This woman had a bad day...

[farmkid]

So, here's a story I ran across I thought I would share. A woman wakes up in a coffin at her own funeral. Yes, she was wrongly declared dead. As if that wasn't bad enough, the shock caused her to have a heart attack and then she actually died. I guess on the plus side, the funeral arrangements were already made. They just had to change the date.

link

 

[Miss Chicken]

I wish the article had said how soon after her 'death' the original funeral was taking place.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

 

[KJbushway]

Yeah that was my first thought^.

I'd imagine that the funeral arrangments happened quickly. Does anybody know the record for the longest a person was presumed dead before they woke up?

 

[Mr Silver]

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

In Soviet Russia, dead people embalm you

 

[LitmusDragon]

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

In Soviet Russia, dead people embalm you

Against all reasoning, that joke is still funny.

 

[Kommander]

I wish something like this would happen to me. So many ways I could turn it into the funniest thing ever.

"Dammit, I was at peace and ready to cross over, but then I heard that eulogy, and I had to come back and say something. Seriously, do you know me at all?"

"God dammit, you people want me dead so badly I can't even take a nap without you stuffing me in a coffin? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm very much alive. You people, you're too much! Please tell me there's an open bar at this thing? Also, please form an orderly line so you each get a chance to kiss my ass!"

"DAAAAMN that was some good heroin! For a minute there I thought I saw the face of God. Oh, this is my funeral... and now that I think about it, I've never done heroin. Hmm... Well... why do you all look so shocked?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends, family, lovers... yeah, you know who you are. Her and I totally did it everyone. I know, right? She's hot. Anyway, I have returned from the other side because my work is not complete. I stood before the throne of God, and it was Odin. Odin is the One True God! And I his prophet!"

 

[KJbushway]

What........

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

In Soviet Russia, dead people embalm you

Against all reasoning, that joke is still funny.

And I was thinking something along those lines too, but also wondered about it in a serious way.

 

[scotpens]

Boy, talk about your double irony.

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

Yeah that was my first thought.

I'd imagine that the funeral arrangments happened quickly.

Was she Jewish?

In Soviet Russia, dead people embalm you

Against all reasoning, that joke is still funny.

Making fun of Yakov Smirnoff is funnier than Yakov Smirnoff.

 

[ancientone51]

"I am not dead, yet"

 

[{ Emilia }]

Well, what can I say...

happened to Jesus, too I think?

 

[ares93]

Well, what can I say...

happened to Jesus, too I think?

Nah, you're way off.

 

[sojourner]

Man, that was great.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

"Paging Dr. Blade. Dr. Blade to the ER, please."

Yeah, I'm going straight to Hell.


Seriously though, that must have been horrifying both for her and her family. Poor lady.

 

[RJDiogenes]

The amusing part is the guy who commented that this will start happening in America because of Obamacare. I'm trying to figure out the logic. Does he think that embalming is part of health care? Does he think the death panels will be too incompetent to actually kill people? Does he think doctors will be falsely declaring people dead so they can double bill?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I guess on the plus side, the funeral arrangements were already made. They just had to change the date.

I'm already thinking of Nikita Khrushchev's "We will bury you..." speech.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Boy, talk about your double irony.

Don't they enbalm dead people in Russia?

Yeah that was my first thought.

I'd imagine that the funeral arrangments happened quickly.

Was she Jewish?

Do the Jewish not get embalmed?

I know they don't have autopsies done.

 

[KJbushway]

Guess that makes murders easy to get away with then. ^

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

^ I suppose there could be exceptions.

They don't do them when a person dies of natural causes.