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The Borg need a Copy Writer

ebusinesstutor

ebusinesstutor

Lieutenant
Red Shirt
Does anyone else think the The Borg from Star Trek need the services of a good copywriter?

“Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

I mean, come on. This doesn’t sound very attractive at all. No wonder races fight instead of surrendering.

Perhaps they should assimilate a professional copywriter…anyone got one they want to suggest?

​
I can see the new headlines now:

  • Never Be LonelyAgain!
  • Gain Great Strength and Enhanced Vision Overnight!
  • Join Today And See The Galaxy!
  • Instantly Gain The Knowledge of 10,000 Races!
  • Join Us In Our Quest For Perfection!
  • Suffering From ANY Disease? Free Nanoprobe Cure!
  • Conquer Insomnia With Our Attractive Alcoves!
  • Frustrated By Computers? Try Our Direct Interface!
And maybe a few bonus offers:

  • Choice Of Appendage Color For The First 100 Signups
  • Your Choice of Appendage Tool If You Signup By Midnight Tonight
And why not a totally awesome, “30 Day Free Trial.” Of course, once their individuality is gone, you don’t have to worry about refunds, anyway.
icon_smile.gif
 
Nice! How about. . . "If you've worked in a cubicle, trust us, this is a step up!!!"

Ways being Assimilated by the Borg is a step up from your cubicle job.

They get to walk around.
Their headsets are wireless.
They don't take cra* from disgruntled customers; they assimilate them.
Their office travels.
Their job entails blowing lots of stuff up.
Their direct neural connection beats the stuffing out of your restricted office network.
 
Haha! Excellent. If they got a PR guy at the same time we might have had The Borg as Voyager's comic relief!... er... wait... yeah. -_-

This reminds me of one of my all time favorite Seven of Nine quotes:

Borg Queen: They should be. They've left behind their trivial, selfish lives, and they've been reborn with a greater purpose. We've delivered them from chaos into order.
Seven of Nine: Comforting words. Use them next time instead of "Resistance is futile." You may elicit a few volunteers.


-Withers-​
 
Hee hee.
Hows about: Join us - get a free tin can opener - on your arm.

Right enough. The Borg are like a REALLy clingy girlfriend. As hard as you might try, there's just no way of dumping them. 'It's not you - its the billions in the Collective!'
 
The PR guys could flavor the pitches for individual races. For the Klingons" Today is a good day to tool-and-die."
 
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
 
^^^Perhaps. When it comes to making puns, I try resisting, but resistance is futile.
 
mirandafave said:
Hee hee.
Hows about: Join us - get a free tin can opener - on your arm.

Right enough. The Borg are like a REALLy clingy girlfriend. As hard as you might try, there's just no way of dumping them. 'It's not you - its the billions in the Collective!'
Click to expand...

Dude, the Borg are just really not that into you... Ya don't hear this too often i guess!
 
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