he Wasn't Always Welcome" Award, going to:

RIKER: Everyone be quiet. He's still out there.

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Data: "Second Officer's Log, while Captain Picard is on temporary assignment, Starfleet has turned the Enterprise over to a new captain. Most of the crew seem to feel that Captain Fronken'steen is easier to get along with than Captain Jellico.

Starfleet Commander's log: This incident on the Enterprise makes me thing maybe I should get rid of Admiral Donald Sterling.

Picard: "Wallet, keys, phone... what am I forgetting?"
Crusher: "Pockets."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, with summer starting to wind down, lets remember that it's a good idea to get outside a bit (After you've captioned the photos in the new contest, of course )

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Riker to Enterprise. The home owners have left, beam down the kegs.

Picard: Darmok and Jalad at the dog park. Watch your step.

Riker: Somebody keep an eye on the kid. Nobody's ruining this for me.

Data: (over comm) Data to Commander Riker, Commander Shelby has an urgent query regarding what clothing you are presently wearing.

Riker: Ah, that new Lieutenant Chakotay is piloting a shuttle down here to pick us up. Where's the port nacelle?

Data: Over there Sir...

 

[Nerys Myk]

FRAKES: Who's idea was it to film next to an airport?

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Wil, are you in love with me ... or do you just love me?"

"Please, Jesus ... help me with this woman."

 

[Ln X]

Darmok and Jilad in the Californian bush. The landscape familiar.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Liator: "And this is Rivan. She's a moobs freak."

Riker: "How come when you bury your face in my chest it's a 'tender moment,' but if I do the same to you I'm 'being a pig'?"

Burton: "Think the viewers will buy this as an alien planet?"
Frakes: "Well, no botanists will, that's for sure."

Frakes: "Wow! That alien star looks remarkably identical to Sol!"
McFadden: "Just let it go, willya!"

 

[Armored Saint]

Thanks for the log!

DORN: Shit, they're all blonde, watch out the paranoid analyzes...

TROI: Nom nom nom nom nom nom...
RIKER: You know, having cholocate on the chest isn't really confortable.

RIVAN: You remind be what my mom told me about this Earthman called Kyle...he came here before I was born....
TROI: Imzadi is flirting with his sister! Imzadi is flirting with his sister! Imzadi is flirting with his sister! Imzadi is flirting with his sister!

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW LeadHead!

Worf: Have you noticed your boobs start to firm up?
Crusher: Oh come on, that hasn't even happened yet!

Picard: Lewis and Ed at Cahulawassee River hearing banjo music.
Tamarian: Beam me up, Scotty!

Rivan: Whatever you do, tell your crew to stay out of the picket fences. The crazy aliens in orbit are really protective of their flowers. They'll kill you as soon as look at you.
Riker: Ok, nobody tell Wesley.
All: Agreed.

Troi: We've made velcro again.

Riker: Where's Deanna and Worf? And why do I hear targs humping?

 

[Armored Saint]

BERMAN: STOP! STAAAAAHP! We can revive their romance right now. We have to forget this scene, especially the kiss.

RIKER: Hmm, I smell bacon.
BEVERLY: Yes It is...go go go...
DATA: Deal, I have his job, you have his girl.
GEORDI: It seems I owe you 30 quatloos, he's actually that dumb.

 

[Noname Given]

Riker: It'll work better if you get on your knees, Imzadi...

 

[Armored Saint]

Riker: It'll work better if you get on your knees, Imzadi...

TROI Sorry Will, I always forget not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Worf: I'm detecting some sort of robot in the immediate facility.

Stewart: I'm sorry Paul, no amount of make up will stop you being the black guy who dies.

Commander's Personal Log: I hope the Captain never hears about this, else he'll ditch the whole "The Captain doesn't go on away missions" thing and reduce me to a glorified and unimportant extra. Once again, I'll just tell him it was another planet of ugly women.

Riker: *Looking in mirror* OK Troi, you're right. I would look silly with a ZZ Top style beard.

Director: CUT!!!!!!! Once again, eyelines people...

 

[Triskelion]

Crusher: Want to see some nude sketches I made of myself?

Troi: You're right, I can hear the ocean.

 

[Alrik]

Crusher: "Who are they, Wil."

Riker: "No idea. But I do know they haven't got the first clue on lawn maintenance."

Picard: "Picard and Dathon at El Adrel? This is NOT Picard and Dathon at Wrigley's Pleasure Planet!"

Dathon: "Shaka, when the walls fell."

Picard: "Shaka, indeed. Next time I drive."

Rivan: "First Officer? I do not understand, you are warm and interesting. Not at all stuffy and wooden."

Troi: "Voyager must have made a stop."

Riker: "Let me guess. It's the beard."

Riker: "Its a bird."

Data: "It is a plane."

Crusher: "Would you two knock it off. I'm trying to do some serious work here."

 

[2takesfrakes]

>>SNORT!!!<<

 

[JirinPanthosa]

RIKER: I don't think that Zoidberg fellow was even a real chiropractor!

PICARD: Let me see if I can put this in a way you can understand. JAR JAR BINKS. HIS DIPLOMACY METHODS IDIOTIC!

WOMAN: So these are the official diplomacy uniforms for your Federation? I want to respect your customs.
RIKER: Yes, yes they are. Now let's get to the Federation official diplomacy lap dance.

The Betazoid version of a facepalm.

DATA: Commander, you keep looking around ominously, what are you looking for?
RIKER: My old friend here is being established as being way too likable for having been on screen for two minutes. I'm 90% certain something horrible is about to happen to her.

 

[AgentCoop]

Data: Commander Riker is leaning at an alarming angle...

Crusher: Yep. He's drunk again...

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: My tricorder is picking up a pathway made of a stone like material.

DATA: Mine as well. Perhaps if we follow it, we will find the natives.

RIKER: Nah, lets just go this way.

 

[Ln X]

Captain's log. I have relieved Counsellor Troi of her duties and transferred her to a transport ship.

Data: My tricorder has more processing power than yours lieutenant.
Worf: I disagree, my tricorder has both more processing power and memory capacity!
Data: I beg to differ-
Riker: Will you two knock it off!?! Enough of the dick-measuring contest!

Tasha Yar: Careful Commander, this may be a pleasure planet but hickeys, anal and oral are strictly forbidden on pain of death.

How the Tamarians would describe this scene:
Counsellor Troi at rest, her eyes closed. Commander Riker, his face red his dick flaccid.