The Derelict: A Star Trek Fan Production

Discussion in 'Fan Productions' started by AaronJay, Sep 9, 2017.

  1. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Hi Everyone!

    It has been a while but the team behind 'Needs of the Many' are thrilled to release our brand new short film: 'The Derelict: A Star Trek Fan Production'.

    Two officers are sent to retrieve the Earth Cargo Vessel 'North Star' found adrift in deep space. What they uncover on board, might not be worth rescuing.



    Starring Jessica Niven, Zach Clifford and Mario J. Rouse, with Olivier Charlton and Bradley Camm.
    Based upon 'Star Trek' created by Gene Roddenberry. Music by Dennis McCarthy. Costume Design by Gina Vanderkley. Make-Up Effects by Andrew David and Traumasim. On-Set Assistance by Alex McVey and Ron Vanderkley. Cinematography by Clayton Orgles. Written and Directed by Aaron Vanderkley.

    We're very proud of this one, so we hope you enjoy!
     
  2. USS Intrepid

    USS Intrepid Commodore Commodore

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    Nice work, I enjoyed that. :)
     
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  3. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    Bravo! My only quibble was that deer in the headlights scene: The guy was armed with a phaser and yet merely stood there wide-eyed while being bull-rushed. There was too much time elapsed between the recognition and take down, a directorial timing issue. He wasn't "taken by surprise", merely froze inexplicably.

    Me, overthinking. Great job though!!
     
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  4. Philip Guyott

    Philip Guyott Captain Captain

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    That was great. The acting and story was excellent. The sets have greatly improved since 'Needs of the Many'. I would have liked it to have been a little longer (because I liked it so much), but all credit to you for not unnecessarily making it longer then it needed to be. :bolian:
    I can see your point, however it is not inconceivable that someone might freeze under those circumstances. Granted he had about three seconds in which to respond to the situation, but he's processing a lot of information (he was distracted by the airlock) and it was very dark.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2017
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  5. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    Have to add the title of the ep brought a Zoolander scene to mind. :p
     
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  6. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Thanks Nick! :)

    Thanks Borgminister! Yeah, that is a fair point. The rational for the scene in my head would be Philip's answer... :nyah:

    ...but the shot could have been a bit faster, or maybe if he threw his phase pistol up in the air only for it to be too late? Either way, something for next time ;)

    Thanks so much Philip! Very glad you liked it. It has been a while since 'Needs of the Many' so hopefully we've been able to take all we learnt in that exercise and make this project even better! I was actually surprised how long this one ended up being, and was worried it might be too 'talkie' but glad you felt otherwise! :biggrin:

    Ahaha!
     
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  7. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    Like I said, miner armchair quarterback quibble... :) overall quality akin to (IMO) that pacific fanfilm that'll eventually come out I hope....
     
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  8. Sgt_G

    Sgt_G Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I thought, overall, it was pretty good. I, too, had a problem with the way the guy with the phaser froze like that. But for me, the big thing was the ending felt a little flat. I kind of want to see Part Two to rap it up better. Again, overall = good job.
     
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  9. dmac

    dmac Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I was only expecting the closer shot would be a close up of the Poseidon's Captain as his eyes snapped shut and open again.
     
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  10. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Thank you, although sorry to hear you thought the ending fell flat. I would definitely be interested to hear your thoughts as to why it did, for next time. No Part Two on this story, I'm afraid.

    Great idea! That certainly would've been an interesting cliffhanger, although we were keen to end the story where it was. Thanks for watching :)
     
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  11. USS Intrepid

    USS Intrepid Commodore Commodore

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    No film is perfect, and there are always things we know we could have done better (sometimes a lot better). Is the film perfect? No. But I enjoyed it a lot. As far as the ending, I think it was perfect as is. For me, having the Poseidon's captain wake up at the end would have been cliched and dull. I like it as it is, though as always YMMV. :)
     
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  12. Noname Given

    Noname Given Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Wow - excellent job all around here - but I really must say whomever did the sound design and sound effects editing on this one REALLY knocked that aspect out of the park.

    My one nitpick though - once the body (clearly murdered too) stuffed in the compartment was discovered, you'd think he'd make a call back to the Challenger and maybe request some security beamed over; or at least give them an update? ;)
     
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  13. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Thank you so much for your feedback! I actually did the sound design for this one, and Clayton (our DOP) polished the dialogue for the final mix, so very pleased you enjoyed it.

    I could quote Starfleet Regulation 476.9, which says that Away Team personnel only need to report to the bridge "at least once" every 24hrs, however...that is an excellent point! Ahaha! Let's just say he was young and thought he could handle it himself .
     
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  14. Reanok

    Reanok Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I really like the fact this fanfilm take s place during the Enterprise tv series. I think it's really good.:techman:
     
  15. King Daniel Beyond

    King Daniel Beyond Admiral Admiral

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    That was really well done!
     
  16. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Very glad you enjoyed it! The original intention was to do the story set in the TOS-era, to the point where we even purchased the costumes, but for a number of factors (notwithstanding the sheer amount of fan productions set during that time period) we decided against it. Plus, my dad REALLY loves Enterprise so I guess in a way I'm making more for him. :hugegrin:

    Thank you so much! :)
     
  17. MikeH92467

    MikeH92467 Admiral Admiral

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    Nicely done indeed! Very creepy, good story, technical aspects excellent. Just on the nitpicky side, I thought there was a little bit of a bumpy edit during an early two shot, but that's very, very small. Also...NO cringe inducing moments. :beer:
     
  18. AaronJay

    AaronJay Ensign Red Shirt

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    Thank you so much for the feedback! Glad you enjoyed it :)
     
  19. billtfargo

    billtfargo Ensign Red Shirt

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    Very nicely done. Enjoy the Enterprise era story
     
  20. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

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    A step up from Needs of the Many to be sure!
    • I like the simplicity and restraint shown here. No ship flybys, no everyone-and-their-mother title sequence. That said... I get no sense of the size of this shipwreck, so I am left wondering why only two people are sent over.
    • The lighting is pretty good as is the camera work.
    • I laughed when she tricorder-ed the blood. That's so modern Trek to jam a device at something. More visceral for a suspense film for her to poke a finger into it.
    • Speaking of suspense, I think you did a pretty good job with it, albeit in a few spots you could have gotten a better shock/surprise if you'd thwarted our expectations of WHEN the boo was going to happen.
    • I kept wondering why no one from the Challenger was calling to check on them. Seriously.
    • And why the Hell did the Lt. not call the Challenger once the body showed up?
    • Yeah, the Lt. freezing makes no sense. It's not like he's caught off guard... he's been walking around with his weapon drawn looking for trouble.
    A few observations from a fellow filmmaker. I realize you are probably aware of much of this, but just in case...
    • While the audio mix was nice I had some issues with the levels because the thumpy music sometimes overwhelms the dialog because...
    • ...the actors are kinda mumbly, especially the Lt.
    • There are some jump cut issues. An example right off the bat at 0:50 where the flashlight jumps and the actress moves her finger to the communicator lid both before and after the cut. Then in the hallway the actor looks up in the wide shot and then again in the closeup. It's really tricky to find exactly the right frame to do such cuts on, but worth it because these jump cuts are distracting.
    • You crossed The Line twice during the "zap" and it was really noticeable.
    • The fade out on the last shot was bland because it's a not a greatly framed shot. It would have been a sharper ending to just smash cut to black exactly as the door shuts.
    Nitpicks aside, again. nice job!