Probably a "done to death" subject when people confide in their close friends. Here's mine I'm now 59 (going on 24), an ageing man, more than middle aged now, and my regret is not learning how to play guitar earlier in life. I did not start to play until my partner bought me a guitar as a birthday gift when I turned 53. I've went through periods of intense learning, with a tutor, and in the company of a small group of like minded and similar level players. Recently I've stopped playing along with others for one reason or another, and now I find myself regressing, and not being enthusiastic anymore. I know I've left it too late in life to be what I strived to be, ie a proficient musician who could perform in public, maybe if I'd learned at an early age, then by 59 I'd be highly skilled. It's a real bummer for me. When I hear myself play, it doesn't sound, to me, as if I'm playing the same instrument as millions of others, not that I'm completely hopeless, just maybe stuck in my ways and have picked up bad habits. What's others bugbears in life, what grinds your gears, and what do you regret not doing ?
I wish I'd gotten into baseball earlier in my life. I only got into it in late 2007, when I was already well into adulthood (I turn 50 this year). If I'd grown up with the love of baseball that I now enjoy, my life might have turned out a lot different.
I wish I had had the courage to come out in my teens/early 20’s. Still haven’t really done it, IRL at least. It’s not even really about telling people but rather not caring if someone knows.
Regrets.. no, you make your choices and you live with them, looking back is easier than looking forward, you've gained experience and with that you have the luxury to look back and be able to weigh other options that you were not able to see then, no regrets for me, wishes, yes, that is another thing, those I do have.
I wish I had had the endurance to learn another language. Italian and Spanish for instance. I'm too lazy now to fight myself through tons of vocabulary and grammar......
Due to buying property in Spain, I've also tried learning Spanish these last two years. Every time I go there its usually for short periods of time, maybe two weeks at most, and I try to communicate in my pigeon Spanish, each time I think I'm improving, but when I return I forget a lot of things I've learned. I think taking on a new language is easier for a younger mind.
My regrets involve music as well, only in the reverse. I started playing and writing songs when I was in junior high. By the time I was 21 I was making a living as a performing singer/songwriter. And starting to get somewhere. I'd busk during the day, play coffee shops and pubs in the evenings. I was written about in a local arts magazine, interviewed by a radio station and... was in a really unhealthy relationship with an older woman who told me I should forget about music and focus on a traditional 9-5 career. So I gave up on music. Then in my 30s I wanted to get back into it and started again. And got out of it again. Another very unhealthy relationship. I actually pleaded with that one to try couples counselling. We had one session, went back for the second and she was asked to leave the room. When she did the shrink looked at me and said "I can't do anything for the two of you, you need to get away from her." I didn't listen. I stayed. It damn near killed me. Spent my 40th contemplating suicide after over seven years of hell. Now, in my 40s I want to get it back. And in some ways it's easier now to promote yourself and reach an audience thanks to the internet but... I just turned 47 a few days ago. I have no desire to gig in bars (never liked it anyhow) and I don't know anyone anymore. I've tried putting together a studio band because writing and recording has always been what I liked most. But it's hard meeting good people you can click with and work with. I don't do clubs and and open mic nights so I've just been posting ads online. I've only met two people I really wanted to work with. Neither can commit and others I've met... well, I wouldn't even want to have a coffee and conversation let alone work with them. My wife (and I wish we'd met 20 years ago) keeps telling me to just do it all myself. I'm a multi-instrumentalist with a lot of gear. I have everything I need to record all the albums I want by myself but I don't have the motivation. It's not the same feel when you're overdubbing all the parts yourself compared to the energy and "groove" you find when five people are playing together. So yeah, I wish I avoided two very bad relationships and stayed committed to my art.
Great post That's my life now when I'm motivated Play, record and overdub on my own, minus the genuine talent I really miss playing with a "band" though, I get what you're saying
Yeah... playing in a band... it's not just the energy, it's arranging too, taking a song in a different direction because someone comes at it from a different perspective like "Hey, what if so and so does such and such after the second verse?" And I don't know about you but I find I get clinical and detached when overdubbing. I stop playing with feeling and start playing more, um, like a robot. Precision without passion.
I regret not getting into Star Trek TNG when I was younger. (I'm not even really to blame - there was simply no one there who could have introduced me to it when I was a kid, no one in my family watched any kind of science fiction.) It might have inspired me to become a different person than the one I grew into - I was an ill-tempered, bully-ish jerk in my teenage days. I always wonder if watching TNG in particular - it would have been the show for me to watch timeline-wise, I was 6 when it premiered over here in 1990 - would have turned me away from that bully path sooner in life. It did manage turn me away from it when I finally watched it when I was 19, so it did accomplish its mission, only over a decade later, but still. What if, what if.
That I didn't stick with writing. Like everything else in my life, giving it up was a cerebral palsy health related issue. But I've been reading over my old stuff lately, and while it all reads like a high schooler wrote it (which I was at the time) I've already thought of several ways to improve it. My fear is that I will be 50 in April and that plus the current state of my health (most 75 year olds are better off than me), I won't be able to keep up with the pressures of publisher deadlines and all that goes with that.
I'm trying to come to terms with my mistakes as I approach my 40th birthday. There are some jobs I regret leaving. I regret wearing out and tearing my meniscus during my 30s. What I would give to be able to run again. So I regret not being smarter and more prudent in my younger days. I would have loved to have gotten into bodybuilding when I younger as opposed to getting into it in my mid 30s.
Meh. I don't regret things as much as when I was younger. I do wish I had gone to a smaller college and work my way up toward some kind of biology career. But I don't really regret because it would have meant a much lonelier life than what I have now. I could have gone to a different place when I decided to be science teacher. There were better...and even free places, but it would have meant none of the hurdles I've gone through. I'd be in less debt, but I wouldn't be as wise, seasoned and would be a boring science teacher (and might not have lasted) if I hadn't taken that path. It's easy to regret things. I just don't.
I don't really have the skill to be "clinical" while playing, even in a home recording situation. I tend to get Red Light Fever, jumping in too fast, playing off the click or beat. In a band, I could play along no problem, maybe it was the human aspect of others' input, especially a good drummer and bass player. In a home recording scenario I tend to convince myself that one or two takes is more "Rock n Roll", when in actual fact it just means I lack motivation to be better. My equipment is not exactly state of the art either, finance is an issue, I do my best to create because I know that there's zero likelihood of ever releasing work, although I did create a Soundcloud account, only to realise that I'm the worst guy on it. Going back to my original point, had I taken up guitar as a young teen, then by now there's every chance I'd be a "musician"
Regrets? I've had a few, but then again too few to mention. Actually I wish I would have stayed in baseball as a kid. I was good, but I got sick of the practicing and games by the time I was in eighth grade. My talents probably wouldn't have taken my beyond High School ball, but I wish I would have stuck it out.
I should have gotten serious about fitness ten years earlier than I did. I could have looked like Ah-nold by now. Kor
Like everything but the nerd in me keeps reminding me of the Grandfather Paradox and how if I changed anything the world would change as well and everyone in it, me included would be dead either the traditional way or dead in that a new version of everyone would be around instead of the current version. Still I also wish I had gotten into Trek and Sci-Fi early and also not been so much a prude. Even if my kid years were the same I still wish I would have finished my senior high school year living with my dad. I was actually changing but I regressed when I came back to live with my mom. Jason