Hmm, so Kolinahr was originally Pon Khabah. Interesting. And Surak lived 10,000 years ago in this version.
I wonder if the discrepancy between Kirk's 2.5 years as Chief of Starfleet Operations and the Enterprise's 18 months of refitting is because those lines are from different revisions. Maybe the interval was supposed to be changed in both, but one was skipped.
Interesting Kirk-Chapel scene. I can see why they cut it -- it's not essential and it slows things down a bit -- but it would've been nice if they'd left it in the novelization.
The whole cloud sequence and the preceding dialogue isn't there yet as of this draft. And it's pretty different from that point on -- a lot of the same plot points, but presented very differently and somewhat more awkwardly. (The excuse for the Ilia probe's "Tasha" nickname is horrible in this version, although the justification for her abduction is perhaps better.) Spock's personal journey is barely there at all yet; he's mainly just there to give exposition.
Whoa... Voyager 6 was meant to return to Earth? Yeah, right, like that would even be possible with nothing but some weak maneuvering thrusters. Good thing they dropped that bit.
