The birdemic has begun!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Canadave, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. Canadave

    Canadave Vice Admiral Admiral

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    About half an hour ago, I'm walking home, and turn up my street about a block away from my building. All of the sudden, "whump!" Something hits me in the head. A split-second later, I see a crow flying away. Odd, but I figure it was taking off, and misjudged how close I was or something. But lo and behold, seconds later, it swings by again and rams my head once more! Then it flew off to a tree across the street, and started cawing at me.

    I know crows will sometimes attack people if their near its nest, but it seems a tad early for that, yet. And I didn't have anything shiny on me, either, so I guess it was just being malevolent? :(

    The alternate explanation, of course, is that the uprising has begun. Anyone else witnessed unexplainable attacks of late? ;)
     
  2. thestrangequark

    thestrangequark Admiral Admiral

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    Obviously the crow harbors the soul of one you have horribly wronged in some way. If I were you I'd be sure all my windows are closed and doors are locked!
     
  3. Canadave

    Canadave Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^ No worries. My apartment is really old, and most of the windows are painted shut. ;)
     
  4. iguana_tonante

    iguana_tonante Admiral Admiral

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    There is something good about being attacked by a crow, tho. They kinda taste like chicken.
     
  5. Miss Chicken

    Miss Chicken Little three legged cat with attitude Admiral

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    In Australia is quite common for people to get attacked by plovers or by Australian magpie, as these videos shows

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wHreVKgOT4[/yt]

    [yt]hhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naygb8FVuzE&feature=related[/yt]
     
  6. Canadave

    Canadave Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Not a lot of meat on 'em, though.
     
  7. iguana_tonante

    iguana_tonante Admiral Admiral

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    Well, if you are lucky it might bring some friends for the next round.
     
  8. Miss Chicken

    Miss Chicken Little three legged cat with attitude Admiral

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    Sorry to say it Canadave but I have more sympathy for this guy than I have for you :)


    [​IMG]
     
  9. RJDiogenes

    RJDiogenes Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion Premium Member

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    When birds attack me I just tell them to flock off.

    Worst-case scenario:

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjj32CavzU0[/yt]
     
  10. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    Actually they taste like shit. That’s why humbling yourself by being forced to admit you were wrong is called “eating crow.”

    (No Sheryl Crow jokes, please.)
     
  11. Jadzia

    Jadzia on holiday Premium Member

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    When you're asleep tonight, this crow could find it's way in. Even though the windows are painted shut, it could still manage to find a way in, as wildlife always does, not matter what defenses we put in place. Sometimes we just can't explain it.

    So you would be wise to listen out for any strange noises tonight, just to be on the safe side: things like tapping noises, and flapping noises, or the sound of things being knocked over by the bird.

    They always go for the eyes. So you might want to keep them hidden safely under the covers while you sleep.

    But when you wake up tomorrow morning, the crow could well be perched on your bed, waiting for you to open your eyes, so it can peck them.

    If I were you, when I wake up I would make sure there is no bird on my bed before I opened by eyes. It's not much effort to check really, and it'd be worth it if it saved my eyes.

    I sure wouldn't want my eyes pecked out.
     
  12. Locutus of Bored

    Locutus of Bored Yo, Dawg! I Heard You Like Avatars... In Memoriam

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    You're screwed, man. Just move away now while you still can. You pissed off a crow somehow, and now they're holding a grudge against you. They're going to pass it along to all the other crows in the area for generations to come.

    Video

    Your only options are to go to war against the crows, wear a mask for the rest of your life, or do some kind of crow witness relocation program and move far far away.
     
  13. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

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    Oh no!

    Invest in some sulpwnls!

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgAbVfh6WYg[/yt]
     
  14. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    Yep, they’re smart birds. And talented too!

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKjJMcJG9z8[/yt]
     
  15. Locutus of Bored

    Locutus of Bored Yo, Dawg! I Heard You Like Avatars... In Memoriam

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    Crows are also the only birds that can mimic human racial stereotypes.
     
  16. thestrangequark

    thestrangequark Admiral Admiral

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    In my culture the crow is the bringer of light, a positive force. Perhaps you are lucky!
     
  17. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    Oh, puh-leeze. The crows in that wonderful scene from Dumbo are authentic black characters, not stereotypes. And they’re funny.

    Unless you were intentionally being facetious, of course.
     
  18. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

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    You've met a black person, right? Because the crows are very broad interpretation of what a "black person" acts like.
     
  19. propita

    propita Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Crows are mean. My Dad always said to never piss off a crow; it will attack. Of course, it doesn't sound like you were provoking it, but maybe it felt threatened.
     
  20. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    The crows are singing and dancing, and that is how a lot of black entertainers talked and acted in 1941.

    From Wikipedia: