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Star Wars: Now More Harm than Good?

Kenobi did call him Darth".

That could be in jest.

I remember the action figures from the day said "Dark Lord of the Sith" for Vader, and that was waayyy before the word Sith was well-known.
 
Lightsabers can block blaster bolts because the Jedi/Sith use precognitive vision to know where the bolt is going to be.

:borg:

Surely you're the last person left who buys into that.

So if you fired double aught from a Winchester 12-gage at a Jedi he would... magically block each and every ball because he could swing his lightsaber magically fast - unless he was in combat against some random dude who could dodge the blade despite a diet of space corn.

Firing three simultaneous blaster bolts is as trivial as duct-taping three blasters together and wiring their triggers in parallel. Anybody could do it in five minutes and it would make precognition irrelevant. That's just simple physics.

There isn't any way to make a narrow, hand-operated tool act as a reliable defense against multiple projectiles, much less fragmentation weapons. Toss a WW-I hand-grenade near a Jedi and just what is he going to block?

That's why I said the whole concept falls apart.

It would've been trivial to write in a technological edge for them, such as personal shield devices whose design was a state secret, but instead Lucas tried to give them a mystical power, which also could've worked if it powered a mystical shield device. But no, he gave us the utterly ridiculous idea of a sword that cut down bullets - all bullets - from anywhere.
 
^ Yeah, but... they're Jedi. :wtf:

That's like criticizing Gandalf's ability to stop a giant fire demon using just a wooden staff. Doesn't matter whether or not it's practical, 'cause he's a wizard. Same principal, really.
 
Surely you're the last person left who buys into that.

So if you fired double aught from a Winchester 12-gage at a Jedi he would... magically block each and every ball because he could swing his lightsaber magically fast - unless he was in combat against some random dude who could dodge the blade despite a diet of space corn.

Firing three simultaneous blaster bolts is as trivial as duct-taping three blasters together and wiring their triggers in parallel. Anybody could do it in five minutes and it would make precognition irrelevant. That's just simple physics.

There isn't any way to make a narrow, hand-operated tool act as a reliable defense against multiple projectiles, much less fragmentation weapons. Toss a WW-I hand-grenade near a Jedi and just what is he going to block?

That's why I said the whole concept falls apart.

It would've been trivial to write in a technological edge for them, such as personal shield devices whose design was a state secret, but instead Lucas tried to give them a mystical power, which also could've worked if it powered a mystical shield device. But no, he gave us the utterly ridiculous idea of a sword that cut down bullets - all bullets - from anywhere.

It's spelled "double-ought" and "12-guage". Not that you'd know, I doubt you'd ever interacted with either. You derive very little enjoyment from movies and life in general don't you?
 
Kenobi did call him Darth".

That could be in jest.

I remember the action figures from the day said "Dark Lord of the Sith" for Vader, and that was waayyy before the word Sith was well-known.

No that's his actual name at the time of the movie, it's also why when Lucas decides that Father Skywalker and Darth Vader are one and the same in ESB, that Obi-Wan becomes a shady liar... :lol:
 
It's spelled "double-ought" and "12-guage". Not that you'd know, I doubt you'd ever interacted with either. You derive very little enjoyment from movies and life in general don't you?

No, "ought" and "aught" are both archaic was to say "zero", aught being more common back in the aughts when the 30.06 came out, and "guage" isn't even a word.
 
In this topic, an aging sci-fi fan decides to act /really really old/ and helpfully demonstrate what it is like to stand squarely on the wrong side of history.
 
^ Thank you! :)

I was nominated to the martial arts hall of fame for my work on sword physics. Even if lightsabers didn't weigh anything at all, they still couldn't move to intercept multiple bullets because the human body can't move that fast. Based on video analysis, strikes can take 0.25 seconds to execute, but to stop even low velocity pistol shots would require moves on the order of 0.003 to 0.006 seconds. If they could move that fast they'd look like the Flash or agents in The Matrix.

A good writer could possibly work around the issue, but Lucas seems to just have made things up as he went along. He introduced the weapon as an obsolete relic of a more civilized age, used by a nearly extinct group of knights, just as knights and swords appear in our own history. Then, instead of bemoaning the invention of the blaster and how it spelled the end of the old social order, as the first scenes implied, he portrayed the knights using their obsolete weapons to smack down bullets, deflect lasers, cut through massive steel walls, slice through armies of robots, and even reflect shots at will back toward the firers, like a giant game of bullet billiards. He finally had multi-armed cyborgs spinning them like aircraft propellers.

If a hand-held blade was actually useful against things even as big and slow as arrows and crossbow bolts, knights of old wouldn't have needed shields and helmets to keep from becoming human pin cushions.

Then he piled on with senseless story arcs, wooden dialog, warrior teddy bears, the worst romance in screen history, whining heroes, and finally explained super powers as a bizarre blood infection.
 
^ Again, they're Jedi, they use the Force. This is basically the same as saying "Magic did it" from a storytelling point of view. I don't see why you have such a difficult time accepting that.
 
If they use the Force, how come they accidentally lose their lightsabers every forty-five seconds? Shouldn't they use wrist straps or something?

And it's not magic. It's a nasty blood infection.
 
They'll invent lightsaber straps around the same time as the Federation finally invents seat belts. (Must have been the same engineers.)
 
Also, being Jedi, they ought to be able to force-call it back.

And lightsabers are portrayed as cooler and better than blasters because Star Wars supports that lost order of knights, that "more civilized age", as better than the current age. It's a bad thing that it was lost. So obviously their swords trump regular weapons. It's just nowadays lack the elite knights who can wield them.

Anyway, all of these themes, including the golden lost age and the natural versus unnatural machinery, could be (and probably are) found in computer games and the EU literature as well the movies. The medium doesn't limit the them.
 
Lightsabers can block blaster bolts because the Jedi/Sith use precognitive vision to know where the bolt is going to be.

:borg:

Surely you're the last person left who buys into that.

So if you fired double aught from a Winchester 12-gage at a Jedi he would... magically block each and every ball because he could swing his lightsaber magically fast - unless he was in combat against some random dude who could dodge the blade despite a diet of space corn.

Firing three simultaneous blaster bolts is as trivial as duct-taping three blasters together and wiring their triggers in parallel. Anybody could do it in five minutes and it would make precognition irrelevant. That's just simple physics.

There isn't any way to make a narrow, hand-operated tool act as a reliable defense against multiple projectiles, much less fragmentation weapons. Toss a WW-I hand-grenade near a Jedi and just what is he going to block?

That's why I said the whole concept falls apart.

It would've been trivial to write in a technological edge for them, such as personal shield devices whose design was a state secret, but instead Lucas tried to give them a mystical power, which also could've worked if it powered a mystical shield device. But no, he gave us the utterly ridiculous idea of a sword that cut down bullets - all bullets - from anywhere.

Congratulations, you've revealed Star Wars as stupid. :p I doubt there's a single example of science fiction (perhaps fiction period) in the world that isn't in some way logically inconsistent, even stupid in some respect. Even something hailed to be as hard as Gattaca reveals dire flaws on close inspection. Supposedly tightly-plotted Babylon 5 has at least a dozen instances that require people to be idiots in order for the story to work as intended. And, blasphemy of blasphemies, Childhood's End features a version of evolution that makes no sense. These are all works meant to be taken more seriously than Star Wars--and the rule of cool is probably to be construed more liberally in a cartoon world such as Lucas'.

That said, I like pointing out stupid stuff too, so here's another: AT-ATs are ludicrous. They wouldn't work, and even if they did, they'd be much less effective than tanks. And the Death Star is physically retarded; it's only easy to suspend disbelief about the unbinding of whole planets because it's at a level completely outside normal human experience. No one would buy the mathematically equivalent relationship of a guy running on a treadmill and somehow lighting all of North America.

But both are pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm not really sure I agree with the OP that the increased automation of the films production necessarily had to lead to the Star Wars Age of Suck. I'll grant, the way the actors were directed (i.e., not directed) against the bluescreens is probably the central and irreparable flaw in the film. But bluescreening is nothing new and hundreds of films have managed to get competent, even great performances, out of their actors despite the lack of complete physical sets to anchor them to the fictional world's false reality. Even "complete" physical sets are very often obviously unreal when seen from the actor's point of view. Ultimately, I blame it less on the technique than on people who had no idea, or had forgotten, how to make a movie at all.

That and three of the shittiest scripts ever written.

I even sort of want to blame the actors, and wonder if that's fair--I find it hard to believe that people like MacGregor and Portman would act in such a stiff, unnatural way unless actually ordered to do so. I mean, these people must be somewhat capable of directing themselves, right?
 
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You hit on a main acting point. I think the studios and investors kept Lucas in check for the first installment, before his ego was the size of a solar system, and things went downhill from there.

His ego-protecting fall-back argument was with the series from the beginning, though, that he was intentionally trying to remake a suck-ass genre with bad dialog and bad acting, but with way better special effects. It allowed him to excuse excrible writing, massive contradictions, plot holes that could swallow a solar system, and every other glaring flaw that could raise questions about his competence and his vision. Keep in mind that his other great science fiction foray was Howard the Duck.

So as you watch his Star Wars movies in the chronological order that they were made, you see a slide from what he could sell to nervous studios to the rampant idiocy that is Lucas.
 
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