The Therapy Thread

[AstroSmurf]

Hey kids! I thought it would be nifty if we had a nice quiet place for everyone to unload their emotional baggage, old and new. If you have something you need to get off your chest, post it here. If you need advice, you can ask for it here. If you need a shoulder to cry on, we have plenty of tissues.

But before we get started, there are some rules.
1. You may not talk about something or someone on this message board. If you can’t deal with each other as adults don’t bring it in here.
2. No real names. You may be diddling your neighbor but we shouldn’t know who they are.
3. Keep it clean and legal. I am too cute and smurfy to be turning State’s evidence.
4. No judgements. If you can’t say something positive about someone’s problem keep your trap shut. This is meant to be a positive healthy environment.

Now let’s get started. So how are you today? How was work? How is the family? Sit on the couch and tell us all about it.

I’m listening.

 

[trekkiedane]

How is the family?

Weird.

My exceptionally controlling mum doesn't accept that my sis is in the process of divorce and my -equally controlling- sis can't seem to sit down with her mum and explain herself (I'm guessing she's foreseeing problems in explaining how she now is living with her employer).

The whole divorce thing isn't really a problem for me (and by the hour becoming less so to my brother in law -I've actually had more contact with him than my sister since this thing started) - but having mum and sis not able to talk to each other is somewhat bothersome to me.

They (pretty much everyone who knows me) call me 'conflict shy' (in Danish that's a word, does it exist in English?), and, yes; I don't see any reason to become all emotional about most things -along the line of 'there's no problem so big that a nice pair of running shoes can't get you out of it' so I suppose there's some truth therein

BUT, how do I instigate some kind of truce in the family that would make it possible for people (mum and sis) to be in the same room without throwing quips at each other? -Should I (really?) just lean back and stay out of it or is there something I could do, some 'trick' I could employ, that would make it possible for people to enjoy the little things and forget about the big ones for a couple of hours at a time?

I'm especially sad because my nephew is coming of age (what an antiquated term!) in a week and it would be nice if everyone who loves him could be there to celebrate it with him!

 

[RJDiogenes]

They (pretty much everyone who knows me) call me 'conflict shy' (in Danish that's a word, does it exist in English?)

"Smart."

I don't know if there's anything I myself need therapy about. Sometimes I do get a little melancholy, but that's unavoidable in an imperfect world. I wish I had a larger house in a more rural area that I could enjoy. I wish I had more time for my artistic pursuits. I wish I could figure out a way to reach more people with my books and artwork and stuff. I wish I could meet a woman who could eclipse that one certain woman who is lurking in my past. I wish they still made Funny Face and Star Trek, and that Arthur C Clarke and Isaac Asimov were alive. But, overall, I'm a pretty happy camper.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Dear AstroSmurf.

I think I like how painkillers make me act.

They seem to be like a truth drug for me.

Since I've been on them ~ so far I have:

Told my boss and my workmates what I really think about them.

Pointed out to my Man that he really needs to 'shape up' ~ as in our getting married and a place together.

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

but then, had a very amusing (to us at least) early morning [moaning], getting Son off to college only speaking with in the way the French Policeman in 'Allo Allo'. ie; and 'I have got you a truple branch sindach for your linch bux'

Do I need help?

 

[trekkiedane]

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

Lake of Tears or Jeff Wayne?

'Cuz I can do the latter and you wouldn't have to buy me, you could just bring me -plus: I wouldn't be all that random

 

[RJDiogenes]

Dear AstroSmurf.

I think I like how painkillers make me act.

They seem to be like a truth drug for me.

Since I've been on them ~ so far I have:

Told my boss and my workmates what I really think about them.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I'm getting kind of stressed out by an ongoing conflict between some of my coworkers.

A woman, let's call her "J", started working at this place the same day I did. We also worked at the same company previously, so I've known her a long time. She's a bit high strung, very meticulous and detail-oriented. This company, on the other hand, is very fast-paced and chaotic. You often have to make snap decisions about how to solve a problem, and just do it and worry about the consequences later. It comes back to bite us in the ass a lot, to be sure, but it's a difficult hole to dig out of.

Well, we have "F", who has been working on this product for almost 20 years, and "A", who used to own the company and is good friends with F. Since J and I started working on this product, we've tried to improve it, as well as implement a development process so we can control its evolution better. F and A have been fairly receptive to my ideas, but they've been jerking J around a lot. She came to me today and told me she was taken off of yet another project mid-stream. She said they do this to her all the time--let her get part of the way through a project, then give it to someone else and drop a different project into her lap.

Now, she brings some of this on herself because of her attitude. She blows up at F on a pretty regular basis. She's very argumentative in general, not to mention impatient. I've definitely had my moments where I've gone off at F, but I've made an effort not to do that. She is just getting more and more stressed and feels like they are purposely jerking her around to drive her out the door. I would not be surprised if they are, because she's made a lot of waves and doesn't really have any friends within the team, other than myself. I've tried to calm her down and I've offered to help her when she's working in an area where I am knowledgeable, but she's even taken to snapping at me.

It's a shitty situation, particularly for her, but I don't think anybody else is too happy with it, either. Our last boss actually quit because of the hostility and general uncooperativeness of the team, so now we answer to the CFO, who is almost never there, and certainly isn't around enough to impact our day-to-day interactions. The only other person who has tried to defuse the situation is L, who is basically A's future replacement--he is transitioning his knowledge and responsibilities to her. She has had talks with us about getting along better and acting as a team, and I've taken them to heart, but I think they've largely fallen on deaf ears when it comes to the others.

Two members of our team have retired in the past year, and they were old-timers who'd been with the company 20+ years. I would've expected that to make things better for J--fewer people to argue with!--but now we all have more responsibility and the pressure is obviously getting to her. That she feels like she can't go to anyone else for help (other than me, and she always apologizes for bothering me) is upsetting her.

There's no way I would quit my job over any of this, though. It's just additional stress that is really not necessary. We have enough work to do without being dicks to each other!

Whew. So, yeah.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Do I need help?

No. But I may be the wrong person to ask about this. I act like that ALL the time and I am not on any drugs whatsoever. If you are going to be on these painkillers for a long period of time I would learn to edit yourself. Sometimes just letting whatever comes to mind fall out of your mouth can lead to really bad things happening. I could have avoided several fist fights if I had just kept my big trap shut.


And trekkiedane it pains me to no end to hear about your sister an mum. I am especially troubled about the nephew. He shouldn't have to suffer (at all) for everyone else's emotional garbage. Can we say selfish, boys and girls? Sounds like some people need to be taken out to the wood shed. I wish I had something better or more helpful to say.

I also wish more people would do like my family does. When things get like that we get into a huge fight, throw stuff, scream, cry and curse. Then after the dust clears we all hug, clean up the mess, call it finished and move on. It is completely forgotten. We may not have anything that hasn't been glued back together three or four times but we are an emotionally satisfied and loving group of people.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

Lake of Tears or Jeff Wayne?

'Cuz I can do the latter and you wouldn't have to buy me, you could just bring me -plus: I wouldn't be all that random

Jeff Wayne. But I demand the guitar solos and the keyboards and I will not do the wobbly 'Cos you're not here' ~ Oh ok I lie! It wouldn't be the same without it!
They have a chap at the place I'm planing to sing it that plays the sax, so you reckon he could do the whole track?

Dear AstroSmurf.

I think I like how painkillers make me act.

They seem to be like a truth drug for me.

Since I've been on them ~ so far I have:

Told my boss and my workmates what I really think about them.

Hey ~ they've been really nice to be since ~ I have released my Klingon within And they now now that!
Don't quote me on this EVER but sometimes drugs are good

 

[RJDiogenes]

Yes, sometimes they are.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Pointed out to my Man that he really needs to 'shape up' ~ as in our getting married and a place together.

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

Maybe you should elaborate. These two seem like they may be at odds with each other.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Do I need help?

No. But I may be the wrong person to ask about this. I act like that ALL the time and I am not on any drugs whatsoever. If you are going to be on these painkillers for a long period of time I would learn to edit yourself. Sometimes just letting whatever comes to mind fall out of your mouth can lead to really bad things happening. I could have avoided several fist fights if I had just kept my big trap shut. .

It so is the case of not being able to 'shut your mouth'. Whatever is in your head has to come out. I like my wine and I'm happy to sit around and talk rubbish for hours, but I've never been as assertive as I found out I was on these tablets.

I have come off the powerful painkillers because I realised they were changing my personality. As interesting as it has been to see my Klingon side come out, I have realised, as K'Ehleyr did, she was primarily human.
It also has been interesting to see how people have reacted to me, Basically whilst I was 'off my head' on these drugs, I was much more confident and decisive. Hopefully these echos will stay in peoples' heads and they will realise I'm not to be played with after these awful drugs come out of me.

But I will remember the feeling of how good it feels to say what you think. And I hope I can do it on my own next time.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Well T'Bonz yelled at me for the first time the other day. I genuinely felt all depressed for like two days. I am not sure if I need therapy for my depression or my incredibly weenie-like over-sensitivity though. All I know is I am thinking of hitting the road with a backpack while some guy plays sad piano music behind me.

 

[trekkiedane]

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

Lake of Tears or Jeff Wayne?

'Cuz I can do the latter and you wouldn't have to buy me, you could just bring me -plus: I wouldn't be all that random

Jeff Wayne.

Phew, In kinda knew that -but you could have changed...

But I demand the guitar solos and the keyboards and I will not do the wobbly 'Cos you're not here' ~ Oh ok I lie! It wouldn't be the same without it!

Ok, no problem, I'll do them -but then I'd want the narrations (Sure, I don't sound anything like him, but what man wouldn't want to? - I mean some play air-guitar b/c they think they are Hendrix, I'd rather do narration and think I'm Burton )
(Youtube OST for those who haven't the faintest!)

They have a chap at the place I'm planing to sing it that plays the sax, so you reckon he could do the whole track?

The dad of my nephew could do some weird stuff on a sax, -sure why not?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Pointed out to my Man that he really needs to 'shape up' ~ as in our getting married and a place together.

Bought random men home from the pub for drinking, smoking and singing along to "Forever Autumn".

Maybe you should elaborate. These two seem like they may be at odds with each other.

Ok sorry for double posting but only just saw DJs post

As you read it back it does sound a bit odd.
I was out with my 'consort' Barry, a chap I used to work with. Fully condoned by Man.
I bumped into a couple of young chaps and doing a random 'pop quiz' asked them what they thought about cannabis smoking as I'm having a problem with my son on that score.

Then joined by a chap 'S' I knew from a pub I used to work in and we all thought it would be a good plan (!???) that they all came back to mine and spoke sense to my son.
Bumped into Man at supermarket after buying copious amounts of beer and wine and we all ended up here.

Man is very cool that I was having a good time. Son didn't listen to a word that they said. And I had a great text from 'S' the next day saying 'I'm in real trouble, if I meet you in town with 'girl' this never happened ok?'

And he'd bought me flowers

 

[trekkiedane]

/.../about cannabis smoking as I'm having a problem with my son on that score.
/.../ thought it would be a good plan (!???) that they all came back to mine and spoke sense to my son.
/.../Son didn't listen to a word that they said.

Again: should've brought me; i wouldn't need to 'talk sense' just tell the story of my life -would've worked!

 

[K'Ehleyr]

That's what my think was ~ but the fact they lit a dooby up kinda ruined the plan!
Am actually rehersing 'Forever Autumn' now. And as you referred to the narration I'm thinking of double betting and getting Son to do that

 

[trekkiedane]

That's what my think was ~ but the fact they lit a dooby up kinda ruined the plan!

Didn't they begin to sound stupid after that? -should've worked.

Am actually rehersing 'Forever Autumn' now. And as you referred to the narration I'm thinking of double betting and getting Son to do that

Hadda put it on (luckily it's the one album I've bought thrice* (and DLed)) so it's never a far fetch.




__________
*) LP, CC and CD (and FLAC)

 

[K'Ehleyr]

That's what my think was ~ but the fact they lit a dooby up kinda ruined the plan!

Didn't they begin to sound stupid after that? -should've worked.

Am actually rehersing 'Forever Autumn' now. And as you referred to the narration I'm thinking of double betting and getting Son to do that

Hadda put it on (luckily it's the one album I've bought thrice* (and DLed)) so it's never a far fetch.






__________
*) LP, CC and CD (and FLAC)

I can listen to it all the time, it has my idols in ~ Phil Lynott, Julie Covington, David Essex and 'The Yoice Himself ~ Mr Burton'!
Must admit to not knowing who Justin Haywood was before but will slap my own wrist on that!

Well the whole thing was not a very well thought out plan. One of the guys was a bit of a waster and tried to advise Son on drugs. I also had to face him off a bit, but he backed downed when I beat him at arm wrestling.

The other chap, however, was quite cool and charming and Son mentioned that he'd 'seen him around' ~ please don't let that mean I've invited his dealer to drinks and nibbles.

Have now emailed a singing teacher we know for tips ~ her tips are 'never sing from the diaphrapm ~ always sing from the vagina' This should be fun! I'll be in Thailand soon earning a fortune!

Sorry to hijack your thread Smurf! I'm def off to bed now ~ should have been there 3 hours ago [people agree]. G'nite X

 

[trekkiedane]

'never sing from the diaphrapm ~ always sing from the vagina' This should be fun! I'll be in Thailand soon earning a fortune!

Sorry to hijack your thread Smurf!

I agree, sorry 'bout that!