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Theatrical trailer for my short film "Fallen" now online

JacksonArcher

JacksonArcher

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The theatrical trailer for my short film Fallen is now online. Fallen tells the story of beloved hero Ephraim (Brian Kavanaugh), who has decided to turn his back on the city that he had sworn to protect. He must contend with the scared population of the city that vows for his return, including a lone police officer (Errol McLendon), a vigilante (Andrew Staton), and a frightened boy (Harrison Boxley).

http://www.vimeo.com/12871420

Thoughts, comments, welcome.
 
I am not feeling it...I think it is interesting...you need a better trailer...I don't know what that might be...but watch your favorite film trailers and try to capture what you liked about those. :)

I am happy for you. :bolian:
 
It's great at the start, kind of lags in the middle and then picks up again at the end.

I'd definitely rework it a little, but you're very firmly on the right track with this thing. Very cool.
 
I'm gonna have to agree. This being a action superhero movie, you need just that, Action!
Which this kind of lacked. Maybe not focus so much of the attention on that one scene between those 2 characters. Use bits and pieces of other scenes, in addition to that scene to build a brief narrative of what the movie is gonna be about. I'm not saying you need to go all Michael Bay or anything with quick MTV style cuts, but for a trailer it certainly helps. From an editor's viewpoint, if you don't mind some constructive criticism that is.

If i had to dissect your trailer. Considering I don't know what other shots you have to work with and I know you don't want to spoil too much like most trailers do.

I would probably start by holding onto that cityscape shot longer before it cuts away to the text that says: THIS SUMMER, (which personally I would just ditch altogether)

-The movie is about the guy right? So I would replace that dolly shot of the woman with a shot of the guy, the hero. (preferably looking out over the city like she's doing)

-And then show a series of action shots, not just one shot of the car drifting around the corner. Because the next text says: WHEN THE CITY FALLS, (show more urgency of danger than just that car shot) HE'LL FIGHT FOR US (but yet you didn't show any fighting.)

-Then introduce a quick synopsis of the story using the dialogue in the movie using multiple scenes (either showing a piece of it or using it as a voice over) not just the one, like i mentioned earlier. Because to be frank, I didn't really know what was going on with her dialogue. I'm sure I would if I saw the whole context of that scene because as it is now, something's missing. Show some tension, show a big threat. Show why he's fighting to protect the city, etc.

-More action. The last shot should be your most epic shot.

-As far as the text goes. Rule of thumb is essentially to hold onto text long enough for your viewer to read it. I would also probably either change the font to something that is easier to read, make it slightly smaller or pull the tracking on it in, so that it fits in the screen more.

-Your music was barely audible. Make it louder. Get our attention! Maybe needs more cowbell.

- The audio on the dialogue needs to be cleaned and sweetened up more too. You need to stamp out some of that "NAT" Sound. Dialogue sounds kind of flat and hollow. Needs to sound bold and beautiful.

But yeah. Other than that can't wait to see it!
 
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You guys are amazing for the constructive criticisms. I am putting together yet another trailer which will hopefully be much better, incorporating all of your thoughts and criticisms. Hopefully this new trailer will give a much clearer sense of the story. I'm also putting in some of the film's special effects shots to also enhance the trailer as well.
 
Good. I look forward to seeing it.

Obviously you've got the right head on your shoulders for putting together the best film and/or trailer possible, that's definitely a good thing to have coming out of the gate.
 
oh and about the audio again, don't forget to level it out, so it doesn't peak and sound all distorted on our speakers. godspeed!
 
I liked the scoring of it, i just couldn't hear it all that well. I'm sure the 2nd cut of tge trailer will be fantastic.
 
No Ephraim has turned his back on the city prior to the crisis that unfolds in the story...Jackson must have meant vies as was stated before. I liked the trailer which is the first time we see Bethany but felt her scenes fell flat and deterred from the action. I look forward to seeing this film and the second trailer when it's finished.
 
Admiral_Young said:
No Ephraim has turned his back on the city prior to the crisis that unfolds in the story...Jackson must have meant vies as was stated before.
Click to expand...

Vie
–verb (used without object)
1. to strive in competition or rivalry with another; contend for superiority: Swimmers from many nations were vying for the title.

–verb (used with object)
2. Archaic. to put forward in competition or rivalry.
3. Obsolete. to stake in card playing.

Hmm ... nope. ;)
 
JacksonArcher said:
While you guys wait patiently for a new trailer (I hope), here's another clip from the film:

http://www.vimeo.com/12941843

To preface that scene, Bethany is the villainous of the film, and she's taunting our hero, Ephraim.
Click to expand...

Ahhh that makes more sense. She's the villain! Yeah I totally did not get that as I stated before. Thought she was being a cock tease or something. "you can't have any of this unless you go out and fight the baddies!"
 
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