The Ewoks did WHAT after Endor? Minor Aftermath: Life Debt spoiler

[JD]

I haven't read the book, but Io9 posted a story about what the Ewoks did post Endor according to Aftermath: Life Debt. Apparently the Ewoks volunteered to become therapy companions for Republic soldiers. This is a mixture of insane, awesome and ridiculous. It's easily the craziest thing I've heard about the new canon so far.

 

[Guy Gardener]

All those Storm Trooper helmets on sticks at the party at the end of Jedi had decapitated human heads in them. The heads were on sticks (and wrapped in plastisteel) so that they could be flame baked in the bon fire and then be eaten.

What everyone in that village including Luke, Leia and Han did after Jedi is take a dump in the woods, and those dumps were %95 Stormtrooper DNA.

Therapy animals my ass.

It's order 66 all over again, except this time they're not purging Jedi, but junking all the emotional simpletons soiling the gene pool with their peacenik hippisms.

The only way to stop an Ewok from eating you when the order comes down from the top to start the purge, is if they are in love with you, and that means you have to have already had to have been f##king them for a while for one of those furballs to treasonously disobey orders.

 

[Reverend]

Reading the actual extract, I'm pretty sure the doctor was being sarcastic. At least I hope he was.

 

[The Wormhole]

Isn't one of the characters in the Aftermath series a former Imperial officer who through circumstances is now working with the Republic? And for that matter, wasn't he stationed at the Endor bunker? I can't imagine a therapy Ewok would help him out very much, since the Ewoks attacked his former comrades and possibly even ate them.

Can you imagine, he wakes up in the middle of the night from a PTSD-related nightmare of Ewoks eating his friends and decides to go for a walk to calm himself down. As soon as he steps into the corridor outside his quarters he turns a corner and standing right there is an Ewok. I'm pretty sure that would make his anxieties skyrocket.